At six foot six, and a hundred tonnes, the undisputed king of the slums steps forward.

Never let an opportunity go to waste, that's what I say. 

It appears I have arrived at these streets at quite an opportune moment, there is some kind of war going on. Now, I'm sure there will be ample discussion about the who's what's whys and wherefores later, but that is for another discussion.

I have the luxury of being guaranteed health for the next 24 hours, which, it seems, could be considered an asset just at the moment.

As such, I am opening a bank, should the banking services be required beyond that (which I doubt, really) then I shall hand over the regns to my son who will also be blessed with this immunity from bullets. The operation of the bank is simple.

Send me a deposit, of whatever amount you like. Follow that with a mail to me detailing the deposit this will look something like "You transferred $4,000,000 to Sheriff_Fatman" and a password.

Should the unthinkable happen and you don't survive the war, simply leave instructions with your next of kin to mail me with the password, and your money shall be returned... less a fee of 2%.

What's stopping you from giving people the shaft, right in their rusty sheriff's badge?

I suppose nothing... beyond the longevity of my next of kin.

People around here tend to have long memories, and should my descendants wish to achieve anything in the future it would be unwise of me to steal from those who use this service.

I deposited a large sum of cash into the vault of the Sheriff, and I have every confidence that it'll be returned to me, less the holding fee of course.

Of course, he may just blow the cash on hookers and smack. Either way, someone wins!

Given the current state of the war... i.e. it's over. All monies will be returned immediately, thus completing this exercise in futility.

Many thanks to my two customers, who have between them earned me a whoppping $12. I shall spend it wisely... possibly on hookers and smack.