Wars normally come with stories attached. The facts come out, people debate them and somewhere between the two sides being presented the third side, the truth, starts to emerge.

Well, despite what has been discussed to date... all this nonsense of $20m fines, killing of rule breakers and what not, it's time for me to tell the Dirty Little Sekrit of it all.

One person was responsible for this entire war. Acting as the true puppet master, she put into action a chain of events that caused us to emerge at this current position. I'm normally not one to share this type of valuable information (*lies), but I've decided to make an exception this once to give a masterclass in pulling of strings and manipulation of events to all concerned.

So, this little lady, for the sake of the story we'll call her Miggle, saw something she wanted. She craved this object more than anything. She was a determined little thing, so once she set her eyes on it, she knew it was going to hers. Mockingly, she joked about it daily, in full view of everyone in a state of divine lunacy. Frequently she would be heard mocking the owner, lets call him Johnathan, of how she would steal his prized fort and make it hers.

Little did poor Johnathan know, she was serious. Dirty scary deadly serious. Her master plan began to emerge. Miggle knew that just attacking this man would never work. He was a clever chap, well versed in the art of fort stealing, he was a scouser after all, so would have twarted her efforts if it was a direct attempt. She needed to create a distraction, something to muddy the waters and provide a facade for the true events about to transpire.

I now start to piece together the pieces of the jigsaw that lead to the recent war. Please note, these are the true (false) reasons for the war, not like the lies (truth) which has previously been put forward. It's a complicated and twisted tale, so please do pay attention. This isn't the Barble you're reading, so turn your brains to 'ON'. Names will no longer be protected, so our protagonists shall begin to emerge.

DirtyLittleSekrit had her plan. With the help of a certin Squishy J. Creamcheese, she set up a trap in the Monkey Cage headquarters. In PhelixTheSphinx's office, a can of root beer was carefully set up next to his ledger of casion takings. She knew the man had a fanatical obsession with checking his winnings, so knew this part of the plan was flawless. Phelix arose from his slumber, it was 3p.m. on a Tuesday so slightly earlier than his normal time, and went straight for his trusty ledger. As he grabbed it, the root beer attacked. It was more bear than beer! It landed on Phelix's lap top, doing terrible damage.

With Phelix out of action, he was now busy caressing his lap in his room even more than was normal for him, Deimne had a problem. His family needed an active left hand man. DirtyLittleSekrit knew the way Deimne thought and knew exactly where he would turn. Sherminator would be made slanty. She knew this as he was a German and easily confused, so the minute Deimne asked him to step in as LHM he would instantly go cross eyed and all slanty faced.

As everyone knows, the minty Sherminator goes slanty... be afriad, be very afraid. It is the start of a chemical reaction which causes mass insanity in the world. The minute it happens, war is comming. This is exactly as DLS has expected, what she had counted on and it meant her dream fort was getting closer. She knew this part of the plan carried risks. Sherminator had a flaw, a very serious one. He had a morbid fascination with guns. He played with them, constantly. It was often claimed that his father was a gun, but these claims have been disproven... his true father is Barry White. But, even the high risk of Sherminator shooting himself didn't manage to save our hero Jono. Luck just wasn't with him.

So, with Sherminator in place as LHM, the inevitable war happened. Lots of people died, some true legends lost to our world forever (GRHS), but none of this mattered. The only aim, the only reason, the total justification of this war was achieved... DirtyLittleSekrit stole the fort in LA!

So, not that you know the truth (blatent lies), it's time for our story to take its next step.

DirtyLittleSekrit shall be making her fort in LA her new home!

The lady has worked tirelessly for me in New York, proving her worth time and time again. I consider it an honour to be able to allow her to make the next step and set up as the city lead in LA. She will do her new city and this thing of ours proud!

Before she leaves, I have one final piece of advice.... don't let anyone steal your fort!

Congratulations DLS, you've earned it!

Congrats and Goodluck!

Now that is something... congratulations DirtyLittleSekrit. L/A has gained a great leader! I wish you good luck and a very long life in LA!

That is one heck of a truth..

I felt bad for PJ but it was equalize by the promotion of DLS..

Who says, Deimne is tyrant?, much like a comic to me

congrats DLS and good luck in LA

Congratulations DirtyLittleSekrit, I wish you the best in Los Angeles. I can't wait to see what you have in store for the city.

Well yeah... Congratulations and all that DirtyLittleSekrit! However... I WILL BE COMING BACK FOR MY FAMILIES FORT!

Jonizzel wonders off to plot a cunning plan!

Congratulations DirtyLittleSekrit

Congrats DLS!!!

Also congrats to Deimne, that was the first street/auth post I have read the entire way through in a long time.

PremIsHOTTT had her own dirty little sekrit, but that was to come out another day for now she'd just do a little congratulating.

Congratulations on moving to the wild wild west!

PremIsHOTTT had her own dirty little sekrit, but that was to come out another day for now she'd just do a little congratulating.

Congratulations on moving to the wild wild west!

Congratulations DirtyLittleSekrit

When the world started to spin PremIsHott grabbed onto the closets thing to her which just so happened to be a person. A Memphis_Raines person at that. She didn't know how she knew his name, but she did. Maybe someone had been shouting it, or maybe she was psychic, like espn or something. She looked up into the strangers face.

Oh hey there good lookin, what's cookin?