Hello guys, my name is PeterPerttits.

I doubt you've heard of me, because I have barely opened my mouth at all for the past month and to be honest I've done nothing of note at all, so I would particularly impressed/worried if you have been paying attention to me.

My achievements to date pretty much exclusively include kneeling at the throne of KingRevan prior to his dismissal from life and hastily distancing myself from RazorRamon's festering corpse after he got himself SpikeS'd. And, whilst this is quite the formidable CV of a would-be mafia boss, one might be forgiven for wondering why a fine-bosomed chap of little renown like myself, would decide to abandon the safety of their family and venture out into sunny old Nevada with nary a notch on the gun or a bodyguard in tow. Bizarre, right?

Well, rest assured my friends the answer to that is very simple; I heard Las Vegas was hot. By contrast, Detroit is cold. And wet. And overcrowded. The price of property in Downtown these days in particular is extortionate, like half the country seem to be here and I'm hardly a wealthy chap - I can't even afford adequate protection let alone buy myself a little condo to make a Sunday dinner for my Mum! The poor old girl is starving, too.

Given this, it really seems to me that I have little choice but to get myself to Las Vegas (assuming they do cheap bus tickets, as I can't afford the flight) and stake my claim in a dilapidated club (or some sort of titty bar preferably), as a base for my operations. The city has kindly been opened up to bottom-feeders like me and I intend to capitalise.

What operations will those be; I hear nobody ask? Well, at the moment I guess it'll start out small. Like really small. Probably like a crew of one I suspect, as I haven't arranged for any chums to join me at this stage. However, I'm sure we will grow insanely quickly as the appeal of working for a boss who is slightly protected, without HQ forts and has no real prospects of advancement, will be hard for people to ignore. In the future though, I expect to own loads of casinos and be a real fucking bigshot. That'll be nice.

One thing I will actually try to do though, in-between sucking up to those who are much stronger and more powerful than I am of course, is make some sort of contribution to the streets. I do like being out here and the wind upon my face is a welcome change from the dank pits I usually frequent and will shortly, affectionately, call my headquarters. I'll try to do more of that in the not-so-distant future. Maybe.

Probably.

Maybe.

Anyway, that's enough from this mouth-breather. My headquarters will be opening its doors shortly and assuming I can acquire the interests in said run-down strip joint, I'm sure a 40-something wretch will be offering drinks in my name shortly thereafter. Feel free to stop by - if you can't find anywhere better to go - and send me your lovely well wishes here or by post.

Cheers. 

That is a fine idea, Daryl and just the kind of innovation we need over in Paradise to set ourselves apart. I also suspect it will mirror the mood of our punters perfectly.

I shall hire (beg) a team of laborers to transport the gargantuan carcass to our HQ.

May I offer my sincere wishes at this point, to an obvious up and coming future star of these shores.

From the small and barely formed floor of an empty and liberally soiled I might add, Titty bar in Paradise Vegas, we will see this fellow rise, and rise, to a force to be reckoned with I am sure! Congratulations PeterPerttits! Salut!

I would offer my services for the suggested moving of said RazorRamon to a warmer climate. I have the earth moving machinery necessary to drag the immense bulk from state to state if so desired. Or it can be done utilising more conventional transportation channels. It would of course require butchering into manageable segments but I’m sure that providing someone is willing to prick the surface of the thing and release the gaseous contents, we could proceed along such lines.......the decision is yours Peter.