Disorder dragged Camp along behind him through the streets. Despite the young man's protestations, Disorder reassured him that he was fine with this proposal and he'd have a lot of fun. Camp wasn't wearing it, all he was wearing was a slinky robe. He had grave reservations but the beating and bribery had gone a long way to bringing him round to Disorder's way of thinking. The pair made their way through bustling snowy streets and still the objections from Camp continued. 

'I really don't feel good about this.'

"It'll be great! You'll make new friends and you'll be doing a great service for the family and the community."

'But I really am quite a private person. Shy even. Do I have to?'

"Yes you fucking do! Remember what the boss said about giving back to the community this Christmas? Yeah, well this is it. This is me and you really going the extra mile."

'I honestly feel I'm doing the lion's share of the work on this one...'

"You cheeky little cunt! I'm doing all the organizing, schmoozing, collecting the charitable donations, the after care, the fucking lot. Your part in this is basically smiling and being compliant. Now belt up and put a smile on, we're here!"

The two men rounded a corner into a large bustling square. A well used platform became the obvious launching point for this most splendid of announcements. Disorder hammered a large wooden sign to the notice board behind them and bellowed out a warm greeting.

~ 

Get It Here!

Love in all the right Places

 ~

A Christmas Gift to all that need it. From your friends, The Farseers

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I'm delighted to come before you today to bring the true spirit of Christmas from Las Vegas, to you all."

He looked around at the variety of startled and intrigued faces gathering around.

"We all know Christmas can be a challenging time of year for some. Sure, many of us are wrapped up warm with loved ones around us and all the snuggly-wuggly bullshit people want. But not everyone! No, there are many who don't have loved ones to cherish at this most expensive time of year. Those for whom the cold bites harder and loneliness is a very real adversary. It is you, you people of need that The Farseers of Las Vegas have come here to help. What is it we plan to do to eradicate winter suffering, I hear you ask? Let me show you!"

He turned and pulled the shaky Camp up beside him, whipping off his robe like the big reveal in some magic trick. Camp's lithe physique on fully display for all to admire. Camp was visibly concerned. The crowd was visibly confused. Only very small underpants protected his modesty and some slippers, his feet. Disorder waved a gesturing hand up and down his naked friend's form in true cheesy-salesman fashion.

"BEHOLD!"

The crowd beheld.

"Are you alone and in need of comfort? Do you want someone to curl up next to the fire with? You need a sympathetic ear? A few kind words? Or a seriously submissive arse to pound? Too poor for conventional houses of ill repute? Be sad no more my pathetic, lonely and desperate friends! Whatever your needs this Christmas time, he will provide! Just name your pleasure and this marvelous specimen of a man will do everything humanly possible to make the wrong things right!

Yes indeed. Its that simple. Whatever your pleasure, whatever your need, your friends in Vegas have your back! Just make an appointment with me and we'll get you the good love you need so much this Christmas."

Leaving Camp shivering and exposed, Disorder greeted all comers with a warm smile and an open book.

SeamanStaines would be proud of such commitment, I have no doubts on that.

As she sees and hears things that can never be erased from memory no matter how much alcohol is consumed she makes a mental note to let both of her hands know, their bro-mance was in crisis and this could be just the comfort they each needed...

Semi sprinted less than elegantly on her heels back to the HQ with the good news for them and to down a very large whiskey...

Axel stood a fair way back in the crowd, eyes wide open, slowly feeding his face with lay's potato chips as the scene unfolded before them all.

This is a wonderful offer. I heard Camp has been studying up on techniques to prefer for this adventure, too. Anyone wishing to go for this is really in for quite a treat.

AurelianoBuendia always believed the CrewLeader's hand should work close together..

After he heard Tellurium speak he briefly looked at SlumLordCactusFairy and instantly let his hand loose

SlumLordCactusFairy looks at his hand, with a broken heart,  and said "well,  guess it's only me and you tonight."

I must say this is indeed a magnificent gesture and one I am sure will comfort a lot of people across the country in those cold winter nights, I'll be sure to let my family members know about this grand offer, in fact i'll even throw in one of our many spare rooms here at Camelot to save poor Camp from frostbite whilst performing his duties.

Buys eggs and wonders what the etiquette is regarding discussing sharing is caring regarding Highpitcheric might be....

Artus had been at the coffee shop all day, trying to earn that currency to be even richer than he currently is. After many hours he got bored and retired he his lonesome home, where no one was waiting. After getting ready for an early night, he hears all sorts of commotion outside, a few voices he could hear once the speaker had stopped to take a breather.

Free Christmas Sex.

Those were the words he could hear the crowd talking amongst themselves, obviously being a red blooded male, he had to go show his face. After all, he had no one else. Artus put on his clothes he'd be wearing all day and rushed downstairs hoping to arrive before the speaker left. Upon arriving, he sees that the speaker is none other than Disorder.

"My dear friend, how pleased I am to see you are the one here..." Trying not to sounds too desperate, he calmly asks. "Free Christmas sex?"

Free Christmas sex? Why not? Mine comes on 7th of January. 13 days old/new calendar issue...

Pleased but understandably unsurprised, Disorder welcomes all comers. He takes each point of inquiry as they come.

"Tellurium! You have nothing to worry about. Camp here is a marvel of human evolution and tolerance. He's more than equipped both mentally and physically for the rigours of tag-team action. You! Aureliano and SlumLord, you lads have only adventure ahead of you. The kind of man-tangles you two will be involved in, will surely fuse your already budding bond. Camp can be all things to all men and women, couples, plants and animals. And for you two gents, I'm assuredly informed, there's nothing quite like gazing into another man's eyes while you're hammering away at either end of a rare specimen like this one!"

Seeing the two men become visibly reconnected and open to the idea, Disorder felt pleased and moved along. Seeing Alex and Slash standing at the back, he calls over.

"Slash, thanks for making a good point here by bringing Axel with you. There is room here for the shy type too. We can be as discrete as you like. Just send over a mail with whatever sordid request you are too ashamed to admit in public and I'll have this lad sent round to you. All oiled up and ready to accept whatever hideousness your depraved mind can conjure. I'm pleased to see WoonDa is more up front about it though. Maybe he can help Axel accept his shameful desires."

Taking a few steps over to Lancelot, Disorder nudges the clanking armour and gives his old friend a wink.

"Hello mate. I get it. Its ok. "Cold winter nights"? Cold winter Knights? Say no more my friend, Camp here will storm your battlements, lower your drawbridge and be inside that armour like shit through a goose. You'll be the other side of ecstasy before you know what's hit you. You and your Camelot mob, he'll do you all! I'll mark you down for a 'Wild Mob Special' then. Don't fret, I'll give you a group rate. Man for man, it'll work out cheap as chips!"

Turning to Bobby he smiles.

"Bobby, I have no doubt that we can arrange to have Eric flown out to you in LA. The great mass does love the sun and if there's ice cream on the beach, you'll find him more than happy to do the things he's not so happy to do for the various people we send him to in Vegas. Yes sir, if HighPitch shrieking and sweaty blubbery masses are your bag, we can package wrap old Eric for you, no problem. When he's there, make sure to ask him for his special move too. He calls it the 'Anus of Despair' and I'm told its not something you'll forget in a hurry!"

Lastly he turned smiling to the familiar face from Las Vegas.

"Artus! Good to see you here! For you he'll go double. He likes the older, more distinguished gents anyway. Yes my friend, I'll have him swing by your place on his way out and his way back. He can draw you a long leisurely bath and read to you of intellect and of poetry while you relax... Then after, you can beast the living shit out of his every suffering orifice. It'll be great!"

Turning to the gathering he smiled and opened his arms wide.

"I'm so happy that you have come forward and embraced this great gift. Along with accepting your own dark and repellent desires, I'm delighted by your public liberation and acceptance of Christmas good will. 

To one, to all, believe me when I say Camp's stamina knows almost no bounds. I'll be taking bookings for his love right through the new year. Make sure you don't miss the chance to indulge that disgusting itch you secretly always wanted to itch. At some point, through his failing health or The Farseers collective mercy, we will be forced to retire him from this and allow his posterior some respite. So make the most while you can. Get it here!"

Taking a step back, he talks to more prospective recipients of this monumental act of charity. 

It had been a few days since Artus got overexcited and a little wet at the thought of free Christmas sex, though as the days passed he had heard nothing. Not a telegram, just the word from Disorder that he would run Artus a leisurely bath and read poetry. The poetry and bath combined seemed like heaven, as long as there was some sort of physical activity afterwards to really build on the feelings and emotions.

Waiting for Disorder to finish addressing the rest of the customers or those that just wanted to watch and have a good laugh at those alone for Christmas, he waits for the right moment to ask.

"Disorder, I am still waiting for Camp to arrive at my place and show me what I have been missing out on. I was under the impression that on Christmas day night I would be shown a marvellous time, yet I was let down. Do I now get an extra night of pleasure for my missing out on action?"

Disorder was naturally apologetic to Artus.

"My friend, I must apologize. Camp has been worn out. Literally. The four pronged sexual assault some of Lancelot's men launched on his was overwhelming. In all honestly he did well to survive it. A man should never have to cope with so many... Well, best I don't go into details. Suffice to say, there was some tearing and bleeding. The overstretching was considerable and we've had to delay a number of Camp's appointments, yours included."

Realizing he was putting a bit of a downer on proceedings, he made an effort to pep things up again.

"Have no fear though! The surgeon was quite superb and assures me Camp's ring will be back to it's best and tighter than ever. His work to date has yielded some rave reviews. We can't allow such a smash-hit to stop over a non-fatal injury. Camp himself is already looking revitalized from the break and I'm sure by the time his stitches come out, he'll be raring to get back to the daily barrage of sexual challenges that await him."

WoonDa was listening carefully to complaints, about the time spent waiting, and other stAff. Damn you guys we all gonna die becoz of a few days adaptation? Just do it.