Welcome to the The Slackmeister's main forum post (yay, ooc). Here, we will go over some rules, regulations and tips for all slackers out there. We encourage you all to sign your name below to pledge your allegiance to our cause, and you are more than welcome to share your alliance with the world. Slackers unite!

RULES & REGULATIONS

1. This one is very important. It's what can define a slacker and separate us from the plebs. You are never, ever allowed to gain more than two units a month. This rule can be bent a little if you are at less than 30, but otherwise there are no exceptions. Failure to follow this rule will result in you being dropped from the clan.

2. We all value our recorded time online. This is especially true for hands and leaders. With that in mind, slackers are not permitted to be online more than 20 hours per week. Yes, this number is still quite high, but the Slackstallmeister is no hypocrite and thus, 20 hours.

3. You are not allowed to post more than two sentences, in any forum, ever (from the time you start slacking onward). Writing true post shows you have put in effort, and slackers never put in any effort.

4. You must get complaints about your activity regularly, even if you must force a conversation to start off with "Are you happy with my slack?" If you get no complaints, you aren't slack enough.

5. Do all you can to be online as little as possible. This means, if you have done all you intend to do but then see an OC invite pop up, ignore it and go offline. They don't need your help bad enough.

6. Ignore all mass mails. These are mostly filled with garbage and any slacker who reads them is a phony. This rule goes for mass mails about shot reports, as well. Slackers have no time to fill those out. 

7. The masses need to know you are slack. You must put a URL or quote entry somewhere indicating you are slack. (eg: URL: Slackstallmeister) Linking this thread is also acceptable.

8. Be proud. We slackers are few and far between, and we must rejoice in our uniqueness. Slackers unite!

9. Play Rocket League. The best way to keep yourself slack, is to play Rocket League in the time you would normally play Mafia Returns. No bias here whatsoever.

 Now that the rules are out of the way, how about a little advice?

TIPS & TRICKS

1. Don't do jails, ever.

2. Don't do petties, ever.

3. Don't deal drugs, ever.

4. Don't do felonies, ever.

5. Don't fire your gun, ever.

6. Don't buy any perks, ever. 

7. Always be late to Durden spawns.

8. Never submit witness statements.

9. Never participate in game-wide events.

10. Never fill out your shot report in a timely manner.

11. Play Rocket League and you will naturally start slacking.

As you all can see, there was no bias in here at all. Nope. Just go play Rocket League and you will be golden. 

Any and all followers of The Slackmeisters, please sign your name below and follow the above rules. Any slackers who disobey even a single rule will be kicked from the group and will no longer be allowed to share their slack.

Thank you,

Slackstallmeister

What if I suck at Rocket League though?

Play it anyway! If you play it enough, you'll naturally get better. :D

That's awfully rude, ThatOneDude. My feelings are incredibly hurt. I'm not sure I'll ever smile again.

It's the thought that counts. ;)

I think I've already failed pretty much all of this :(

You aren't a slacker, Remy. Get outta here!

pfft you don't know me I will slack all day if I wasn't a slack I'd have 60 units and a hug from that cunt Kohler!

Sprechstallmeister appeared out of thin air inside the Slackmeister HQ - otherwise known as the shed outside of his mother's house. It's empty; nothing but cobwebs and dust fill the air. It had been empty for a long time, so this came as no surprise. With little time to waste, Sprechstallmeister stared straight at the rotting wooden floor and concentrated hard with the hopes of his fellow Slackmeisters hearing his words.

"Greetings, all! It has been quite some time since this little ol' shack has seen any activity, but I come to you all today with some very, very good news!

Our first order of business; The Slackmeisters are back up and running! Any new members wishing to join, well... I'm too lazy to tell you what to do. Read the rule board.

Our second order of business; we have a new member! @Tryllekunstner has been gracious enough to lend us his - or her? - mind, soul, body - all for the betterment of our amazing organization. It was he - or she? - who taught me how to use this piece of rotten wood to communicate throughout the space time continuum, and let all of my followers our members know of any urgent news.

This hereby concludes the yearly Slackmeister meeting. Slack bless you all."

Sprechstallmeister vanished into the floor for no apparent reason. He was too lazy to finish making this damn post all pretty. 'Twas the life of a Slackmeister...

Thank you for letting me stay here in this group!

I'm too lazy to put too much effort into this post sooooo. I love you ;) <3

This is right, Tyrel. This is how you should treat your leader; by loving them. You all should take note!

...Also, I love you too ;) <3

The return of auto correct as well, I'm guessing!

Auto correct has always been here, Sprechstallmeister! I don't think it'll ever return ;)

Are you trying to get kicked out of the group already, Tyrel?!

No! I want to stay a part of it :(

Considering how long it took you to respond, I have decided to grant your request. You may stay. You're obviously quite the slacker, and you are definitely my favorite ;)

Congratulations!