Moses had been up most of the night, working tirelessly to translate what He had been told by g0d the day before. (It could have been a bad dream after the night of pub hopping and partying the night before that, but we'll go with 'heavenly message from g0d Himself'.)

He laid out what He had so far.

1. Thou shalt not have any other Godfathers/Godmothers beside WiggleFanGirl4Lyfe.
2. Thou shalt not make a suit better than Makaveli.
3. Thou shalt not call g0d a fuckhead.
4. Thou shalt work every day of the week, to keep the tributes flowing, or be taxed. 
5. Honor thy Godfather, or thy Godmother, and Squishy above all others.
6. Thou shalt kill, as often as ye are able, at least once every hour.
7. Thou shalt stroke Esau's beard at least once a day.
8. Thou shalt pick thy nose, thou shalt pick thy friends, but thou shalt not pick thy friend's nose.
9. Thou shalt not bear false logs against thy Crew members.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor, but rather just kill the fucker and take his shit.

Then Moses looked upon it, that it was good, then fell back into a drunken stupor. 

I don't like these 10 commandments ...you will have to go back to the old ones

Sookie arrived at the bar for her morning cup of "coffee" when she noticed that Moses had never left from the night before. She realized that he had something in his hand as she looked closer she noticed it was a beer coaster with writing on it. So, she decided to take a closer look at it, The Ten Commandments (revised) and chuckled. She reached into her purse for a stick of gum and chews it quickly to make it more pliable and grabs the Coaster sticking the gum to the back placing it on the wall above his head for everyone to see. She wondered if Moses would notice it when he wakes from his drunken slumber in the corner booth. She takes her "coffee" to go and walks out of the bar still laughing.

I think you should have you shall not shave Esau's beard .... he might like someone to stroke it

Standing there listening to Moses reading out the ten commandments whilst stroking his beard, he catches Navent giving him the eye almost as if to say get the fuck off my beard. Immediately he stops stroking and walks over to Navent ashamed who then strokes it for him.

"Thy beard belongs to Navent only, they have claimed it for themselves and you need to go through them to get to the magical beard that increase life expectancy."

Rae frowns as the first commandment is spoken, "Ahem, I do have an issue with number one. I mean, WiggleFanGirl4Lyfe is alright and all... but can we please be realistic here?" she asked the crowd. 

Oh, hey, didn't see you there. The elderly gentleman with the gnarly teeth three houses down mentioned that pancakes were being served 'round these parts. Now, while this may be perplexing, I have no shoes. And that... That's pretty neat.

Coffinman rolls his eyes at the speaker and walks down the street.

Seeing the list The-Darkness chuckled at the 5^th commandment, everyone knew that the true highest gods of this world were Mario and Enkindle. The-Darkness continued down the street chuckling to himself about it,

"Thou shalt stroke Esau's beard at least once a day."

Esau may only want Navent to stroke his beard but apparently other parts of the body are free game... and just as magical!

Thou shall not direct one to go back working for Rayln when they never worked for Rayln.

Moses' head ached, badly. He struggled to open one eye, slowly, His head still flat against the bar table. His focus barely able to make out the few people who had gathered. He mumbled incoherently...

"Why the fuck....you're all (hic) in My bedroom....fuckin' perverts..."

His one eye closed once again as He slipped back into blissful dreamland, serenading the whole pub with His powerful snore.

R2D2 leaned heavily against a post, her right leg kicked up against it as she leaned back, she smoked a Cuban cigar as she listened to a revising of the 10 commandments. She nearly burst a gut when Moses finished and preceded to pass out.

She took a hefty pull from the cigar, and coughed slightly as the smoke left a charred taste in the back of her throat, she laughed again remembering number seven of the "Holy" 10, Thou shalt stroke Esau's beard at least once a day.

"I could possibly get on board with most of them, but I simply draw the line at number seven, Esau can stroke his own beard."

I guess im going to burn in hell for being too nice

I think we can all get behind a few of these.  

Now, can we pick and choose which ones we follow? 

Definitely love WiggleFanGirl4Lyfe, but Spike says I'm not allowed to covet any Godfather or mother besides him.  And he's perfectly pleasant to covet anyway.  He lets me pick out his clothes and everything.  The dress he wore yesterday was spectacular.  The bad thing is...he picks out my clothes too.  And the fishnets he made me wear....hurt like a bitch.  

As for #10 - I'm perfectly happy to take my neighbor's stuff, but I can't kill him.  That's just not nice.  I might, however, kill his dog if he keeps barking all night long.  

4, 5, and 6....I can really dig those.  As for kills, I only kill bums.  That's it.  Bums.  

Anyway, I like some of 'em, but I'd really like to pick and choose.  You think God will be mad if I don't follow all of 'em?  I'll say a few extra Hail Mary's and Our Father's.