After a late night of celebrations and with an early-morning hangover as a memory, SpaceMountain staggered into his office at headquarters. He plopped down on his sofa hoping the pain would subside. The sounds of moaning and groaning alerted his receptionist to enter the office.

"Mister Mountain, are you okay?" The woman asked. Like every morning, he grunted and dismissed her with a wave. So much to do today, but so little time, even with an unbearable headache. After staring for a quarter-hour at the speckles of debris in the carpet that the cleaning lady never vacuumed up, he managed to walk over to his desk and place a few calls.

"Hoopi? Richard there with you? I need you guys here for a bit. I've got something to discuss. Oh, bring that barbling fool with you. Yeah, him. Yes, I'm sure."

SM hung up the receiver and fell asleep in his chair waiting for them to arrive.

Thirty minutes later, the three amigos arrived and entered SM's office in their usual loud way, nearly scaring Space to death. Hoopi, still wearing his clothes from the night before, reeked of cigarettes and cheap perfume. SM always suspected that the man never bathed, but he never had any proof to confirm it. Richard was sitting in the lounge chair in the corner, casually flicking a Zippo lighter on and off. He was always playing with matches or lighting things on fire, and as a result several of the curtains and chairs in this very room all had burn marks and had a peculiar smell about them. Then, there was Gwarble, the bearer of bad luck. A few of his relatives had issues with dying from freak accidents. Everyone knew to stay away from him or suffer the consequences.

"What's up, boss? Why are we all here?" Hoopi asked.

"Well, I've come to realize that we need to expand our family a bit. With careful consideration and his own personal blessing, Godfather Deimne has allowed me to select a captain. One who works directly for me, but is able to recruit his own men to work for him. After giving his never-ending loyalty since his captain perished not too long ago, I feel that Gwarble is up for this task and will not let me down."

There were cheers, thunderous applause, and much rejoicing. Hoopi placed a necklace of Hawaiian flowers over the stunned Gwarble's neck and gave him a farewell kiss on the cheek. I suppose you could say that Gwarble got lei'd by Hoopi. But that wouldn't surprise anyone. The room was filled with such eagerness to see the man go that SpaceMountain almost forgot to show him where his new headquarters would be. In the middle of shoving him out the door, SM gave Gwarble a set of keys and muttered an address to him before slamming the door behind him. As he turned around, he saw Hoopi and Richard already re-boozing themselves in a farewell party for the barbler. With a second thought, he turned once more and opened the door, calling out to Gwarble's receding back.

"Congratulations, Gwarble. I know you'll do a great job, but I wish the best of luck to you anyway."

Congrats Gwarble, Very good, Very GOOD

Well done Gwarble, a fine addition to New York! Congratulations

Well, Now I know what the next Barble is going to be full of. Congratulations anyway

Many congratulations!! :)

Ohh Gwarblized... Congratulations!

Well i must say Gwarble, this is a surprise. Like i said before i dont always agree with what you write but if our Godfather thinks you are a good leader than i dont see why i would'nt congratulate you, since you have shown yourself worthy enough for it. Congratulations Gwarble, i am looking forward to seeing your work here in the big apple we call New York!

You have got to be shitting me...

Looking up from the Barble mail room, Evangeline listened to a boy rambling on some nonsense about the newest leader to set up.

I believe you have been mistaken, young man. I've not seen any mail come across indicating otherwise.

No, Miss Evangeline come quickly with me, Don SpaceMountain has just announced it

The young boy was right, Good 'ole Gwarble had gotten himself a Captaincy in New York

Congratulations, Gwarble. I'm delighted to see you in bold. This doesn't mean you can send every mail to me though. I don't get paid enough for that.

After the initial shock had sank in, Cruel started to think about the new auth.

Congrats to you Gwarble, it is rare nowadays that someone who actually deserves a chance is given it. You have earned this more than most people and i wish you the best of luck.

well mister gwarble, after picking up my jaw i am very proud to see a member of the family i work for taking a position as a captain. congratulations

Leper hobbles over to the newly authed Captain and extends his four-fingered hand to him, barely managing to support himself with his cane.

A great day for the community. A good man has been given the opportunity to run a crew in his vision, and possibly the end of that dreadful and may I say hurtful Gwarble Barble. Best of luck to you, Gwarble. You will undoubtably go far.

The Gwarble Barble is the best* paper that I have read around here for a long time. Although huge congratulations are due to becoming a crewleader, I would like to also say that I hope your new duties and responsibilities will not affect the production of your publication.

*only

I'll keep this short as I have a fair bit I would like to say, but feel it would be better to do so elsewhere.

I would like to thank my bosses in New York for this opportunity. It has been a pleasure.

My thanks in particularly to SpaceMountain and everyone involved with the Manhattan Project.

I will make sure not to disappoint you.

~G~warble.

And I agree with Afro - sincere congratulations but please delegate a lot so your paper doesn't stop, I look forward to that so!

Congratulations G. I'm sure you'll prove a valuable asset to New York.

Congratulations, Mr. Gwarble! Very well deserved! Expectations are pretty high already...

My thanks in particularly to SpaceMountain and everyone involved with the Manhattan Project.

I know you didn't want to mention me by name, but I can read between the lines. No problem at all. I'm just glad to get your terrible patter and ego out of the HQ.

Seriously though, not too many things excite me these days, but seeing your bloodline bold again does and that says it all for me. Congratulations squire.

Well you still have my ego to deal with Hoopi and Congratz Gwarble!!!!!!

Good luck to you man!

Gwarble, our forebears had the skill to excel as men of authority and one would have to be blind not to see you share this same flair. I can only hope you do not share your bloodline's hopeless predilection for martyrdom!

Congratulations, Gwarble. I'm certain you'll do us proud and other generic sentiments also.