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Proving You're Human (A Reflection on vote sites) | Started by: Keats on Jun 30, '16 00:36 |
Every day I prove I'm human. Most people do, I hope. They love, they laugh, they look and listen at the wind rustling the branches of a tree as they walk outside. They make music and love and mistakes and hard choices. But I'm more human, and I prove it every day. I know what a river is, and I can prove it. Mountains? Easy. Street signs? All the time. Store fronts? More than once. Sometimes I don't even have to prove it. I just click the box that says "I'm not a robot" and the robot (or human?) on the other side can just sense my humanity by my firm yet tender click. Those days, my humanity must swagger through the Internet. I wink at the computer and move on to the next vote site. I know I'm human because I am a target of advertising. Gods do not answer letters, Updike said. Robots don't buy shit, I say. Does my desire make me human? My income? The fact that after watching over a thousand Progressive insurance commercials I officially have Stockholm syndrome with Flo? Am I human because at first I got annoyed by having to watch the same car insurance commercials? And am I more or less human because now I find Flo much more attractive? Am I human because I used to resent having to type "switch to progressive" because I realized that I was being manipulated? Or am I human because now I'm just used to it, and I have no doubt I approve of Progressive as a company more than when I started playing games online again? I know I can prove I'm human. I'm just not sure if every time I prove it I'm adding to or subtracting from my humanity. But really, here's my answer. There's this one vote site where when you click on the box to type in the code, it opens up a new window that takes you away from the page. Sometimes it even opens up the App Store. But when you get rid of that crap and decline the pop up and get back to the original page to click where to type the code it does THE WHOLE SHIT ALL OVER AGAIN! A second time on the same page! All new windows and pop ups and every damn thing! And in those moments, I feel such a perfect supernova of fury... a rage builds inside of me and courses through my veins. I want to break shit. I want violence. I feel filled to the brim, boiling over, like the first proto-human who picked up a rock or a bone or a sharp stick and decided to use this object as an instrument of entropy to fuck up that other monkey-guy who stole his food or his sex buddy or his cave or whatever. The anger that makes one man pull a trigger across the battlefield aiming at someone exactly like himself who just speaks another language because fuck him. The road rage. Raising the black flag. Pure. Wrath. And then it usually works on the third try. And I calm down, and I vote again. And I move on. And I know I'll do the same thing again later. And I know I proved my humanity. I'm just not sure precisely how. |
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Which website is it? | |
Reply by: Coldoldgold at Jun 30, '16 12:27 | |
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I think there's an option to block certain sites isn't there? Or perhaps I'm wrong. |
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Reply by: Chade at Jun 30, '16 13:54 | |
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Reply by: GentlemanJackDiamond at Jun 30, '16 15:42 | |
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I know it can be blocked. But I have struggled with the idea of rage-blocking vs. my own civic dedication to voting for the site. |
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Reply by: Keats at Jun 30, '16 16:04 | |
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I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who is sexually attracted to Flo. I don't feel quite so weird now. Thanks for that. |
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Reply by: TomasSeverino at Jun 30, '16 17:48 | |
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I'm glad I could be here for you, Tomas. I feel like anyone who watches so many of these commercials will eventually become a flo-mosexual. Or at least have occasional flo-mosexual urges. |
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Reply by: Keats at Jun 30, '16 18:14 | |
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Why fight it? There is nothing wrong with a little Flo-mance. |
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Reply by: BlindTiger at Jun 30, '16 18:51 | |
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There is a new Flo advertisement where she is camping with her extended family and she plays all the characters... Grandpa Flo gives me a confused boner :( | |
Reply by: Squishy at Jun 30, '16 23:55 | |
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So dawn goes down today Nothing Flo'd can stay. |
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Reply by: Keats at Jul 01, '16 00:14 | |
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You'd think that the family would have been more comfortable in a Flotel 6 or at the Econo Flodge. *shrug* |
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Reply by: BlindTiger at Jul 01, '16 02:08 | |
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Not even adblock can stop the Flo |
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Reply by: Burnett at Jul 03, '16 06:02 | |
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top100arena is the one that fucks with me the most. pop up after pop up layered over the submit button and when I go to close them they crash my browser! |
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Reply by: AnomanderRake at Jul 27, '16 17:21 | |
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