"Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight." - Polexia Aphrodisia

***** 

"It's all happening." - Penny Lane

Nobody's safe anymore, but mainly because there are no more places to hide. The devil sees you wherever you go. He starts to plant seeds of doubt in your mind, and forces you to let the suicidal thoughts sink in.

Then when the thought keeps haunting you, the day comes where you finally lose your cool.

Penny Lane wasn’t particularly in this situation, but she had witnessed this happen to someone very close to her.

It was very hard for her, not just because Penny had an unspeakable bond with this person – but because she didn’t know how hard this would affect her. It striked her so much that she wasn’t able to leave the house because of the mental state she was in. Penny had stopped doing all the things she used to do. She stopped eating, talking and sleeping. No one ever came to visit her after a while. People were too scared to ask anything because they all had this idea of Penny being a young, fragile girl that would start breaking down in tears when she’s asked the question “are you okay?”

Of course, she wasn’t okay. Penny didn’t know why people would even ask that question when there is someone going through the death of a loved one. It was stupid, really. But don’t get Penny wrong. She knew that people are just being nice and all, so no bad blood there. Anyway, she wasn’t fazed that no one was visiting her. If anything, she needed the space.

So, she left the country.

Penny didn’t know why she decided to leave the states. She figured that maybe if she got as far from the place she was dreading to be in, that maybe all her problems will go away.

But boy, she was wrong.

The journey was smooth. It didn’t feel the same without her friend though. There was just an emptiness inside her, waiting to be filled with happiness. Penny knew what her friend would be saying to her right now. “I want you to be happy.” Travelling alone wasn’t really something Penny would ever do, but it was her friend’s favorite hobby. Seeing the world for what it really is and the smile that her friend planted on her face was something Penny cherished.

She arrived to Sicily, Italy with a fresh start.

There was a lot to see. Like, a lot. The amount of cargo boxes she saw at the docks was incredible. Stacks on stacks. Penny wondered what was inside. Obviously, it would be supplies. But for what exactly?

“Mi scusi, signora..”

Penny shook her head back into reality and pointed her nose to the front of the car. The driver nodded for a brief second. “We’re here already?” The man motioned his head towards the front entrance of the motel and she smiled. “Grazie.” Thanks to the little language guide on the plane, she learnt how to say thank you in Italian. Thank goodness. Penny really wanted to learn Italian fluently though.

Italy was her first destination. She picked it because she had wanted to go here for such a long time now. So really, this trip was overdue. Now finally she was in Italy, and even though it costed her whole bank account to get here, she didn’t regret one single thing. Penny imagined her friend standing next to her, smiling so hard and squealing in excitement. Penny looked down at the ground and laughed quietly.

Ah… all the “what ifs.”

Penny reached into her purse to grab some money for the driver, but when she looked up he had already gone off. She was in shock, honestly. Back to where she was from, she would literally get harassed for the money. Penny didn’t get very good flashbacks from that. She put the money back in her purse, and picked up her suitcase off the floor. Penny let out a deep sigh, and took her first few steps to the motel. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it’s not like she wanted it to be. She would be outdoors for most of her time here anyway. When Penny walked in, the first thing she noticed was the pictures framed on the wall. There was a fish with just its head above the lady at the front desk. It made a shiver crawl down her spine, but she shrugged it off.

“Ciao bella.” The lady smiled cheerfully, she handed Penny a room key. Penny payed the amount to stay for one night, and she had a longer conversation with her. It was nice to just talk to someone, without having to pretend to be okay. By the end of the night, Penny had told her about her friend who had killed herself intentionally as a result of some… ordeal. Penny was dying to know what that ordeal was.

She had felt so bad for not asking earlier. Penny knew that at the last days of her friends life, she wasn’t herself anymore. Desperately wanting to find out why her friend killed herself, Penny spent the rest of night contemplating on what her next move would be. Maybe she would try and find a job tomorrow. Just to keep herself busy for a while.

Too much was on her mind.

It was a little after nine in the morning, and Penny felt exhausted. Damn jet lag. She propped herself up on a bunch of pillows because her back was feeling a little sore. The sun was shining down on her and the view was beautiful. She leaned her head back and just stared at the ceiling. There was so much going through her head, it was impossible to put all the pieces together. Penny was still thinking about the reason her friend decided to kill herself. Being in Italy felt weird, like there was something this place was trying to tell her. But she needed to keep herself busy. So she forced herself out of bed, and made a cup of coffee. For some reason, there was this weird feeling. It was like she could feel her friend in her presence. Suddenly a thought came to her mind.

“Did Polexia ever go to Sicily?”

The thought made Penny itch. She didn’t think her friend ever mention anything about Italy, but for some reason it felt like she had been here before. Penny was in the kitchen, whipping up some pancakes but she lost her appetite for anything. All she wanted to do now was get outside for some fresh air. So she took her warm, green coat with the white fluff and put it on. Penny ran her hands through her golden curly hair. She never had time to style her hair. Besides, she liked it when it was down.

When she walked out of her motel room, Penny started to notice that the hallway outside was always empty. Nothing. It was lifeless. It seemed to reflect her mood a little bit. Penny groaned. She couldn’t handle life right now. But she can’t dodge it. Penny needed to face the problems head on. Plus, she would do anything for her friend. “Just be happy.” Polexia would say. Penny started walking down the street. The trees were swaying, and the wind felt nice in her hair. It was a nice day, and it would be a waste to not embrace it. As her white laced up shoes made its way down to the local shops, she noticed posters on the street light poles. But there was this one particular poster that caught her eye.

It was stuck to the pole, crinkled up, and in block lettering the words “HOW TO PLAN A SUICIDE” printed itself on the paper. “What the hell…”

She didn’t know why someone would ever put this up for the public eye to see, but Penny was interested. Not interested in the way that she was suicidal and wanted to kill herself, but she wanted to know the reason or how Polexia did it. Penny needed a lead. Penny didn’t notice, but there was a man leaning on the other side of the pole. He was tall, broad and quite handsome. The man noticed her staring and he raised an eyebrow. Penny didn’t know what to say. It was either because of the fact he was an Adonis, or the poster. Nonetheless, she was speechless. The man raised an eyebrow. He took out the cigar from his mouth, and the smoke hung in the air. He sent shivers down her spine, and she didn’t know why. There was something he was up to, and Penny didn’t like this.

Penny was about to leave, but the man suddenly grabbed a hold of her wrist. She panicked. Her body was alarmed. There was no backing out now. She needed to say something. But the man spoke first, with a strong Italian accent. His mouth smelt like alcohol.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Instead of replying, Penny looked down at the ground. Her eyes were focused on a twig leaf that was being blown away be the wind. The man followed where her eyes were looking and he dropped her wrist. Penny was frozen on the spot.

Frosty continues to melt rapping up business. A penny for my thoughts? 

It took 4 hours to cap 300 guys that go by the name of durdens.