I believe I will have The Reapers next of kin request an interview for next weeks issue

That would be a grand idea!

Thank you for providing the evidence I couldn't be bothered to look for... just a heads up for next week, you'll want someone following Ms Kates around for a few days.

Hell, it's Mardi-Gras apparently, she's got to do something retarded this week. It's the law.

If someone could summarise each section and then put this into smaller sections I'd appreciate it greatly.

To be honest though, I did read the tribute to MattGordano, what a star he is! Bravo chap, bravo I am pleased to see you got a mention for your efforts!

Overall Death Likelihood: Crayons

I must stop letting Bleu attempt to write his misspelled name in the HQ, those Crayons will be the death of me!

-Lana- - The Montreal Connection is an established syndicate within New York headed by husband and wife team -Lana- and -TonySperio-. I'm giving you this synopsis as I'd never heard of them either.

Overall Death Likelihood: 1/10 - More chance of seeing the 'MafiaReturns Olympic Sprint' Squad at the next games than her snuffing it.

This one made me laugh! It is funny you are'nt mentioning the LHM. Why? I would say it is because of my big mouth hehe... Well, i actualy take pride in this. As of -Lana- and -TonySperio-... now i am not going to talk in their place. If they dont feel like talking? Do they really have to? I would say no... if freedom of speach is essential... the lack of it also is equaly. The important thing is... the family is taken care of and so are all the issues within the family. And... no one can blame them for protecting what we call the Omerta.

Personaly, if i was looking for a family... Lana's family would be the kind i am searching for. Low profile and perfectly organised. This family's the best around! I would say that would be the main reason in becoming the next target... since "the next target" seems to be the topic you are referring to here.

On a positive note...

New York occupied St Louis and feasted upon any local residents, with all the self control of Gaius when he recounts the loss of someone special in floods of tears in the streets. The Barble was in the thick of it, living up to our *title as the best journalists since records began, but it was MattGordano who was the real star of the show. The way he ducked the shooters regularly available to be shot, repeatedly asked if he could shoot fellow NewYorkers and furiously announced his successes to anyone in ear shot, was beyond admirable. Awe-inspiring.

As a popularity contest... i guess Lana's family goes without saying. She does'nt talk much, but the results of her faithful members speaks for themselves. Well done Matt! I would like to thankyou Garble for pointing this out.

Of course i am saying well done Matt... because he had the descency to ask. Others would of gone and shot them to obtain personal gain. In asking, he is helping his family and preventing himself from doing a stupid mistake. He was proud of his hits, can you really blame him? So he talks to much, who cares. From what i am reading, the lack of speach was Garble's issue concerning -Lana-'s family... now what, someone talks too much? And in order to gain success from NY... New Yorkers did'nt really have a choice but to shoot each other at the end. So Matt decided to ask! Well done Matt! That is being classy!

Thank you Garggle or Grabhole whatever the hell your name is.  Thanks for wasting my time with this fantastic piece of crap you call a paper.  Yeah it was good...to whipe my ass with!!! And that's as close as I am going to get to giving you a compliment on this paper.

No really though I thought it was great. I liked it and keep up the good work. ; )

SneakyRat, when it comes to talking about whom you have killed-

We have a little thing called Omerta.

I agree _____. But by putting this in our paper... is it respecting our Omerta. That is my issue with papers... some things go a little too far.

About MattGondano... we dont encourage shouting about his killings. And he was advised for our future you can rest asure. Omerta is always our main priority! That is all i have to say about this!

Great edition. I'm liking it more and more. I just hope you don't find any more pictures of me in a sailor suit. The amount of ladies throwing themselves at me was almost unbearable as it was.

The amount of ladies throwing themselves at me was almost unbearable as it was.

I never knew "zero" to be an almost unbearable amount.

*RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE*

Nice read. Thanks Gwarble.

I'm sure you can handle your "zero" just fine Matterhorn. You've been used to it your whole life.

Ba dum - tish!

This was not bad at all, I laughed a few times good job on putting this together.

Ninetta saunters into the room, looking about as she seats herself. She takes off her cloak and hangs it over the back of the chair.   Fishing around in her shopping bag, "Ah, there it is."  She pulls out her newspaper and begins to unfold it slowly.  "Dang," She cries "It's riddled with holes." 

Flips through the pages of Barble Issue V

Very good read Gwarble and team, I particularly enjoy the death likelihood of  the leaders. :)