Petey P had spent the preceding 5 days fighting through the mountain of fan mail his previous appearance to the streets had encouraged. He knew he would be inundated with requests for additional stories after his recent exploits had proven so popular - two respondents and one wasn't even in his amazing family - but the sheer volume had surprised even he. The HQ would be packed to the rafters with Swiss_Tony's papier mâché sculptures of his favourite moustache comb, 'Black Twirler', for years to come since Petey had promptly brushed them all out of his sight so he could rest his feet on his desk. 

And the tips...Jesus Christ, the tips!

He'd received 50 large. 50 FUCKING LARGE from a Wise Guy from back in Detroit. Stinky, sweaty, overcrowded, Detroit. Petey missed it sometimes, but that was mainly because TheMollusk hadn't been there and Petey hadn't been able to shake that leech from his bar stool at the Palace in weeks. All in all though, what a time to be alive, and how fortunate to be as blessed in entertaining the masses as Peter bloody Perty undoubtedly was.

It was with these thoughts occupying his mind that he decided to return to the streets and give the public a little more of what they so obviously wanted - Peter Leopold Perttits, atop his soapbox, loud and proud.

"Friends, how are we all?" He asked to nobody in particular "Excellent. I am glad you are in as fine spirits as I am." He waited for laughter that never materialised.

"Now that I've got your attention, I would like to invite you all to a formal party to celebrate my becoming a Capo, which I'm sure you all noticed and have been purchasing gifts to honour. I know that in between not coming to the streets and bashing Durdens left and right, you've probably been celebrating this magnificent feat at home with your families and your children too, but my gathering will be a black-tie affair, held in our very own strip club, the Pert Palace, Paradise, Las Vegas. Certainly not something to be missed!"

Petey clicked his fingers and Lerano stepped forward with an armful of crappy invitations which appeared to have been written on the back of napkins.

"My man Lerano here will be handling the numbers, so please make yourselves known to him as we can only accommodate about 100-200 people and, as you can imagine, interest will be overwhelming. Don't miss out."

With that Petey began to give himself a round of applause which, after 20 seconds of his finest glaring, was reluctantly picked up by his two lackies.

"You're too kind friends, too kind. Now, if you can't make it - and really unless your daughter has died, I really don't think you have anything more important to do - please offer me your well deserved congratulations here. Thank you!" 

Miss_Niki looked around the street at the people milling about, noticing that no one person had offered congratulations to Peter. As she stepped forward she clapped her hands with enthusiasm. " Congratulations Mr. Perttits. Reaching Capo is quite a feat!!" she smiled. "My regrets at not being able to attend your gathering though, I will send your gift in through the postal system." She bowed slightly as she made her exit. 

Lerano was tired after spending the day over at Pert Palace writing invitations on the back of napkins and cigarette packets, no expense spared by everyone's favourite Las Vegas Paradise titty bar leader.

The last thing Lerano wanted to do was hand out these invitations, she was more interested in scissoring the new talent they'd recruited into Pert Palace, particularly TheDean, not that he was talented but he did enjoy a scissoring as much as Lerano did. Alas though, here she was, waiting for someone, anyone but Petey's crew to come and take an invitation. So far TheMollusk had collected 7 on his own, possibly just to wipe the snotty discharge from his huge nose and Dorian had also come and collected one, though was later seen eating it in the corner.

Lerano wondered to herself if anyone would be up for this, as so far it was going to be just a normal Tuesday evening where we see Swiss_Tony naked cartwheeling around the palace and TheDean and Rittz having who can fart the loudest competitions.

Everything a girl could wish for.

Tyrion was positively wet with excitement. He never dreamed he'd live to see the day that the mighty Peter PertTits would reach the dizzy heights of Capo. All those that laughed at Pete and called him names would now have the proverbial egg on their faces. Tyrion could see them now, all sat at home inconsolable, too upset to even leave the house and shoot at a Durden or two.

Congratulations, Pete. It truly is a wonderful honour to see such a fine individual as yourself attain the rank of Capo. As soon as I learned of this momentus news, I went straight home and marked it in both my diary and my calander! Now future generations can look back in awe at the era that contained such amazing feats as this.

As for your celebrations, it's likely I won't be there. Not that I have anything better to do, it's just that I don't think I could stomach being in the same place as you for very long without wanting to punch you. I'm sure you understand! Being in the presence of a man such as yourself is always likely to bring out the jealousy in a small little Wise Guy like me.

Tyrion gives a nod of the head to Peter before heading off to do absolutely nothing worth noting.

You're an inspiration to all us hard working mobsters Pete, keep up the hustle.

8 people showed up to this shin dig of sorts. 5 of them just came by to complain about the odor flowing from the orifices on the slowly decaying corpse of RazorRamon. Lucky for ole Pete, Ragnarok the Happy made a cameo and brought fresh lard and crisp from the local bin. It ended up being a grand time indeed.

Tony releases at great pressure the drink he was about to swallow, directly over a 5 foot by 4 foot selfie of Peter hung straight in front of the titty bar entrance and exclaims.......

How many fucking people? 100 to 200? Are we going to shoot them and stack them on top of each other because that’s the only way we’re going to get them fucking in!

Tony shakes his head as his boss; Peter Leopold Perttits (as he now liked to be called) paraded himself in front of half a dozen people. His trademark cravat wistfully dancing in the evening breeze and the title of Capo tattooed on his neck between the top of his shirt collar and his hair line, which he’d had purposely raised in line with the top of his ears especially for the occasion.

Tony was however a man of honour, a man of steel and more importantly...........well I can’t recollect the rest but...............he was there beside his boss and mentor, celebrating in style among the many leading celebrities and guests of their time. A crush was expected at the titty bar and nobody liked a crush better than Peter who, had been conceived at one during a 3 for 2 at the local IKEA.

Peter was adamant that the world would not spin by without this milestone being celebrated. The Vegas titty bar had come of age and literally everyone was expected to attend the celebrations.

He grabs his boss by his shoulders and embraces him tightly, kissing him firmly and very manly like on each cheek whilst whispering in his ear........that’s for later chief...........as he slips a fresh tube of cracked nipple cream into his side pocket.

Salut, Salut I say!

You are all too kind, too kind indeed. Except Tyrion, who could actually be a little kinder - bastard.

I'm pleased to announced that Pert Palace has been positively rocking with well-wishers celebrating this momentus event. At one point there was nearly five people at the bar, which is just tremendous. 

I am sure March 14-15 will live long in the memory; Petey P made it to Capo and TheMollusk made it out from under his rock. One for diaries around the world, I'm sure.