Gio steps to the soap box to let every know about a new news paper as if we need another one.

Hello every body there is a new paper comming to town. It's got all the bells and whistles full of controversy and plenty of drama. Some sad stories funny peoms. We even have get to know your fellow mafioso not going to tell what that is but oh you will love it. we have real horoscopes from our staff of wizards just kidding but the reason i came here today is because we are missing a few things.

I need three made men to step forward if they are interested in giving a few thanks and praises to thier leaders and also to be recognized for thier promotion and position.

Also if you have an issue please do feel free to give an anonymous nick name and drop it in my mail box. Then flip to the Advice section to see if your problem has been solved.

Further more if you have an article you wish to have published please do not hesitate to send it to me I will pay a small sum of cash for a peice of your mind, starting at 5k.

lol I can't belive I misspelled the headline well that says a thing or two about the paer i mean er... Paper.

I really, really am not trying to be an asshole when I say that if this flier is any reflection of what the quality of the "paer" will be, then I will not be interested in reading it.

Any newspaper needs proper proof reading. I hope that by then you get an editor. Good luck in your endeavor.

Im looking forward to it..make sure its better than Gwarble

Thank you and no offense was taken CrazyNine your right. I do want to say that I've only had an hour of sleep and i'm dealing with the death of a family member While trying to do a paper with no columnist.

However I'm sure you all don't want to hear excusses, but on a more positive note this news paer will be more than good i assure you i've been working on this issue alone for three days and it may not come until later today or some time tomorrow.

I can say that this paper will have actual news and keep people comming back for more.

I hope you are successful with your paper.  I would say this.  It sounds like you're dealing with quite a bit right now, and need a little more time to resolve some outstanding issues.  Why not wait until you have a columnist and more time to announce the launch of a new paper.  Launching the paper when you aren't ready is not the best start.  A first impression is often what people remember. 

That's my advice for the day.  That's free...this time.

Good luck with the paper.  I look forward to giving it a shot.

Gwarble. Shelly. Get your gum shield in and your gloves on.

No need Hoopi, this seems like it will be a mistyped highbrow paper instead of the low brow paper for the common man you help produce.

I look forward to reading about your paper in the next issue of the Gwarble.

Oooo, a new newspaper, I wonder how long this one will last, and what will Gwarble say? 

I cant wait to see the first issue

Anything is better than the Gwarble.

Even the diseased rotting corpse of BrianRourke? Surely you jest.

Even the diseased rotting corpse of Brian Rourke gets more women than Matterhorn. Which is why he looks to a Yeti to fulfill him sexually.

After I supplied countless millions to your bodyguard fund, this is how you repay me? Consider yourself on notice.

Notice for avalanching on your face.

~M~atterhor~N~

I think it is wonderful we have so many budding journalists. Perhaps they should work together and orchestrate a paper in which they each provide different sections daily. Or perhaps he plans on having a more serious paer (yes I know I mispeeeled that) for the masses that report actual events and not a lot of comedy routine. Perhaps it may be a hit.... I shall wait and see.

Turns to Hoopi's section in the Gwarble.

Generally the more serious papers are less popular. AFter a Hard day criming there is nothing more I like than to be able to sit and chickle at a Papers terrible writers (Yes I mean the Gwarble Barble).

Can't wait to die to that Crayon anytime soon!

I'll be honest, sometimes the articles write themself.

I cant say i agree with you here _______. Former Godmother Marietta ( god rest her soul) 's paper was truly inspiring... and... extremely popular. How i long to see another edition that stands up to this type of standard. But... the past is the past and now is the present. We never know!

For all who wish to know if the paper is a serious one or a make me happy it's...

You'll have to wait and see.

Gio' whistles his way down the street listing to the jokes and chatter from the soon to be readers. It's all music to his ears.

I'm not a soon-to-be reader. I just came here to insult Matterhorn.