As I walked down the streets of New York City, I was assaulted by the smells: garbage, sweat, cigarettes, food carts, and the hard-to-classify odors that were blasting on waves of frigid air out of subway grates, and building vents. Never inhaling too hard, just in case. I thought back to a time when I was just a girl wanting to be more, to do more, but life had other plans...
 
 

Part I: Humble Beginnings

"Lina, what do you wanna' do with your life? You are seventeen years old; you need to figure your shit out."

My mother stood there in all of her Hispanic glory, with hands on her hips asking the impossible of me, wanting me to tell her about my life when I did not quite know who I was. I stared into my mother’s eyes hoping that I could somehow grasp a tenth of knowledge held within hers. I counted to three, and on a soft breath I breathed out, "Ma' I want to be great." I didn't actually think that my softly spoken words were heard over the radio, and the sounds of Sunday afternoon New York City, but I chanced a glance up, and saw my mother’s eyes wet with un-shed tears.

She stared into my eyes for what felt like an eternity, "You will be my Lina, you will be that and much more." I smiled, and believed every word she said. I hugged her, because I felt that she needed it.  Her and I both knew that I was the stronger of the two of us, and left to search for my father. I found him where he was always at, "The Families Business". He was writing in his ledger, something he did religiously, when I heard a muffled gunshot ring across the room...

BOOOM

The air rent, the smell of gun powder itched my nose, as I stared in horror at what was before me.  My father was laying prone over his blood soaked desk, and what was once his head, splattered all over the walls.  Behind him, his bodyguard standing with smoke blowing from his freshly fired gun. I saw my death in his eyes, but before I could react, Ricky DonaVidcci's gun was underneath his chin - I guess old habits truly did die-hard. Ricky D was notorious for being right outside the door; he was my bodyguard, and we had known one another since we were but children. He always protected me, and did whatever it took. I looked him square in the eyes. 

"No Ricky D let me do this." He looked into my eyes for what seemed like endless moments before he deemed me capable, and he knew for sure that I was serious, but still one of us had to be the voice of reason. "Little Lina, you know this "family business" is not for you, your papa...” His eyes filled with tears at the mention of my father, his body still lay cooling on his desk. I had glanced at him that once, but not again; my father was no longer there. "Ricky D...” I said between clenched teeth, "This is my fucking right. I will do this or you can find yourself a fucking new job, and you know you won’t last out there without my protection." Understanding dawned on Ricky D, the knowledge crept into his eyes.

My new position as head of la familia, Consigliere to Rayln of Shameless. Silently he handed me the gun then he kicked out at my father’s bodyguard, sending him crashing to his knees, "Hands on top of your fucking head." Ricky D said between clenched teeth. I could tell he was holding himself back, giving me my right to defend my family; my father’s bodyguard laced his fingers together, and placed them on the back of his head. He gritted his teeth, and looked me in the eye, ”Pequeña lina..." I gave him a look that steeled any pleading, he knew. I sat on the desk that had my father’s cooling blood still on it, and looked at the man before me.

He was shaking in sheer terror, sweat beaded on his forehead, and his arm shook with effort to keep himself still. I uttered a single word, "Why?" He closed his eyes before speaking, "Tenían mi familia , no había nada ... Por favor." I jerked his head, "Te perdono." I pulled the trigger, and blood splayed everywhere, I set the gun down. "Ricky D, Call someone to clean this mess up. I need to go speak with my mother, and call everyone I want them at the table in the morning. I am holding a meeting." I walked out without a backwards glance. Ricky D's gaze trailing after me; I was no longer that confused woman-child. I was meant for this. I had finally found my purpose.

The Meeting - Off With His Head

Rayln sat at the head of the table, her blonde hair up in its customary fashion. Messy bun, in which always seemed to look not so messy -She was beautiful. I sat a few seats over, and admired my boss, not in a sexual way, but for purely aesthetic reasons, my fingers itched for my notepad briefly. Rayln’s gaze swung my way, her brown gaze pinning me to the spot. “Look you called this meeting, made me get out of bed at this un-Godly hour and for what, so that we could sit here and twiddle our thumbs?” The words were said without much heat, but there was an underlying meaning, get your point across, or I will call this meeting to a close; I sent her brief nod, before standing.

“Last night, a man by the name of Amadis BesoVidicia executed my father in cold blood, as Godmother@ Rayln has told you, I am sure. I sit at the head of my father’s table now, as deemed by the line of succession.” I cleared my throat before speaking further. “I am asking you Godmother Rayln to grant me permission to exact my vengeance.” Rayln watched me for a time. Her eyes revealing nothing, she took a sip of her coffee, and hummed softly, her eyes never leaving mine. The corners of her mouth tilted up ever so slightly, before saying, “What do you plan to give me in return?” I did not hesitate. “I give you my loyalty, my heart, my soul. I will bleed for New York."

She gave a slight nod, finding my answer sufficient. “Your permission has been granted; bring me his head on a fucking platter; this is Rae the bloodthirsty bae you’re talking to!” Amidst the hoots and hollers, I went to her then kneeled, and kissed her ring. “Consider it done.” I stood up at her gentle push; she took a moment to really look at me. “You are so young Aislin, don’t make me regret this. Your father was one of my finest Consiglieres’.” I nodded; she would never have cause to doubt me. Ricky D took my hand, and urged me to my seat. Rayln called the meeting to a close, and everyone began to clear out the building we used for all business related discussions.

Part II - Sharks in a sea full of fishes

The shipment to New York went off without a hitch thanks to Detective Gary Edwards.  He helped us smuggle in near a quarter of a million dollars, in which we sold twice over thanks to our ever-loyal FBN agent Jim Howe. I counted out my ten percent, and sent the rest as a donation to my Crew Leader; times were definitely looking up. Ricky D burst into my office; my training had taught me to always prepare for anything so I had my gun trained on him before I had even realized that I had done so. Ricky D stilled, and held up his arms in surrender. “Woah there Ais fuck, I just came to tell you I think we have a slight problem...” I gave him a, well what the fuck is it look. “Ais, you know that guy we had working for us -the one that worked in the prison?”

I nodded slightly. “Well the fuck has been leaking information to us to the fucking Detectives. You know how I know?” He went on not needing an answer. “Because the twit talked to Edwards.” I leaned back in my chair and motioned with my hand for Ricky D to take a seat. I had not lasted seven years just for it all to go to shit, because of a whim. I leaned forward, lit up one of Cuban’s finest, and took a slow pull before saying, “We are going to pay that fucker a visit.” Ricky D inhaled my Cuban Cigar - he had quit months earlier, and smiled catching my train of thought, we had worked together since we were children. After a few moments of enjoying my fine cigar, Ricky D left telling me that he had to watch my back, meaning he had to stand his ass out in the freezing cold to scare off anyone that dared approach my home.

I called Rayln to tell her of my plans, she told me to get it done, and I responded, "Well haven’t I always?" Laughter was in her voice, we both remembered a time, when she had asked for the head of a rival families, and I presented her with the fucker on her birthday with a, Merry fucking Christmas card attached to it. The head was in retribution for killing my father; the fucker had died gruesomely, and beautifully. I was one sadistic cookie, and we both knew it at seventeen, and at twenty-three point five you could say, things certainly do get better with age. I ended the call sometime later telling her of my plans, and fixed myself a glass of Chardonnay to await nightfall.

Somewhere between 8:00pm and 9:00pm

Ricky D and I arrived at the New York prison; we walked in, and was granted an audience with the warden. I hated the guy, he was all sorts of sleazy, but luckily Madam Lavina Crane kept him pretty busy with the girls she supplied him with. I cleared my throat as I watched his eyes travel from my legs, to breasts, and back to my eyes, and thought that today just might be the day that his luck ran out. I rolled my eyes knowing that I’d have a certain pissed off Detective if I were to cut his balls off so I refrained from doing so. “Where are they?” I said barely glancing at the warden the dislike was mutual, because he did not bother to answer, and after a few tense moments, Ricky D pulled out his gun.

Ricky D was downright frightening under the best of circumstances, but he was nothing compared to me. He was frightening on the outside. And well let us just say I have a knack for breaking things…and people. The Warden held out his hands, “Okay, okay they are in here.” He led us down a hallway, we made a few turns, and then we were at a door whose windows had been blacked out. I looked at the warden questioningly. It was clear to me, that this was not his first rodeo. He just shrugged, and left us to it. Ricky D went in first, and I followed him in shortly after. I pushed up my sleeves before giving my former business associate my full attention. Frank White had been trussed up like a chicken much to my delight and his silent fury.

I smiled softly, and nodded to Ricky D who cut the officers bindings. He did not struggle. I had to give the man points because he was sitting in a room with Grim and the fucking Reaper. I guess, once you knew death was coming you just either a. fought, or b. you accepted the inevitable, and he chose the latter, but I of course do so enjoy toying with my prey. I pulled my seat over so that I sat right across from him, an arm’s length away. Ricky D was at his back -a menacing force. I licked my lips as if I were hungry, and in truth I was. The officer cleared his throat, the first sign of nervousness; I cocked my head in question, trying to figure out where to start.

I smiled wickedly, my lips painted a blood red just for this occasion; it made my smile even more sinister. I suddenly got up and yanked his head back, and whispered in his ear, “Nunca morder la mano que te da de comer -Never bite the hand that feeds you.” I looked at Ricky D, and he grabbed the officers hand -I noticed he had a wedding band on, and pried it off his fingers.  He wouldn't be needing it. I pulled out my gun, and Ricky D moved his hand up further, and it was as if we were of one accord, the shot rang off, and blood sprayed everywhere.  Ricky D jumped back to avoid getting anymore on himself while I stepped into it, and looked at the officer as he cried, and yelled for help knowing none was coming.

I watched a few more moments until the man stopped yelling, and was laying still as stone. I turned on my heel with Ricky D following me back out. I nodded to the warden, and Ricky D tipped the man twenty-thousand for the clean up, and we headed home. I chose to walk, needing the air. Ricky D knew that it was moments like this as I walked down the streets of New York City, and was assaulted by the smells of garbage, sweat, cigarettes, food carts, and the hard-to-classify odors that were blasting on waves of frigid air out of subway grates, and building vents. I wished that I was just that confused girl wanting to be more, to do more…