I was searching in the attic just a moment ago, trying to find all the christmas presents I'd stolen to give to my associates when I stumbled across this old poem, circulated to our ancestors a LONG time ago.

I did a bit of research and believe the "mafiagods" reference alludes to a land that never quite became accessible to us mobsters. Anyways, thought it might bring back some memories for the older mafiosa's who might have heard their predecessors telling stories from back in the day... enjoy!

THE NIGHT BEFORE MG/CHRISTMAS:

Twas the night before MG, when all through IRC
?Not a gangster was stirring, not even EB;?
The nicks were registered by tita with care,?
In hopes that IzzyCreamcheese soon would be there;

??The children were nestled next to some guy named Tranqer.?
While visions of Evsie naked seemed so much more ranker.?
And Angie in her kerchief, and SA in his cap,
?Had just settled down for a long winters nap??

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,?
SA sprang from the PC to see what was the matter.
?Away to the window he flew like a flash,?
Tore open his robe and all saw his rash??

The moon on the breasts of Brandi standing in the snow?
Gave the luster of mid-day to Talliens object below
?When, what to my wondering eyes should appear.
?But a miniature Ray, and eight tiny reindeer.

??With a little old driver, such an ornery prick
?I knew in a moment it must be UncleNick?
More rapid than even his shits they came?
And he yelled and he called them each by name

??Now FRANKIE! Now JIMMY! Now YELLOW and KES
?On JENNY. On STARR, LARA, and of course - X?
To the top of the HQ! To the top of the wall!?
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!??

Like a carload of mobsters that run from a crime,
?when they screw up the job and want to make time?
So up to the top of the HQ they all flew?
With UncleNicky all full of shit and Tiggy too??

And then, with a tinkling, I heard on the ro! of?
That bastard was peeing on each little hoof.
?As SA drew out his gun, and was turning around,
?Down the chimney fell Nicky, with a leap and a bound

??He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
?And his clothes smelled like fish with ashes and soot;?
A bundle of boys he had flung on his back,
?And he looked like bubba just opening his pack

??His eyes -- how bloodshot! his ass dimples how merry!?
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!?
His droll foul mouth was drawn up like a bow,?
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow??

The stump of a crack pipe he held tight in his teeth,?
And the smoke it encircled his fat head like a wreath;
?He had a broad ugly face and a big round belly,
?That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly??

He was chubby and plump, a miserable old elf,
?And SA laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;?
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,?
Soon gave SA to know he had nothing to dread??

He brought with him, Scotland, queen pixie herself?
She stood there beside that old fat bastard elf?
with a glint in her eye, a quip on her tongue
?and above all else, that great set of lungs

??He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
?he filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,?
giving SA the finger and picking his nose,?
he grabbed his crotch and up the chimney he rose;

??He sprang to his Ray, to his team gave a whistle,?
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
?But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
?"HAPPY MAFIAGODS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"