After repeated taps on my shoulder by pin striped mobsters, breathless whispers in my ear by sexy sirens, to just flat out being knocked down by total incompetents, I sit on the curb cradling my head in my hands wondering what I am doing here. The old saying "You can't pick your relatives" I am thinking is definitely NOT a truism here as I am feeling pressured to make a life and death decision who I want as a family.

If I had a gun at this moment I should just blow my brains out! Every tap, whisper, bitch slap from some Made Man, Capo and up fails to tell my about why "I should pick your crew".

I look at the crew you are sponsoring and 5 out of 5 members are DEAD! I duck into a few funerals and the leading cause of death outside of not being "IN" a family is "Death By Family"! I wonder if the over 50 gangsters that died in the last seven hours since I have been walking the streets would still be alive if some Made Man had explained why their family was the place to be instead of gratuitously just capping a prospective gangster after they had looked around for just two or three days. While I am pondering I am further slapped and told to "join or die kid", I cant afford to leave a family if I don't like it and the other options are dishonor, suicide or wait for one of my family mates to clean out my brain pan while I am not looking.

The wino pissing in the alley tells me he "I was like you once" with a toothless grin and I wonder what family he was in at one time.

I am about to give up my life in crime and looking in the newspaper for undertakers school since I can only snatch purses and rob the post office so many times before I end up in jail or laid out at the funeral home. I need a drink and then look back at the wino and thinking "I bet you were like me" and instead of being confused just drank away your problems.

Sighing I say to the wino "gimme the bottle" taking a swig and off to score some drugs....

One thing I can say really...

Ask not what a family can do for you, but what you can do for the family.

This is a bugbear of mine.  

As far as I'm concerned, no friend of ours should be approaching anyone to become their associate or explaining why someone should beg to join.  It should be those looking for the protection and perks of a family that should be approaching the families themselves.  If they're not intelligent enough to find out which organisation is the best fit for them then I'd suggest they're not worth having in your organisation.

I mean, why should any self-respecting family in this thing of ours be 'pitching' for associates?