It was what he had always dreamed of. After years of studiously working into the wee small hours on countless papers and journal articles, conducting untold hours of painstaking experimentation, only to be overlooked by his academic peers at every turn, it had finally happened. He had founded his very own college.

He hadn't always been inclined to larceny and blackmail, but during his tenure at Harvard he discovered that even in academia, money talks. It had started off small, swiping an old dear's handbag to fund his latest research proposal, then robbing the occasional bank to facilitate expeditions to the far reaches of the Earth in search on knowledge.

Such was how it began, and such was how it seemed destined to continue. Money talks, but now he was the one with the money. Founding a college had seemed like the logical thing to do, to attract the brightest and best America had to offer. Not only would it be a centre of learning, but many of the hard lessons Madejski had been tought deserved to be passed on.

Scribbling a few final lines in his worn and dog eared notebook, he made his way to the Los Angeles public forum to address anyone inclined to listen.

Good evening one and all. With the blessing of the esteemed leader of this fair city, DirtyLittleSekrit, it is my pleasure to announce the opening of a new establishment. The Los Angeles University of Crime, is now accepting applicants. Only the most gifted of you need apply, since we are what you might call selective with our admissions process.

Other schools might offer post-nominals following an intensive three years, but here we do so much more. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is unique in that you're likely to make money whilst in attendance. No class boundaries here, but ability rather than inherited wealth is valued.

I hope that with your help, Los Angeles can continue striding forward under the watchful eye of Don Sekrit. And with that, I pronounce UCLA open for business.