Calling all Comedians:

Before too long I will be opening up a Comedy Club in the New York business District.  What I need is some Comedians to come and perform at my club.  I am currently holding open casting for the positions.

Requirements:

Good Role Play skills: This isn't one of those show up and post a joke threads.  What I want is some people to write up a well thought out Stand Up act, RP the jokes, RP the setting, RP everything!  All those that perform in my club will be held to a strict minimum time.  I don't want someone to show up with a pathetic "I show up and tell some jokes get a few pity laughs and leave"  Well thought out performances please.

These are paid gigs.  That's right, if I decide that you have a good enough skit to perform I will pay you to do so!  Pay will be based on the quality off the skit, the demand for you to perform again, and how the club is doing in general.

For all those interested, shoot me a mail and we'll talk specifics.

Note: There are no limitations to your performance.  Please keep it within the MafiaReturns community guidelines.  Include the crowd in your performance, tell quality jokes, use personal experience, make the people laugh and want to come back!

I volunteer Matterhorn, if only so I can throw tomatoes at him and boo him off the stage.

I'd volunteer RichardEnnebocks, but you've just seen his best work.

I'm totally stealing your printing press now.

`~!@#R#@!~`ichardEnnocks.

Spelt your name wrong there :S

I would like to be the first to thank you two for spamming my thread.  While I go out to find alternate forms of business, you can't seem to help spoiling the thought.

Bravo.

What was initially an innovative thread has now turned into the breeding ground of yet another bullshit-palooza.  If you wish to have your mindless jammering heard then feel free to make your own thread to do so.  Don't go spoiling another person's good intentions for your own slight amusement.

Thank you

Bullshit-palooza?!?

Count me in!

I don't see how this in any way has detracted from your thread.

The fact it has more responses and is more likely to remain in a more prominent position for a greater length of time as a result means that it is more likely to attract attention. Not to toot mine or RichardEnnebocks' horns (easy) I think you'll find our posting here is also more likely to cause people to look in on this thread that may otherwise not have.

But, I'll gladly observe your wishes and won't post in this thread any further.

I'm greatly looking forward to your establishment and the talent you attract performing there. I will keep an eye out for your Comedy Club in the New York business district.

~G~warble.

Gosh Advantage. You can save your money and write your own skit now that will have people rolling around the aisles of your club.

The skit opens with some one calling for the funny members of the community to start producing comedy for a new club in New York. Some of the more outspoken comics in the community start spitballing in the way that comics do, that often times leads to one of them writing just the sort of skit that you are ask for.

And then BANG. Punch line. You tell them to fuck off. Bravo.

Good luck with the new business venture. I just hope you haven't shot yourself in the foot right from the get go there.

I'd apply, but I don't think you're ready for this jelly.  I don't think you're ready for this.  (Cos my body's too bootylicious for you babe.)

CrazyNine bursts into tears laughing.

Oh, my god! Advantage! Hire Felicity, please. You can't deny that she's an excellent comedian. I haven't laughed so hard in a long while...

I have an entire stand-up segment already written about CrazyNine's romantic life, if you need me to audition.

Topical humour; what the fuck's that all about?

CrazyNine's love life? Must be only a few seconds long then.  Doesn't meet the criteria.  If you were to come up with something on the time before he had any love life... well I don't know that may be too long.

Sorry CN, you're just too easy of a target in the love field!

Yeah, you guys talk because you'd looove to get a piece of this.

What I'd love is for my severe night blindness to kick in right about now.

Quick, CN, take off your shirt!  That'll make any woman go blind

Advantage, I think you watched Twilight just a few times too many...

(This is OOC, I can mention Twilight, right? :p)

You can't mention twilight. Ever.

I'd apply, but I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this. (Cos my body's too bootylicious for you babe.)
Reply by: Felicity at Mar 01, '10 01:43

Excuse me Felicity! MINE is the only bootylicious jelly around here!