In the outskirts of town there is a big building in a lengthy field. It used to be a mansion that belonged to an old man that went crazy. He had lots of money, but he started losing his mind little by little.

At the end of his life he was heard talking about the most bizarre things. He was heard spewing words like "internet", "keyboard", "Gangsta' Rap". He was very often seen twitching his face in the most bizarre ways and he was said it seemed as if he was trying to turn punctuation into words or feelings. Although how one can witness such a thing I wondered many times in the past while this man was still alive.

Many people around him told him he suffered from acute OOC'itis. At the time he did not know what they meant. He did know about a place called OOC Avenue but he never used to go there. He would just stand in the middle of the street babbling incoherent phrases while there were reportedly attempts from people over OOC Avenue inviting him to say the same thing over there so that people didn't think he was crazy. again, why would the same speech make sense in one place and not the other still escaped me at the time.

I got curious enough about this man to spend some time with him and get to know him. As I witnessed his episodes and asked around I started learning about this disease called OOC'itis and I tried to help the man. I guess it was too late as he never seemed to be able to recover. In his death bed he recognized how much I had done to try to help him even if it was to no avail. Moments before dying he said he would donate his mansion and his money to me if I promised I would turn the place in an OOC'itis Rehabilitation Center.

I of course accepted because, hey, it was easy money. I wasn't planning on keeping my word, of course. There were no witnesses and I had no intentions of taking on such a responsibility. However, the more I roamed these streets, the more it pained me to see how much OOC'itis had spread among us and I started feeling guilty about my decision. Well, ok, I just got annoyed as shit at some of the deranged people talking nonsense in the streets, but anyway since I had the means to try to do something about it, here I am: opening up this Rehab Center for all people suffering from OOC'itis.

This place can work in several ways. Everybody will be welcome to roam this place, although nobody will be allowed into a room that has a patient in recovery. As I witness examples of OOC'itis in the streets I may come back to this clinic, gather my patients around and explain to them in their own deranged language why that example is an example of OOC'itis and ways to correct or cure it. I will generously offer, free of charge, the use of the amphitheater I built to this effect to anyone who wishes to do the same and provide with examples of OOC'itis to teach them how to improve themselves.

We will also take walk in cases. One may come to the clinic and just ask if he/she is suffering from OOC'itis and how to treat themselves. So please, refer people you see suffering the ailment to this place. I am confident we can do no harm.

And in case you're wondering, yes, the old man DID want the Center to have his name but I said fuck it. If I'm doing the hard work, I'm taking the credit.

Crazy Nine send for his patients to come to the amphitheater for his first seminar on OOC'itis symptoms. As soon as everybody arrived, he begins.

OK, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming here tonight. There are certain words in certain contexts that immediately win you suspicious looks and scorn and will get you labeled as suffering from OOC'itis.

When you refer to being here as "a game" you are obviously having a twisted vision on reality. This very place we are in is as real as the bullets that so commonly fly out there on the streets from Mobsters killing comatose good for nothing bums. And they take their livelihoods VERY seriously. I cannot stress this enough: VERY seriously. so please don't insult them by calling their lifestyle a game. It's "their (our) way of life" or "our world". Many choices here, I just gave you a few.

Also the use of the word "post" and "thread" will get you the wrong kind of attention as 99% of the people that say those words do not refer to lamp posts of sewing and fabrics. You make comments and speeches. You do not post, you comment or speak. There are no threads in this world, there are speeches of records and transcripts of such events.

Also, you are not reading as much as you think while you walks these streets. You are mostly hearing and witnessing events. Your brain may process information as written words, but that doesn't that write now as you listen to me I am writing, am I right? No. You are listening to me, not reading me.

Having seen the look of confusion in the faces of many, he wonders if most of the patients may very well be lost causes.

OK, please speak up and tell me what I'm seeing here? Are these faces of panic or not understanding what I'm saying. If there are any questions, please speak up. Otherwise feel free to go back to your rooms and reflect on what has just been said.

He awaits the dreaded 'NICE STORY, WRITE US MORE' that was bound to hit the streets at some point this morning.

Ah... Thank you, Falcon. That IS indeed another symptom of OOC'itis. People who do this are actually unfolding themselves into split personalities or are separating themselves from reality. They say "nice story" while things are happening right under their noses. 

The reasons for this are varied. It could be that they are so sickened by the spectacle that they wish it was a story and not reality or it may be that they are so shy and insecure that they feel a spectator of their own lives and they feel incapable of fully living it.

In any case, the only way out of this is just acting life instead of merely commenting about it.

Might I say, having an acute case of OOCitis is not uncommon. It also happens to some of the greatest speakers of our time. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and as much as it is a disease, it is very curable. I have been known to fall into lapses of this very contagious disease, yet that does not mean I cannot speak in a creative and positive manner. It simply means I am not superhuman, I can catch what is the most contagious disease that happens to stalk our world.

Good luck in this Venture CrazyNine, I might possibly be dropping into your clinic from time to time when my OOCitis comes on strong.

Wow, what a neat...thread.

Q_Legacy covers his mouth and pretends to caugh

I mean, what a neat facility.

He looks around to check if anyone heard his slip of OOC'itis

I must say I have noticed references to this thing you mentioned called "internet" and I for one want nothing to do with it.  I say we just increase the speed of our postal service and it will serve me just fine.

Q_Legacy backs his way out of the building, afraid he might have already caught the disease

Budd stands up

"LOLZ"

Budd sees everyone staring at him, knowing that OOC'itis has never been in his family he was very concerned.

"Do you know if this infection is contagious?" cough "ROFLCOPTER"

Actually, it's extremely contagious, but it is easily treatable if you really want to be helped.

Budd, still standing, had noticed that proplr arount him were moving away. One person had stayed where he was sat and was muttering about "mobile phones" and "predictive text"

"please, ive had this problem for 2 days and its been wicked bruv, BRB."

budd started to walk out of the theatre when he stopped, and shouted out "YA MUM"

"ill do anything to get rid of it :P"

Mnirem stands up, ready to admit something.

"I was used to suffer from OOC'itis! I still technically do, but I have a bluetooth headset telling me what to say..."

Mnirem notices his mistake and quickly corrects it.

"I mean a tiny voice in my ear. Yeah, I know, weird, right? Like a concionce, or a tiny, smart person... LOL!"

Mnirem slaps his forehead, noticing the voice in his head isn't helping him.

"Stay away, my case is more contagious than the swine fl- I mean the lack plague!"

Tommy enters the rehab center and sees the OOC'itis patients.

I also heard these people think their in a game on the internet.

I will respectfully request we do not confuse our patient repeating the same symptoms over and over. I beg you all that if you wish to help, present examples that haven't been presented before, please. Or at least f you will repeat a symptom, do it in an original, descriptive and narrative way.

"I do remember that there is a cure, but it hasn't been tested legally. Basically, you keep them in isolations from the streets for 72 hours and scream at them every time that they show symptoms. Give them no food, don't let them sleep, and give them fresh air constantly. I know a friend who had it happen to them. He was cured, but he was never the same again."

Mnirem remembers the horrible twitch, the screaming, the fainting, he can never look at the man again.

M_Stracci jumps up and makes an annoncement.

"My father suffered from this, and he died with the problem uncured. I wish to work here and help the patients, that way they don't suffer the way he did.

A man once told me he was flying a jet...

Do you think there is room for him in your facility... He is suffering a very bad case of OOCitis, next thing you know he will be flying a real live bird or maybe a bike... who knows!

What?! Why would a guy be riding a bike?!?!?! This is madness!

Flying a bike... you can clearly see this man's a looney!

Oh, flying a bike. That sounds right.