Panda pads unsteadily into the street, having had one to many glasses of rice wine in the strip club. He has a puzzled look on his face and he's staring at peoples hands.

You are all a bunch of Sick muthafuckers, do you know that? There is less inbreading in a family froim the deep south than there is around here. Everwhere you look you see hunches, and webbed toes and fingers. Some have misshapen faces, buck teeth, extra limbs or vestigal stumps and no one seems to notice. Is this the normal here. The Phase 'Hell I like you son, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister' is not supposed to apply to people who are related.

Panda glares at the throng of people assembled infront of him. He singles out two unfortunates to make his point.

When I look at him, he's fine looking, but that bitch over there? Fucking Formaldehyde face. I see though this is not enough of an explanation for a few of you too inbread to have any intelligence. Well then let me explain in more detail.

Gangster A, lets call him Lia Vazzi comes to these shores and sets up. Along the way, he falls in love with Gangster B, we shall call her Mercedes. So Lia and Mercedes go at it like Rabbits. You name it and they have probably done it, and best of all, thios bitch even swallows. But hang on a minute. Lia is a douche Bag, and everyone knows it, so he wakes up one morning wearing Cement Shoes.  So in comes his Son, we'll call the Son DonnieBrasco. Well Old Donnie is a chip of the old block, so he starts knocking one into dear old Mom, who oblidges by changing her quote and telling the world. And along comes their Son, whom we shall call BrianAria. Brian is technically Lia's Grandson, he is also Mercedes Grandson and her son. He is also his own Father's Halfbrother. And good old mom still swallows. Next up, Mom dies, probably from old age, or syphalis, take your pick, and Donnie gets killed by a Wackback, cos inbreeding him too thick to know what end of the gun the bullets come out of. So Now we have Brian Aria and his Half Sister/Aunt who we shall call Cynthia shacked up, and guess what? Their kid will be even more of a retard. The Kid, whom we shall now call Mongo will never be able to acurately work out his own family tree, because half the members are the same person.

I'm all for relationships, this isn't merely bitterness cos I'm the only Panda here and will probably die a virgin. All I'm saying is when uyou die, and your son or daughter takes over, at least tell thenm who their other parent is so they don't end up shagging them.

Done with his rant, Panda sits down and rifles through his pockets for some painkillers.

Looks straight at Panda and doesn't even blink.

If your gotta do naughty business, please keep it in doors. Little kids walk the street too you know.

In summary we should have killed Lia_Vazzi at birth...

Kates leans on a nearby lamppost, cooly watching the... panda gesticulating and ranting. At all lull in the conversation, she clears her throat and speaks.

Mr. Panda, I think has a good point about the strange nature of children pursuing the same romances as their parents. Although his correlation between bitches swallowing and bitches getting pregnant struggles on the biological level. I can certainly say that if some long lost son of my fiance, who was killed before his time, showed up I'd probably feel some sort of attraction to him. Even a cousin or brother would most likely contain enough similarities with Judge to appeal to me. We do inherit so much of our parent's tastes, after all. That sort of thing, though, seems much more likely than children "knocking one into dear old Mom"- I'd be disturbed to hear of any such occurrences. Yet I overall agree that both individuals and the community would be better served in pursuing more varied relations.

Turns to Reilly, who has made a comment about Panda being inappropriate in the presence of children.

And with all due respect, Mr. Reilly, this is the fucking mafia- not an elementary school.

I've been saying that for eight years Boss, but no one would listen too me back then either.

Panda swallows his pill and then cheers up

At least I won't die a virgin, I'm getting married! If I die, my son will not be sleeping with her.

Panda smiles that Kates has finally started to accept him for who he is.

My Dear Kates, so nice to see you out and about in the streets supporting the common Panda. Whilst yes, my choice of language may have been a tad colorful, I did it merely to get my point across. If I die, and my son returns to these shores, then surely his Mother is the woman I am about to marry, the Beautiful Rhia who has graciously consented to be my wife. I am afterall a complex biological organism and not an amoeba capable of reproducing on my own. Yes, I'm sure that this isn't the case all the time. Some children may be from earlier failed romances, or before the mobster took up the life of crime, but all to often I have seen direct blood relations try and engage in sexual congress with each other... even from a Panda's Point of view, that's a bit sick.

But a Brother, or Cousin, or a sister even, I have no problem with that.

Good sir, whether you are truly a speaking panda or a hobo in an elaborate panda suit- it is undeniable that you are, in fact, HARDLY "the common panda". Modesty does not become us in our line of work.

And thank you for bringing this question to the streets- I can't recall seeing something of its ilk before... which is quite the statement nowadays.

Smiling, Kates winks and continues down the sidewalk towards her club.

I'd like to protest that one of my ancestors was named Mongo. He wasn't retarded.

Sadface.

I wasn't insinuating that all Mongo's are retarded, simply this one. I tried to Pick names that were not currently represented on our streets to save any embarrassment it may cause.

Panda turns and calls after Kates

Feel free to come and check me out personally anytime you want to assure yourself that I'm all panda and not a Hobo in an elaborate suit.