ISSUE 2

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Conspicuous Chronicles
3. HellFire Column
4. Ages Pages
5. Mendacious Matters
6. Deceased Drollery
7. Credits

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Introduction

Alright, bitches. We're back for another issue of... *Untitled*. Now, we have some oxygen bandits floating around that are yet to figure out a few very important details about *Untitled*. One, it's not that we haven't found a name yet, we just don't want one. We don't need a witty name, a funny label, or a stupid joke to make our paper well. We have heart. We actually have a few hundred hearts, processed into the paper you have in your very hands. So stop asking about our name. Two, we are not an hourly, daily, or weekly paper. We write our shit and print it whenever we want. If that's not good enough, fuck off.

So, once again, welcome back. Take some time, find something you can put off til tomorrow, and have a read. We have current information on the most unimportant shit out there.

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Conspicuous Chronicles

STL is the Q, Philly is the V
V for a Virulent Vice

Godmother ScipitaRourke and Don -V- showed us how business is done. With food, free food. The two decided to meet in a local business, which probably scared the owner shitless. Imagine this showing up in YOUR shop: A local Don and the GodMother of your city walk in, followed by hundreds of bodyguards, each armed heavily. What the hell would YOU do? I'd serve em lunch. That's just what the owner did, and -V- took over as the underboss of Philadelphia. Congratulations, bud. We hardly give a shit.

The reason we bring this up, is to identify exactly how construed our idea of "Omerta" is. We have become so ignorant, or possibly arrogant, that we flaunt our city auths in the streets, waving flags and banners, throwing little chocolate candies at the police officers as we announce our newest CRIME ORGANIZATION. Yeah, that sounds pretty smart, no? That isn't the best way to go about things? Hmm... Food for though. Actually, chocolate candies for thought.

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Memba Whoring
No thanks

Yay! Finally, Deimne and his "strong arm of reason" have put member whoring out the window. You want to talk to a newbie? TOO FUCKING BAD. They come to you. That's the way business should be done, and that's how business WILL be done. Good job Deimne, if you want to earn the "tyrant" badge, you have to enforce something that 99% of the mobster population DOESN'T want already.
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Silent Godfather Takes a Tumble
Heh.

Godfather PedroRourke (who? Yeah, I know. He's almost as bad as Iota) was reportedly found, dead in his home. The police ran into his home, expecting a gunfight. They found Lucretia_Borgia, holding her pistol next to the dead skull of Mr. Rourke. The police dropped their guns immediately, allowing Ms. Borgia to exit the house without any trouble. No charges have been filed, despite 20+ eye witnesses. Yeah, she (he? it?) is that kickass.

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New Orleans Business Bonanza
What's a "bonanza"?

New Orleans Godmother announced that she would be sponsoring businesses in her city. At first, this seemed a bit peculiar, so I read into it. Kates is offering $1,000,000 for running a business in her city, for 24 days. Now, I'm gonna take this moment to teach you all what *I* learned about the mafia: The people make businesses, the people make money, and the mafia takes from that money. It's a fantastic cycle. However, Kates somehow believes it to go the other way; with people being paid to run a business. Sounds like a good deal, no? Well, from the public response to Kates' speech, I'd say there's very little activity stirring within the New Orleans business district, despite a hefty $1 million to anyone who shows up to work. Don't you think that's saying something?

This just goes along with an idea I've held for quite a while. It seems like, as a whole, Our Thing has lost its sense of greed. It's safe to say, that most of us make our biggest cash with the narcotics system. So, why not regulate that shit and make a quick buck? In my opinion, city heads are looking more for tourists and visitors, than cash bonuses.

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Gwarble Barble
Fuck Off.

Now, we know there has been an outcry for news coverage since the Creeper Daily went down. But, you can't possibly fill that void with "The Barble". Gwarble thinks he's so cool with his "Who we wish were dead", and his witty little catch phrases, but we've had enough. *Untitled* is officially waging war on The Fargle Schmargle. It's on.

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HellFire Column - Honey Coated

Ship Jumpers

Ship Jumpers are those who basically jump to another family when their family is in war or about to be destroyed. They do not just join any family, no, they join the enemy themselves. There is nothing I hate more than these traitors. They have no understanding of honour to one's family.

When you join a family you sign their rules and give over your life to them, is that not so? Or has families rules changed to "You will stay loyal with us until the Crew leader and hands die then by all means join our enemy and save yourselves." Now when I see low rankers doing this it does not bother me that much, sure it would be great to see them fighting til death or until their family is victorious but I do not put such high standards on them. As for high rankers, those made man and up, you have become part of the inner circle in your family, you ARE the family. I always say that a family is not destroyed until the last made man or up is dead.

It really bothers me to see these high rankers, these supposedly loyal members of a family quickly jump to the enemy's family the moment their crew leader is dead. You swore to stand by your family. YOU SWORE! Yet now you bastards spit on your family by betraying them.

Nothing makes me happier, to see mobsters still fighting when all is lost, when they know they will die, when everyone around them is dead and they have no one left and they still stay strong to that oath they swore.

What is truly disturbing is seeing these enemy crew leaders gladly accept traitorous scum into their ranks. Is it that they promote betrayal and dishonour? Do they only think about how many member s they have and they don't think who they are in fact letting into their family?

I would gladly accept these bastards into my family just so i can have the location on them to kill them. I quote Godfather Deimne when he says "The only way a made man or up leaves a family is in a coffin." So that would mean you for example being a made man are the family, so when enemies are planning to wipe out your family that means you are going down too! So pick up your gun and fight for your family, go out in style, die with guns blazing, have some honour for god sake, stand strong and keep fighting.

All you ship jumpers reading this now. I'm going to give you a set of instructions to follow, so follow carefully.
1. Pull out your gun
2. Aim it at your head
3. Pull the trigger
I think that is simple enough to follow.

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Ages Pages

Last issue we read about the life and death of probably the greatest mobster this world has ever seen. But now after searching long and hard for a descendent of Anita we can now regale you with an exact recount of one of the largest and most bloodiest wars to date.

***********
Team Good Guy War
by Ire

It was a typical night in the city of Chicago, the crime rate of the city was rising since SoundWarnings started to do his business there. As a good business man, in a very short period of time, he was able to take control of the drug properties of the city while his dealers kept constantly bringing him bags of cash and he made sure to keep those really well hidden. He was an ambitious man full of dreams, controlling the city of Chicago was just the very start, but according to his plans there was one family standing in his way.

He knew he needed to get rid of Anita and her family to reach the top and with that in mind, SoundWarnings, together with his RHM started making plans and also trying to gain allies to take down the Famiglia Librizzi. It was then that an old friend from Las Vegas, Dick_Gozinya, contacted Anita. He explained to her in detail what he heard, but warned her that there was more people involved, including his own RHW and a newer immigrant that Anita was training to be a RHM.

It was in the middle of confirming all the information, that SoundWarnings got to know Anita was preparing an attack. Quickly after that he declared war on Philadelphia after gaining support from Dick_Gozinya's RHW, Thunderbutton, who went rogue. Anita and Ulysses contacted their hitters and immediately started firing back, but they were already surrounded by rogues like Thunderbutton, BumbleBee, Saint_Stephen, LauraHunt, JimmyT and Sprozza.

With good guns on both sides the bodies started piling up, while Anita kept on following Thunderbutton. Almost a day has passed by and the majority of Anita's hitters were already gone, but still with Ulysses, IDM and Flash-Fire by her side, they kept on fighting, firing at every opportunity. The enemy kept on being protected at all times, even though ThunderButton had already missed a shot at Ulysses, Anita asked him to stay away from her and let her deal with the rogue, but Ulysses was not one to hide, seeing that Anita was stuck without being able to follow TB immediately, he took it on himself to go after her, it was then that she decided to take a second shot at him, but this time she didn't miss. The bullet passed right through his heart as he dropped to the ground.

At that very moment, everything went blurry for Anita. She has always praised the life of her family members, but losing Ulysses was hard to handle. He was everything to her, always supporting her, giving her strength when she felt weak and even doing the dirty deeds to keep her hands clean. He was the only person who knew how Anita truly felt about her life and the decisions she had to make everyday. She could have never chosen anyone better then him, because he was the best.

Anita went weak, after 7 months of hard work she looked around her, she saw everyone she loved dying, the streets were chaos, filled with disrespect of spoiled kids who took things too far, she felt the hate in every word and the laughter of her enemies, for a moment she felt like letting things go, but she fed off the love of her family and the hate of her enemies, she picked herself up and decided that she wouldn't stop until every single person was dead.

Going after ThunderButton, she saw Arnie, one of her beloved members in the same city. Knowing that TB had a personal vendetta against him, Anita asked him to fly away, as they couldn't arrange him with protection. Even though TB's goal was to kill Anita, she was sure that TB would shoot at Arnie instead of her, and so did Arnie. He looked at Anita and told her he wasn't moving, that his life would be worth it, because he knew that Anita would kill TB at that very moment.

Arnie was right. It was after 14.000 trials of killing TB (according to the gods) and after Arnie falling lifeless onto the ground, that Anita's bullets crossed TB's body taking away her life and also taking out all the hope of her enemies. However, that was not the end of the battle and the next target on Anita's list was SoundWarnings. It was during that night, that SoundWarnings put all those bags of cash to use and became the person with the most bodyguards at the time. This was already the second day of the war, Anita and SoundWarnings were constantly shooting at each other but the bullets were not going through due to a little small issue on the most recent world change done by the gods. After things went back to normal, Anita hit SoundWarnings on the first shot and as she looked around, it seemed like all her enemies were dead.

As she was preparing herself to go to her room and get a deserved rest, Anita noticed a couple more of her members in the obits, but the witness statement was quickly delivered by a1capon3. The city of New York had decided to enter the war, even though Anita had already killed everyone, so instead of going to bed, she immediately flew to NY and started to shoot at everyone until she found someone that wasn't protected, Joey_McBean.

It was shortly after that Kade decided to join the war and help Cacciatoressa. At that moment in time, several rogues were set up once again. Already counting with very few hitters, the fight continued and Philadelphia faced 2 more families and another 7 rogues. The enemies kept falling and on the third day of war, Anita had lost all of her hitters. It wasn't very long before Anita killed Cacciatoressa and Kade.

At this point, Scotland and the City of New Orleans were taking care of the rogues that had set up without permission, while Anita was after CatharisInclination, who was the only decent gun left of her enemies. It was already day 4 of the war. Anita was exhausted and ended up falling asleep in between shots while hunting Catharis, but Ulysses' son quickly woke her up so she could take another try.

She sat there facing this man, who was not able to maintain a decent attitude due to his hate. He kept on making fun of her and telling her that she would die by the gun of a gangster instead of his, because he was not gonna try her. Anita sat there waiting, and after 20 minutes, she saw Catharis fall to the ground by a gangster's gun, she smiled and thought to herself - karma is a bitch -.

So after 4 days of war, Anita and her family had faced 3 families and 13 rogues. Anita did lose all of her hitters, but it didn't take them long to rebuild the City of Philadelphia. A month after the TGG war, Don Anita met with the GodFather of Philadelphia and took over the position, once again maintaining her city as the most powerful.

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Mendacious Matters
What's going on?

Here's where we take the time to tell YOU what's happening. We'll tell you who we've seen, doing what. It's a crazy world out there, and we're your only source for up-to-date mendacious gossip.

TylerDurden
Remember the dipshit we talked about last issue? Well, he came back. At least this time his friends are learning how to shoot, and make their little visits a bit more interesting. However, we are still yet to find out what causes the uprising of this "Project Mayhem".

Mass Suicide
What's going on? We see people pulling guns on themselves like crazy. It seems MarcelloCaifano's and JackMacLeod's crews account for more than half of the daily suicide rate. So, what's going on? Why are all these people turning the gun on themselves? Well, we went to the graveyard, dug them up, and asked them. However, they seem to be very close with the 5th amendment. So, I guess we'll never know.
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Deceased Drollery
RIPGRHS

PaulVidi - This guy has absolutely no luck. His father was killed from a gun malfunction, and apparently he was given the gun in his father's will. Upon testing it out... yep. It backfired. If there's a "Shit Luck" award out there, he's won it twice over.

Shitbrick - Bah. Las Vegas and Chicago's takedown of Detroit was near perfection. They had nearly taken out the city when out of no-where, Shitbrick is killed by a fellow crew member.

Calibre - Calibre came out of a 3 month coma, and was apparently in a frenzied state of mind. He ran out of the hospital, and started shooting at everything in sight. What's funny, is despite his high rank among the Chicago mafia, no one made anything of it. They just stood there and took the shots, which, thankfully, missed.

All of Detroit - Chicago and Las Vegas put the pwnt down on Detroit. Nothing else to it, sadly.

AvonBarksdale - Avon, despite the shitton of BGs, somebody got ya. Mr. Barksdale was reportedly seen handing out fliers at the local docks, as flurries of immigrants flowed in. When the Levenstein family found out about it, they wanted nothing of it. RIP Avon.
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Credits
Thanks Guy

OST takes her time and reads the whole paper, skipping a few felonies and petties here and there to fit it in.

Well. I thought I liked the first *Untitled* but this one is much better. Keep up the awesome job. 

She leaves the paper for the next person to read and takes her coffee to go. 

The reason we bring this up, is to identify exactly how construed our idea of "Omerta" is. We have become so ignorant, or possibly arrogant, that we flaunt our city auths in the streets, waving flags and banners, throwing little chocolate candies at the police officers as we announce our newest CRIME ORGANIZATION. Yeah, that sounds pretty smart, no? That isn't the best way to go about things? Hmm... Food for though. Actually, chocolate candies for thought.

My understanding has always been that we OWN the streets. That our power and influence have cleared out certain avenues in which we can come together and discuss our shared business. Did you see any cops respond? Me neither!

And thank God we've cleared out these particular streets, otherwise our thought processes and vocal chords may deteriorate even more than they already have, leaving the eight cities full of stupid, mute, automatons.

I understand that it's fun to write snappy critiques, but can we please try to keep one of the foundations of our existence out of the crosshairs? And haven't you proved my entire point by publishing a newspaper with stories about the very events you're critiquing for existing on the streets? Or are you just "ignorant, or possibly arrogant" as well?

New Orleans Godmother announced that she would be sponsoring businesses in her city. At first, this seemed a bit peculiar, so I read into it. Kates is offering $1,000,000 for running a business in her city, for 24 days. Now, I'm gonna take this moment to teach you all what *I* learned about the mafia: The people make businesses, the people make money, and the mafia takes from that money. It's a fantastic cycle. However, Kates somehow believes it to go the other way; with people being paid to run a business. Sounds like a good deal, no? Well, from the public response to Kates' speech, I'd say there's very little activity stirring within the New Orleans business district, despite a hefty $1 million to anyone who shows up to work. Don't you think that's saying something?

This just goes along with an idea I've held for quite a while. It seems like, as a whole, Our Thing has lost its sense of greed. It's safe to say, that most of us make our biggest cash with the narcotics system. So, why not regulate that shit and make a quick buck? In my opinion, city heads are looking more for tourists and visitors, than cash bonuses.

Allow me to return the favor and teach you what *I* learned about the mafia. That people make businesses, which can serve as fronts for more illicit activities and make money. That the business district is one of the most valuable parts of this experience we share, and that I believe it is sorely neglected by the majority of people. That people visiting the business district is a no-lose situation.

I am using my influence as Godmother of New Orleans to try to revitalize said business district by using my common sense. The more people that come into New Orleans, the more money I make. The higher the quality of my business district, the happier I am. Your last statement, "city heads are looking more for tourists and visitors, than cash bonuses" is incredibly ignorant of the facts of how our cities work, since they're essentially the same thing.

For the record, I am pleased with the progress that the New Orleans business district has made- and I know for a fact of multiple businesses waiting until closer to the February 16th deadline to have their grand opening.

In conclusion, while I usually like to take the time to offer a retort when I believe a particular paper has erred, I'd like to genuinely thank you for bringing your efforts to the streets. The MacLeod line has always supported endeavors in this field- my father grew up reading old issues of Tea Time, just as I did with The Detroit Chronicle. It takes a great deal of work to pull it off consistently, and I congratulate you for your achievements.

As much as I love to see clever, well-thought-out retorts to my periodical, I'm afraid yours is a bit unwarranted. We made damn sure everyone understood exactly what *Untitled* was bringing to the streets, long before the second issue was in the works. Allow me to repeat from our first issue:

Legalities

We understand that some of the things we've printed may, or may not be, controversial. For this reason, we'd like to discourage those easily offended from reading our next issue. You've gotten a taste of *Untitled* (pretty nasty taste), and if you don't like it, don't read anymore. We're here to bring you completely untrue facts of things that may/may not have happened (biases are included, no extra charge). So, if at any point you feel this newspaper is less than exemplary, we suggest you not pick up another issue, ever again. It's only going to get better (worse?).


In my opinion, that's pretty self-explanatory. As for the cops, we've bribed or killed enough that they stay off the New York streets. We don't even need cover business to front OUR illicit activities, as the cops know damn well to stay away.

Grabbing a copy of the *Untitled*, Quirinus eagerly skims over the contents.

Well...thank you Mux! I did indeed read the Legalities of the last issue and I know exactly what you mean in this issue, you sly devil. 

Staring off into the distance, he remains silent for some time before mumbling

Or at least, I think I know...

Drunk Floyd stumbles over towards the newspaper stand and stops, throwing-up along the way.

Looking for something to wipe his mouth with, he notices a piece of paper with no title next to The New York Post.

Floyd grabs the paper with no title and wipes his mouth before purchasing an old edition of The New York Post.

Floyd looks at the newspaper stand owner and says

I didn't know you had paper towels as well.

Floyd grabs a couple more, knowing his azz we need wiped, as well, damn Moonshine gives him the bubble guts

Floyd then wonders was that actually a paper towel (newspaper?)

Yet being drunk as usual, everything that just happened could be "COMPLETELY UNTRUE FACTS OF THINGS THAT MAY/MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED"

I'm not offended by your publication, Mr. Mux- on the contrary, I rather enjoyed it. I'm confused as to how a response to a published work can be considered "unwarranted", but if you're going to print "completely untrue facts of things that may/may not have happened", I hope you wouldn't begrudge me throwing in my own two cents for a postscript?

And I'm glad we've resolved the issue that the cops are off the streets- certainly clears up the confusion regarding street speeches raised in your article. As for New Orleans, we just keep our cops distracted with money, liquor, and tits. Less messy that way... usually, at least. Though I'm certainly impressed that you've managed to have drug fronts without the actual fronts!

In all serious, Mr. Mux, if you're going to publish a well thought out publication like this (GRHS Reaper Daily), you should expect a response to it. That's why we publish things, no? As I've said before and will say again... you have a good thing going here. I, and many others, enjoy seeing it in the streets even if it does dwell behind a veil of a disclaimer. Keep up the good work- I look forward to the next issue.

We understand that some of the things we've printed may, or may not be, controversial. For this reason, we'd like to discourage those easily offended from reading our next issue.

For this reason, i havent commented on your last issue... but since you are bringing it up... i will go with a long shot and comment on this one.

I am assuming from this... you are only open to positive critics. I applaud the effort put into this paper Concigliere Mux... but thinking a controversal paper would'nt tick some people off and make them comment on it is rather wishfull thinking. A paper is always bound to get negative commentary... no matter how thick they are. As for me, i applaud the effort, but i dont totally agree on all the facts. But since you are'nt encouraged to hear negative comments, you may ignore mine! I tend to think that a good writer would want to hear comments... good or bad.

Keep it up. I love a paper which pisses on other peoples chips.

It's about time one returned to the streers I suppose. We cannot have all this cissy reporting stuff going on now can we?

This paper takes no prisoners.

HOWEVER - I am greatly offended by your comments on Mr. Tyler Durden.  Obviously you haven't heard the first rule of Project Mayhem. 

In any case - this is a fantastic paper worthy of its name.  Cheers.

I love this paper.It is like a breath of fresh(and sometimes toxic and sick)air .Hope to see more issues.

RIP AvonBarksdale.

This was a semi-good read. Nice Work.

Another very good read. Too bad one does not know when the next issue is. I only hope that next time they bother putting the number of the issue. I wouldn't want to walk by a new edition thinking it's an old edition for lack of a number.

To get something straight here "We're here to bring you completely untrue facts of things that may/may not have happened" this little disclaimer of ours may be interpreted a bit differently by people. Basically, we are saying is that not everything we write in our paper is 100% true and the majority is our OWN opinion. We gather excessive amounts of information from the grunts we send out around to country, some of these grunts, not even New Yorkers. These grunts return to us with whatever they have gathered, and then Mux and I put it all together, add our own opinions and some humour to make it a more enjoyable read. I am very happy to see people becoming fond of our paper and I'm pleased to see you, GodFather Kates, are among them.

"You have a good thing going here. I, and many others, enjoy seeing it in the streets even if it does dwell behind a veil of a disclaimer." We created all these disclaimers for a just cause; to prevent arguments about any article we write. We give people fair warning that they might not like what they are about to read. I have always expressed my opinion on whatever I want to, but I will ALWAYS retain a respectful attitude. We have the paper checked by our higher-ups to make sure we don't cross that line into utter disrespect.

It is true we do not care when people respond with what they think about our paper. We state our opinion and then let you all discuss it amongst yourselves. Now, normally, I wouldn't come here to spark some sort of discussion, especially not with people of substandard intellect like MississippiMobFloyd here, but considering you have put an effort to respond to our paper then I shall take time to respond to you Godfather Kates.

Now, in regards to our opinion on your business district idea, Mux and I found it very intriguing to see you approach a new way of running things. As said in the paper, it was my understanding that businesses pay the mafia not the other way around. Now I have thought long and hard about your idea, and it may quite possibly prove to be a success, or could just end up costing you money. But kudos to you for bringing a new idea to these streets. I'd rather see a godfather coming up with ideas to improve their city, unlike some current godfathers or "city heads" who seem pretty content in doing nothing at all, not improving their city, or bringing anything to the table to improve our way of life.

Now I feel I have responded to your thoughts Godfather Kates, if not then please tell me. But now I would like to address my own issue. I have always considered "Untitled" as a helper paper. If you are not sure what that means, well basically; considering we say a lot of what people are thinking but just too afraid to say it, we show you higher ups what are some of the issues in the world today that you may not be aware of. I'm sure you read the "Mass Suicide" where we reported on several suicides reported from those two families, one of which resides in New Orleans.

This topic was not brought into the paper until maybe one hour before we went to print, mainly because one of those grunts I was talking about handed me some very interesting information regarding one of those suicides. We were quickly to add the topic in the paper but I was concerned that maybe you, Godfather Kates, would be a bit on the defensive when we call out a crew from your city. But you did not, and this intrigues me more.

Now, like I said, I consider "Untitled" a helper paper, by providing information that city heads may not know about. So since you came here to respond to some of our issues addressed in the paper and I thought I would respond with something of my own. For you see, that grunt of mine was able to find the suicide note of that certain member from a New Orleans family. I refrained from putting it in the paper but I will address it here. The note said: "My CL won't discuss anything with me, and is never around the HQ, and I just hate this crew." Intriguing no?

A point I'm trying to raise here as well, is there are a lot worse things Mux and myself could print on our paper but don't. The excessive amounts of information we receive is quite over whelming to be sure. For future reference if you have a complaint or wish to respond to something address to by our paper then by all means send me a mail and I may if I find the time respond to it. Just be happy we are not a paper with reporters searching through people's dustbins and drawers on a nightly basis.

Darth Torin sets down the newspaper.

"Finally, something worth reading."

Nicely read, Gordon leaves the newspaper on the gate bench while thinking..

Mux.. *Untitled*.. Can't wait for the next... Should be dramatic!

I really like the paper you seem not to be afraid of the cpeople you tick off please write another one i love waking up to you'r paper.

sorry people type o

Pooh_Bear,

To begin, I never demanded my thoughts be responded to- I merely heard the opinion your paper put forth and, disagreeing, wished to reply with my own. If I was demanding a response there would no be vagaries.

I find your characterization of being a "helper paper" that can "show you higher ups what are some of the issues in the world today that you may not be aware of" as interesting, considering that your staff consists of a Consigliere CL, a Capo RHM, and a Made Man in a Godfather crew... all "higher ups", yourselves.

Now, regarding the issue of "mass suicides". I find it interesting you refrained from mentioning this before, but find it appropriate to do so now. What prompted the change?

Previously, I had refrained from commenting because even though I took issue with your "coverage" of "mass suicides", it was nevertheless a fact that JackMacLeod has had a few of his associates suicide. I did not respond because it did not cross the line of being disrespectful and, even if incorrect, was attempting to make a valid point.

Before I continue, let me be entirely clear in saying that I find your latest reply, in which you anonymously allow someone to libel my Underboss, to be disrespectful. Rather than respectfully provide my own opinion, as I previously did, I strongly condemn your statement and quotation as horseshit.

Not necessarily because it's not true, mind you. I don't doubt you found someone who believes that. And you were correct in keeping it out of your paper, since anonymously insulting a crewleader and questioning their abilities is the sort of thing people generally realize is stupid and apologize for.

But now that you've raised it, lets examine the issue more in depth. And look at actual facts, as opposed to the rantings of a jilted Goomba, or whoever the hell mailed you. The obituary section currently extends back roughly 9.5 pages, or a few days before your paper went to print. So yes, here we go with actual facts, gathered from the entirety of those pages:

Suicide Numbers By Crew:

Unsponsored: 6
MarcelloCaifano: 3
JackMacLeod: 2
CrazyNine: 2
TheDean: 2
-Lana-: 1
Cryptic: 1
-V-: 1

Yes, JackMacLeod has a couple suicides. So do TheDean and... CrazyNine?! But that's the family you're RHM to! How embarassing. Intriguing, even.

Or not. Maybe the simple fact of the matter is that, while a pattern of suicides can certainly be indicative of a leader of low quality, it sometimes just means you had a couple idiots who shot themselves, especially in family that is just starting up. I have no reason to doubt CrazyNine's quality of leadership (other than the lack of discretion by his RHM in this case), so I'm concerned why you think it's remotely appropriate to publicly do so with my Underboss.

Maybe you should consider that even the most dedicated leaders sometimes have medical and family concerns that can prevent them from responding to every Gangster or Goomba in their crew who feels like chatting.

Maybe you shouldn't print the words of someone who, by suiciding, shows they really don't understand what our way of life is all about. Nevermind the fact that their major complaint is "my boss wont pay attention to me so I'm sad". Perhaps they should have signed up for a church social instead?

And if "Just be happy we are not a paper with reporters searching through people's dustbins and drawers on a nightly basis." is a threat... then it is a foolish one. I fail to see how me providing an alternate take on my own policy in my own business district should be conducted in mail, rather than in public, when questions about them were raised publicly. The fact that me doing so could somehow result in me being threatened with further libel by a RHM is even more ludicrous.

Your judgment in saying "by all means send me a mail and I may if I find the time respond to it" is rather poor, as well.