FlyingPig stands on the sidewalk doing some people watching. A mobster in front of him is standing quite far off the curb with drool hanging from his lip. The Pig watches as the drool strand gets longer and longer, clinging desperately to the mobster's lip, until it finally gives up and splashes to the ground.

"Jesus Christ, that poor moron is going to get hit by a bus. Oh well, not my problem."

Across the street, FP sees his old buddy Keiron skipping down the sidewalk, whistling some show tune from "Oklahoma!", or at least he thought it was from that show, but FlyingPig did not listen to show tunes. He was a manly man, not like Revan.

Suddenly, a large pigeon swooped down from the sky and took a giant shit right on Keiron's head. The act seemed deliberate, as if the pigeon knew exactly what it was doing and who it was doing it to...

"That's it! I have had enough!"

FlyingPig pulls out his pistol and shoots the bird out of the sky. It lands in front of Keiron, who immediately bursts into tears, oblivious to the fact that there is a huge mound of pigeon shit on his head.

"Why does everyone, even the fucking birds, think it is ok to constantly slander Keiron? Or shit on his head, as is the case here? Behold, here we have one of the greatest minds in all of Cosa Nostra, and nobody appreciates this great asset while he is here among us!"

Keiron looks up and smiles, with his right index finger knuckle-deep in his left nostril...

"We need to change this habit immediately. I am asking each and every one of you to join and support the Anti-Revan Defamation League, named in honor of Keiron's long dead ancestor."

Keiron notices a pile of dog droppings on the sidewalk and begins poking at it with his finger...

"Too often, we overlook the great minds among us until they are gone. At that point, it is too late to harvest the great ideas that spring forth from them. It would be a tragedy to allow that to happen here. Look at poor Keiron! Just look at him!"

Keiron stops poking the dog turds and looks up upon hearing his name...

"What you see before you is a man scarred by years of torment from the likes of all of you. Just look at what he has become as a result of your abuse! It is not too late to save him, however. The Anti-Revan Defamation League will work to end the abuse so that Keiron can be nurtured, grow, and develop into one of the greatest leaders Cosa Nostra has ever seen. It is an investment that will pay great dividends in the future. Contributions are tax-deductable and can be sent directly to me. Thank you for your time, fellow mobsters."

FlyingPig slaps Keiron on the back of the head

"Stop playing in that. You're not helping."

Eunice, walking down the street towards the coffee shops, pulls out a couple of dollars and put them into FlyingPig's hand, hoping it goes towards getting Keiron some help & perhaps some soap.

Following Eunice's lead, Joy digs around in her purse and pulls out some loose twenties. After quickly shoving them at FlyingPig, she turns, covers her mouth, and runs down the nearest alley before becoming violently ill.

Afro thinks it most fortuitous that the man in question picked his nose before covering his fingers in animal faeces. He sees Eunice pass FlyingPig some money so he follows suit and carries on walking

Keiron throws the poo in the air as if it were a ball and then after a few moments, something shiny catches his eye; running off from FlyingPig he runs to the nearest sewer and begins fishing around with his hand.

"I see something! I see something!"

Reaching in deeper and deeper he loses his footing and falls straight in, landing in a bunch of rubbish and some weird liquids.

"Mmm... dinner."

Keiron takes out his gun and begins shooting at a rat near the edge of the sewer.

Inventive, resourceful, and great survival techniques. See what I mean, folks? This man has a bright future.

sneakyrat clearly see's that Keiron is in great need... of therapy or whatever that could help him wake up! I mean, who in their right mind would go and shoot such a lovely animal as a rat? And hire someone to show him table manners for christ's sakes! He shoves a chunk of cash in FlyingPig's pockets!

DeadSeason, upon hearing of this monumental movement, starts handing out "A-R.D.L" buttons.

Please, Help the man because we all know STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand!!!

Finally fights his way out of the sewer with a sad look on his face, before noticing the shiny buttons that DeadSeason seems to be handing out.

"Shiny!"

Keiron runs over and takes a few of the buttons, putting one into his mouth.

"Mmmmm... shiny is yummy."

William walks by and see's Keiron running after the buttons Dead Season was giving to every body.He then holds out a bone

Here, Doggy,Here.

He then heaves the bone into a trash van

Go Fetch!!

He then walks to FP and gives him some cash

William, I think you are missing the point of this movement. We are trying to get people to STOP treating Keiron like a subhuman.  He is not a dog, he is a human being! And a great one at that, with limitless potential."

FlyingPig shakes his leg violently trying to remove Keiron, who has begun humping it...

Also, what's the deal with giving me all this invisible money? It takes REAL money to help this poor, afflicted soul. Dig deep, people!

I was just stopping the great human being with limitless potential from choking to death on buttons and gave him my hard earned bone as a sign of homage to a greater human being FP.

I am also sorry about not giving you REAL money, It will come, when I am no longer broke

It certainly was not the first time that anyone gave him a hard bone.

It will certainly not be the last either, FP. Remember that when he gets one in the recent future.

Mar 25, '10 13:42 Your accountant has made payment of $10 to FlyingPig.

I've done my part.

Walks up and sees the poor man coming out of the sewer and shakes her head.

Here. Misery hands him her bag that she had in her hand. It's not a lot just a sandwhich and some of the wonderful cookies that I can't seem to get enough of, a bag of chips and a soda. Enjoy.  She pats her stomach and laughs. I don't really need that especially not the cookies. She leans forward and whispers besides I can always get some more cookies.

She looks over at FlyingPig and smiles. Here you go. She hands him a new $100.00. It's always nice to be able to help those that will end up being great.

Mar 25, '10 15:19
Your accountant has made payment of $11 to
FlyingPig.

I guess that being a GF I can afford a bit more than a CL.

Mar 26, '10 16:29Revan accepted your associate invite.

I've done more for this cause than all.

Glad to see this issue is finally being dealt with.

"I for one, take great offense that my family line is being degraded like this, for years my forefathers have been the building blocks to many great tales and legend. I'm the only Mafioso that can gladly claim to be related to both a Rabbit and a Viking. My family line has road on clouds and fought with leprechauns... we're the few and the proud at what we do... AND I SAY NOW TH-"

Notices something shiny in the street and runs over to it.

"A pebble!"

A few cars swerve and crash.