Corky, The Lovable Las Vegas Retard, takes out his paste box and
climbs on top of it (with the help of a few of his personal aides)

I may be a retard, but I observe some things around this world that
just don't make sense. That is part of the reason I'm here today,
carrying on about a topic you may or may not give a shit about (that
has been beaten to death before, and will be beaten to death again many
more times in the future). I'll continue anyway, since the medication
still has some time before it wears off.

Corky takes a bite of his pasted covered cookie before he
continues. He notices a young gangster off in the crowd with his
sleeves rolled up, and points out to him...

Excuse me son, does that tattoo of yours say "Not PP friendly"?

Corky continues before the young man can answer him

How many long hours of drinking (or glue sniffing) did it take some
of you before having the balls to put this kind of tattoo on any
visible part of your body? Last I checked, we were all mobsters here,
are we not? And mobsters, are here to rob, cheat, steal, and do
whatever is necessary to earn money for the organization they work for.
If that means reaching into YOUR pockets Mr. "Not PP Friendly", to
ensure my family continues to thrive, you better bet your sweet ass I'm
going to do it!

I know what some of you may be thinking...

"What do you know? You're just a retard with a hockey helmet!
How dare you insult my tattoo! I snatched three purses to purchase this
sweet ink, and the guy at the tattoo shop said he heard a rumor that it
might increase my prowess!"

I'll tell you what I do know. I don't think any of us particularly want
anyone stealing from us, but it's part of the lifestyle we live.

That isn't to say I will try and rob every Tom, Dick, or Harry on
the streets. Hell, I wouldn't even consider reaching into the pockets
of someone I didn't know who was ranked higher than me, because that is
incredibly disrespectful. But if you're ranked below me, then I feel
I've earned the right to try and muscle you around and take what you've
worked hard for. In fact, it is my right to do so!

Don't like it? Do something about it. Rank up, buy some bodyguards.
Become something other than a self-entitled punk who feels empowered by
the stupid tattoo (or t-shirt, if you're a pussy afraid of getting
inked) on his arm, back, or ass, giving a false sense of protection
from real mobsters.

Go ahead, keep your shitty tattoo if you must, it is your right I
suppose. That said, it is my right to tell you that I feel the
tattoo on your body is more retarded that I am.

Thoughts are welcome, as is discussion, and agreement or
disagreement.

Want to steal from me? Go for it! Maybe you'll get lucky,
maybe you'll get shot. At least I know through your attempt, that
you're living this life the way it was meant to be lived, and I can at
least respect that.

Thank you. God damn even though he is retared this is true. I mean, my ancetsors always said, "If you can PP me, that's great and keep the money." I mean who in the right mind will ask someone if they can PP you? I mean really. You wouldn't ask someone to steal your money? I mean if you can do it do it. Why would you say no? "So I don't lose my money, people say." How stupid is that. There's stuff called banks! Also people don't really carry more then 5000 dollars. (Just saying that.) Right?! You'll get your money back in a second or two. So stop freaking crying.

Thank you Corky.

Throws a cookie at him

See... This is something i've always agreed with. Every letter of it in fact. Which let's be honest here... It's a damned weird feeling to tell people i'm agreeing with a complete and utter retard. But hey, there we go.

You Corky, will probably really like travelling to our fair city of Philadelphia. Go take a look at our city rules. It might interest you a little. I'll explain why... see...

A long long time a go when my father was Underboss to this city. He came to his Godmother with a suggestion. A suggestion about city wide pickpocketing rules for Philadelphia. To put it plain and simply... If someone is lower ranked than you and you're in the city of Philadelphia. You can go fucking nuts on that persons pockets if you so please. We could care less if they're wearing one of those silly tattoos you have been so imaginatively describing. Just do it. You'll get no reprocautions from the Philly leadership. However, if that person is higher ranked than you... Well as you said... It's damned right disrespectful. So if you get caught you better start watching you back.

Oh how I dislike those silly tattoos or t-shirts (for the pussy afraid to get inked).

Ah, that's why I love the Philly Pickpocket rules.  I look for the guy with that silly tattoo and pick his pockets out of principal.  If you don't want you pockets picked, get good enough to stop would-be pickpockets.

People can put whatever they want on their skin or on their t-shirts.  I don't care.  I'd prefer it be respectful, and not go on and on about how they'll kill me, or fuck me, or whatever the hell that silly idiots put in their tattoos these days.  They want to put their feelings about being pickpocketed on their ass, I don't care.  It likely won't stop me from pickpocketing.  City rules will dictate what I do and where.  And I'd much prefer to see better tattoos on those hot mafiosas...something like "WillHayes is the man," or the like. 

And you're right.  This has been debated up and down, and will continue to be debated.  I think this whole pickpocketing debate is ridiculous.  How pickpocketing is "legislated" is ridiculous, and how people think they can pickpocket anybody, including those who are higher ranked is ridiculous.  But that's just me.

No pickpocketing tattoos in this day and age are kinda like "send intelligent requests if you want to join this family" requests.  Don't you think?  Both kind of obsolete. 

Well, all I know is that every time I stop by the trucking depot and inquire as to whether or not I may heist a truck the selfish bastards ALWAYS say no.  What gives?  I spent many long years working my way through crime school and now when I ask people if I can steal from them they say no?  How in the hell am I supposed to make a living. 

Fortunately not everybody objects to my dealing drugs - else I would have starved to death by now.

By the way - is there anyone here that wouldn't mind being shot?  It would do wonders for my reputation if someone would just let me shoot them.  I mean, I paid good money for this gun - I even paid extra to get one with bullets - and it's just like the stealing thing - noone seems to be "wack friendly" (or "wacky" as we like to call them).  Jeeze Louise...

I'm depressed.  I think I must have chosen the wrong line of work.  :(

I agree with WillHayes on something as he stated, " people can put whatever they want on their skin or on their t-shirts. I don't care. I'd prefer it to be more respectful, and go on and on about how they'll kill me, or fuck me, or whatever the hell that silly idiots put in their tattoos these days. They want to put their feelings about pickpocketed on theirs ass, I don't care."

Some cities say "We are a pickpocket friendly city no matter what your tattoo says", and others say differently. I personally have debated over this topic time and time again. It's kinda cut and dry now, if you don't want to be pickpocketed go to a city that handles pickpocketing a bit differently.

I personally couldn't stand pickpocketing but a few friends kinda made it into a game between us. I personally enjoying seeing who I can steal from and who I can't.

Now dealing with higher rank  suck as the Godfathers/Godmothers, Captains, etc.  I might approach them at a different angle. If you are worried  feel free to pickpocket me whenever you like I'm not gonna bite but I might pickpocket you back.

Ive printed off a handful of 'Not Wack Friendly' shirts to pass around to my crew members and various friends. Im sure they'll become a raging success around these parts since 'NOT PP FRIENDLY' or 'PP FRIENDY FOR FAMILY OR ELSE' tattoos have become the rage lately. Id like to thank my RHRetard for taking some time away from his drool rag and paste jar to mutter these incredible words for you all to hear this evening.

Change cities if you don't like the rules. PP is part of the game and I agree with most of you. Keep the money in the bank because it's just that simple.

The problem here is that there are many a lowly idiot gangster and goomba or in fact those who have not made their bones who disrespect and pickpocket those who have earned there bones! There are even some that have made their bones but still pickpocket from those above them. I had to deal with a douche not so long ago who had been made and thought it was acceptable to Pickpocket me a Capo not once but twice... the second after we had already had words after a previous attempt in Philly of all places!

Now I believe that if I catch some unmade punk with his hand in my pocket that I should be able to put my .45 to his head there at that moment and blow his noodles all over the sidewalk, but what would happen if I did that? Oh there would be uproar, messages would be sent to my Don asking to be compensated and for my blood to be spilt.

So I say this... I shall remove the tattoo when I can blow a crater in the side of every punks head that decides they can reach into my pockets and take my hard earned cash. Of course those who do it that have been Made will still have to go down the sit down route but I want correct and proper punishment, not some nandy pandy girly tickle slap on the wrists. So untill all this happens then I will keep the tattoo as since having it done it has cut the hassle of having to deal with a good majority of idiots, who can't understand simple things like city rules or rank by about 90%.

I'ld like to order up a bunch of those "Not Wack Friendly Shirts" - do the come in XXS (extra extra stupid). 

I'm still waiting for someone to come strolling in the club with a "Wack Friendly Family Only" shirt on.   Now if only I could figure out how to take the safety off...

How I feel is if your good enough it won't happen cause it will happen anyways i you like it or not so put your money in the bank and well for wacks if its not in the rules of the city what can you do I mean really