Chris steps out into the streets and looks around at various mafioso plying their trade. Something isn't right, something doesn't feel right. A slightly bastardized song lyric springs to mind. Where have all the real men gone and where are all the Gods. Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Gazing around as only he can, Chris finally decides to speak up.

Finally, the Rock, has returned... to the streets. Now we all know the Rock likes to talk. We all know that the Rock lovers to talk. its not like all of a sudden, nobody knows The Rock talks trash? The Rock lives, breathes, walks, talks trash all day long! As a matter of fact, The Rock talks trash in his sleep!

Zzzzzz Roodypoo.... Zzzzz Candy ass...

But that's not why the Rock has come to the streets. No! The Rock has come to the streets to right a wrong. You see, the Rock has been walking around, doing his thing, laying the smack down on a jabroni after jabroni, but one thing worries the Rock. Where have all the real men gone? The Rock looks around and he sees many jabronis, he sees a lot of Candy asses, but he see's few real men. Men who could stand toe to toe against the Great one and not have themselves checked into the smackdown hotel. Something the Rock heard the Flying Pig say struck a cord with the Rock. 'Welcome to the politically correct mafia. Go fuck yourselves.' You see the mafia has lost its way.

The great one believes that there may be many reasons for this. One of the obvious one's might be the power of women in this thing of ours, despite only recently getting the right to vote in 1920 with the 19th Ammendment. However, we readily accepted equality of the sexes in this thing of ours and many women have risen through the ranks to become great leaders. In fact, many of these women have been more masculine than many of the men who walk the streets.

The Rock looks around and sees men crying in the streets. He sees men complaining about hardship. He see's men running their mouths about how its not right to victimize a group of people based on Gender, sexual orientation, mental illness, race, colour or creed. This isn't the velvet mafia. This is la cosa nostra. This is what we do. We look for weakness and we exploit it. We rob grannies, we exploit women for prostitution, we sell drugs to children, in fact we sell children into slavery. We war for territory, for property, for money, for power, for respect. What is nice about this thing of ours?

Sure there is always respect. There are certain ways to do things. We can come out to the streets and run down everyone we see, but unless you have the cahonies to back up what we say, or live in the shadow of someone great enough to protect us from what we say you're likely to wind up dead. General consensus states that you run your mouth in such away that you are still respectful. You can call someone a monkey's ass and as long as you do so politely and with a smile most jabronis will smile back and go on about their business without even realising that they've been insulted.

It's time for you all to man up. It's time for all male mafiaoso to start acting like men. If someone insults you, then take your boot, shine it up real good, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up their candy asses. If you don't have the cahonies to do that then don't pollute the Rock's day with your whining... boo hoo hoo that monkey's ass said I was queer... boo hoo hoo that big ugly hermaphrodite said I was mentaly deficient boo hoo hoo that jabroni took the piss outta my club foot. Man up and do something about it. You might die as a result, but at least you'll die as a man and not as a pussy whipped roody poo candy ass.

Chris takes a look around at the shame on the faces of some of the assembled masses, the nervous shuffling of feet, the coughing to cover embarrassment and only see's a few real men meet his stare.

Tonight The Rock is going to play movie director, and let you see firsthand the unedited, uncut version of The Rock's major motion picture, entitled 'Laying The Smackdown on Your Roody-Poo Candy Ass!' And when it's all said and done, and all the smoke has cleared, and the millions and the millions of The Rock's fans have finished chanting his name, the Titanic will still be sunk, Monica Lewinsky will still love her cigars, and The Rock will have kicked the living piss out of the Velvet mafia! IF YA SMELL what the Rock...is cookin'

You know you do have a point there Chris. Some people do need to wake the fuck up and realise this isn't the salvation army or some Christian peace mission. We earn a living from exploitation and ninety percent of that is by causing misery to the ones being exploited. The Mafia has never been famed for it's consideration or tenderness.

You need a thick skin. People will piss you off and say hurtful things. Sometimes they mean it, other times its just done to test you. If you haven't got the stones to stand up for yourself then life will be very tough.

He lights a smoke and looks around at some of the newer faces.

Now I can understand some thinking about acting like they've got a pair but there are generally accepted limits just like anything. Walking up to Deimne while he's speaking and saying "Hey cock face, I don't like what you just said, why don't you lick on my hairy balls" will in all probability, buy you a coffin. As many have proved in the past. But no one will ever complain with you holding your ground and sticking up for yourself. Personally, I see someone fighting their own corner well and it invariably improves my opinion of them. If you don't want to insult people or be rude, that's fine, just don't get frilly when someone does it to you. Because it will happen.

If you don't want to insult people or be rude, that's fine, just don't get frilly when someone does it to you. Because it will happen.

Exactly. People seem to have the mentality these days that "If I'm nice to people, people will be nice to me". I'm not sure when people started taking this view on our lifestyle but I'll be sure to slam them a few of my choice burns to prove their philosophy wrong. It's an increasing fashion in this world for people to defend the little guys and I'm not sure why, they have done nothing to earn anyone's respect and they've proven nothing to us to warrant this "protection" of sorts. I see that the main reason for this new found lovey-dovey bullshit is that "They've done nothing wrong.". My answer to that is So fucking what?

If someone steps off the boat and receives a rock in the face or some tasty verbal insults then they should know they're in the right place. Of course, I'm not saying it's right for every Tom, Dick and Harry to approach these young bloods and start laying into them but since when have we ever bothered doing what's right? We sell drugs, kill people, rob old ladies, if that doesn't send us to Hell then giving a few new faces some stick certainly won't.

If these thugs and petty thieves decide that taking this stick is too much for them and they return on the boat home then we have just got rid of a few more twats that will undoubtedly "fight the good fight" for these no name C's. If someone can ride out the storm and take the stick that comes with being a mafioso then that shows character and kudos to them indeed.

Hopefully Chris, your speech will inspire others to realise that we're not here to be nice, we're here to do business and that's the bottom line... Cause Achilles said so.