Don't worry, Hoopi. I'll fill out yours for you.  Dante, I appreciate the effort you have shown.  This is why we at the Mafia Census Bureau continually try to make the forms easier to fill out each year.

Please state your full name:

TheseLipsWereOnYerMumLastNite



Criminal Family and City of Residence:

Something like P + K industries and the slave district(NY).



Rank as of April 14:

Shitty.



Category which best describes you: (Check one)

_______ Asshat

_______ Fucktard

_______ Drooling Mongoloid

_______ Mute moron

_______ Worthless CL

_______ Giant vagina who jumped ship during a war

_______ I am Flying Pig

X Giant man who has the balls not to jumpship unlike many other's.

Education Level: (Check one)

_______ Kindergarten

_______ First grade

_______ Second grade

_______ Third grade

_______ I know the difference between "your" and "you're", but not "there" and "their".

_______ Functioning, literate human being (Do not lie. You know you do not fall into this group.)

X Full functioning, literate human being that isn't a smartass with a dictionary. Hm, a certain Pig comes to mind on that note.

What are your primary accomplishments? (Check one)

_______ I have used my great power and influence to reshape Cosa Nostra.

_______ I offer a periodic journal to discuss current issues and entertain the masses.

_______ I gave a speech once. It was shit and did not receive any attention.

_______ I did something really stupid that amused a great many people.

_______ I don't do anything. Some day, I will serve as target practice for another mobster. It will be my most useful purpose up until then.

_______ I abuse people for my own and other's amusement.

___x____ Other (Please describe below)

I sit here and watch people play hop scotch while eating my peanut butter and jelly sammich.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Actually, I don't need to use a dictionary very often, Ricone. Should I apologize for having a respectable vocabulary, or should I beat myself in the head with a brick a few times until I am stupid enough to not threaten fragile intellects?

Watch your fucking tone with me. I don't mind it when friends give me shit, but if you don't know me, you better speak to me with respect.

I do know you though, more than you know and unfortunately being called a asshat, fucktard, drooling mongoloid, mute moron, worthless CL, or giant vagina that jumped ship during isn't something that would gain a lot of respect in my eyes. I mean you literally insulted the entire La Cosa Nostra in a matter of seconds. But maybe it's for shits and grins, which I'm hoping it is otherwise I'm shocked you're alive. Friends or not. So assuming you're joking around maybe you need to learn to take a joke or shit either or.

You don't know me. You might know OF me, just like we all know of just about everyone else here. It's a small world, but you don't know me. My point is, you are not familar with me enough to speak down to me. There are only a few people who are powerful enough or familar with me enough to speak down to me. Since I don't know you, you certainly can't know me as well as you think you do. You best get over yourself.

I don't need to explain my actions here to you. I don't need to justify anything to you. As Chris Vaughn might say, "Know your role".  Last I checked, I was a Don and RHM to the Godfather of LA. Since when does a wiseguy get off expressing shock that I'm alive, telling me I need to learn to take a joke, calling me a "smartass with a dictionary", or suggesting that you spent time with my mother?

Anyone I might have been concerned with offending here, I was confident enough that they would see the humor in it. Anyone else, I could give a rat's ass about offending. You fall into this category. In fact, I hope you were offended. You are the kind of guy that makes this place unbearable to anyone with a shred of intelligence. You are unable to grasp the nature of Cosa Nostra and seem to think your opinion matters, regardless of your station in life.

Offended me? No. I opted to treat it in humor yet you got upset. Whose fault is that? Yours. You've just stated that you were confident people would see humor in it. I did so I joked around and then you got all upset. So why try to have a good time if you're going to turn around and cry about it?

As far as making this place unbearable I could give two shits how others feel as far as me being apart of the game. I know enough of you that you throw your weight around from low ranks and no one says shit because they enjoy. So heaven fucking forbid anyone else fucks around.

Also you're right, I can't grasp Cosa Nostra because I lost the passion long ago.

Please state your full name:

Herbert "iluvlittleboys" ThePervert

__________________________________

Criminal Family and City of Residence:

La Casa Dei Misteri, Las Vegas

____________________________________

Rank as of April 14:

 Goomba

____________________

Category which best describes you: (Check one)

_______  Asshat

___X___  Fucktard

_______  Drooling Mongoloid

_______  Mute moron

_______  Worthless CL

_______  Giant vagina who jumped ship during a war

_______  I am Flying Pig

Education Level: (Check one)

_______  Kindergarten

_______  First grade

___X___  Second grade

_______  Third grade

_______  I know the difference between "your" and "you're", but not "there" and "their".

_______  Functioning, literate human being  (Do not lie. You know you do not fall into this group.)

What are your primary accomplishments? (Check one)

_______  I have used my great power and influence to reshape Cosa Nostra.

_______  I offer a periodic journal to discuss current issues and entertain the masses.

_______  I gave a speech once. It was shit and did not receive any attention.

_______  I did something really stupid that amused a great many people.

_______  I don't do anything. Some day, I will serve as target practice for another mobster. It will be my most useful purpose up until then.

_______  I abuse people for my own and other's amusement.

___X___  Other (Please describe below)

Little boys. Nuffsaid.

Please state your full name:

__________________________________ TheKing

Criminal Family and City of Residence:

_______If u dont know u dont need to_____________________________

Rank as of April 14:

TheKing ____________________

Category which best describes you: (Check one)

_______ Asshat

_______ Fucktard

_______ Drooling Mongoloid

_______ Mute moron

_______ Worthless CL

_______ Giant vagina who jumped ship during a war

_______ I am Flying Pig

x TheKing

Education Level: (Check one)

_______ Kindergarten

_______ First grade

_______ Second grade

_______ Third grade

_______ I know the difference between "your" and "you're", but not "there" and "their".

______X_ Functioning, literate human being (Do not lie. You know you do not fall into this group.)

What are your primary accomplishments? (Check one)

_______ I have used my great power and influence to reshape Cosa Nostra.

_______ I offer a periodic journal to discuss current issues and entertain the masses.

_______ I gave a speech once. It was shit and did not receive any attention.

_______ I did something really stupid that amused a great many people.

_______ I don't do anything. Some day, I will serve as target practice for another mobster. It will be my most useful purpose up until then.

_______ I abuse people for my own and other's amusement.

_______X Other (Please describe below) I do what needs to be done for me and mim ne personal glory matters not at all.

Oh FlyingPig you may be gone but I will still do this pretty cenus.

Please state your full name:
Birday T. King
__________________________________



Criminal Family and City of Residence:
I'm too stupid to have a family...I tend to wander Chicago though.
____________________________________



Rank as of April 14:
Twinkle in my daddies eye.
____________________



Category which best describes you: (Check one)

_______ Asshat

_______ Fucktard

_______ Drooling Mongoloid

_______ Mute moron

_______ Worthless CL

_______ Giant vagina who jumped ship during a war

___X___ I am Flying Pig



Education Level: (Check one)

_______ Kindergarten

_______ First grade

_______ Second grade

_______ Third grade

___X___ I know the difference between "your" and "you're", but not "there" and "their".

_______ Functioning, literate human being (Do not lie. You know you do not fall into this group.)



What are your primary accomplishments? (Check one)

_______ I have used my great power and influence to reshape Cosa Nostra.

_______ I offer a periodic journal to discuss current issues and entertain the masses.

_______ I gave a speech once. It was shit and did not receive any attention.

_______ I did something really stupid that amused a great many people.

_______ I don't do anything. Some day, I will serve as target practice for another mobster. It will be my most useful purpose up until then.

_______ I abuse people for my own and other's amusement.

___X___ Other (Please describe below)

I filled Iota with food...hardly an easy feat.

Fin.

Please state your full name:

 Prodigy_JR God of Death

__________________________________

Criminal Family and City of Residence:

 The Lunatics

____________________________________

Rank as of April 14:

 Made Man

____________________

Category which best describes you: (Check one)

_______  Asshat

_______  Fucktard

_______  Drooling Mongoloid

_______  Mute moron

_______  Worthless CL

___X____  Giant vagina who jumped ship during a war

_______  I am Flying Pig

Education Level: (Check one)

_______  Kindergarten

_______  First grade

_______  Second grade

_______  Third grade

_______  I know the difference between "your" and "you're", but not "there" and "their".

____X___  Functioning, literate human being  (Do not lie. You know you do not fall into this group.)

What are your primary accomplishments? (Check one)

_______  I have used my great power and influence to reshape Cosa Nostra.

_______  I offer a periodic journal to discuss current issues and entertain the masses.

_______  I gave a speech once. It was shit and did not receive any attention.

_______  I did something really stupid that amused a great many people.

_______  I don't do anything. Some day, I will serve as target practice for another mobster. It will be my most useful purpose up until then.

____X___  I abuse people for my own and other's amusement.

_____X__  Other (Please describe below)

           I eat babies!______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The man fills out the form and hands it back to FP.  Smiling, Mr. Pig shakes the man's hand and thanks him...

"Much appreciated. With this information, I will be able to analyze much information and we will be able to implement various public policies reflected by our current demographics.  Thank you for your time and patience."

Tyrion wanders past smoking and wonders why the pitiful cretin is trying to shake hands with a corpse.

Tyrion, some folks prefer interaction with the departed.  Most call this "necrophilia."

Ah yes. My mistake. Clearly.

Wincing at the scene he walks away doing his best not to dwell on it.

Necro wha? Can we make money out of it?

Stone shoots a couple of local whores,positions them in an alluring posture,and awaits his first customer.........