Hearing Falcon was hungry, lolcat turned its attention to the far table. Apparently Falcon had decided that he was not, in fact, too good for the actual menu items of the establishment. Excellent. That meant that kitteh could actually bring him some food, as it was on stock and readily prepared. Hopping into the back room, the magnificent cat hand selected the most delicious looking chocolate chip cookies and poured a pair of glasses of milk. Yeah, you heard that right. This cat can actually pour milk. It doesn't even have opposable thumbs, but somehow it managed to unscrew the cap of the jug, grasp the sides, and deftly control the exact rate of flow out of the spout into the glasses. It takes a lot to impress a narrator, but a cat pouring milk? Well, that's not something you see every day.

wat kin i haz sai narater dewd? i haz mad skilz

That you do, kitten, that you do. But now it's about time for our favorite little restauranteur to bring the food out to Falcon, as he's about to pound his fist through the window if he doesn't get his cookies. And he wanted some cheeseburgers before too, so you'd better bring those out before I forget to remind you of it as well. So lolcat grabbed a couple of cheeseburgers hot off the grill and added them to the platter with the milk and cookies, then headed over to the table and set down Falcon's food. Again, don't ask me how a cat's joints are capable of actually carrying food above his head and walking. Some cats are just talented and know how to do these things. Sometimes a narrator does his job best by leaving some mystery about the process.

heer u aer mistar falkin i hoeps u lieks dem as much as meh

After briefly checking to see that all was well at the table, lolcat ambled off towards his other customers. Today was a busy day, and it would take him a bit to make the rounds and make sure that all of them were satisfied with their visit to the i can has cheezburger.

Ahh! Cheese!

He walks in and head for an empty table, waiting for someone to take his order he takes out a cigar and lights it up!

Seeing Lolita enter the restaurant, lolcat sprang into action attending her needs. She seemed slightly surprised, like most of the customers here, that the proprietor was an actual cat, with an actual narrator, serving actually delicious cheeseburgers to actual people. The whole affair seemed slightly surreal, at least until the visitors tasted the food. Then it became a little slice of heaven in downtown motor city. It seemed that Lolita was unconvinced of the level of quality that would be found in this fine establishment, so our favorite salescat sprung into action describing just how wonderful the food here really was.

deez cheezburger meets aer 100% pure ripended delishoos caw maed into nom nom form by chuk noriz brayn an de majik cheezburger masheen

But of course, there was also nothing wrong with a good meal of milk and cookies, if that was your thing, and lolcat was loath to deprive someone of a cookie when they asked for it ... even if this kitten had a nasty habit of eating cookies after they were prepared. For this reason, the kitchen at the i can has cheezburger knew to always prepare a double order of cookies in expectation that the owner would snack on them throughout the day. Besides, one could never have too many cookies, and having a supply on hand was a quick and easy way to boost morale of the workforce.

newaiz i gets u yur cookie n melk naow LOLeeta u kin haz ur cheezburger laytur if u wantz

And with that, the kitten rushed into the back room and loaded up a plate with the order. A super delicious sampler platter with oreos, sugar cookies, chocolate chip, and even an M&M cookie thrown in to spice things up. If you could dream it, the chefs here could bake it into a cookie, and lolcat wasn't about to lose a customer because she wasn't satisfied with the food quality. So it brought all the yummy cookies out along with a glass of cold milk and let Lolita bask in the glory of all the confectionery goodness.

Our friend kitteh could do little more than look on with horror as Chade turned down his offer of milk and reached for some horrendous alcoholic concoction from his flask. Was Chade some sort of unwashed milk-heathen who would not touch the holy drink? Was he one of those snobby humans who would not touch food that was meant for the "common folk," offended that he could not find escargot and foie gras in downtown Detroit? This kitten did not know, but knew better than to probe to find out. The customer was always right, they said, and that was just as true when it came to such sacrilege as turning down perfectly good milk. So our feline entrepreneur swallowed hard and trudged on without giving any indication at all that there was a problem with Chade's beverage of choice.

yu wants to maek invisible menyoo for i can has cheezburger wif beers? ai gess dats okies as long as yu dun maek kitteh into boozecat an does teh werks ursewf

This cat knew absolutely nothing about the alcoholic beverage business, but he certainly would not turn down a business proposition by a friend such as Chade without considering it, and this one seemed to be all gain and no pain. There would be no new work for kitteh, as he was already serving beverages, and it sounded like Chade was offering to handle all of the supply chain and inventory issues that might arise as well. What wasn't to love about such an offer? Businesses were supposed to expand, after all, and lolcat was thrilled at the possibility of allowing regular customers order things off of "the invisible menu" to satisfy niche markets. Of course, it was all dependent upon further negotiations, but the possibilities were near endless!

eeder wai iz happee u lieks teh cheezburger

After spending a considerable amount of time thinking over both Kitteh and narrator guy's response Kilroy decides they are both right. Ordering a pancake and the subsequent use of said pancake as head wear was simply ridiculous.

I must thank you, Kitteh, for stopping me from making a foolish decision. After all that pondering I find myself famished and those cheeseburgers smell fantastic. Could a I please have a value meal with a cheeseburger, a cookie, and a frosty cold milk please? I'm even going to throw in a few extra monies for a tip.

Kilroy nods at his good friend Kitteh.

Singer was walking down the street to his singing bar when he noticed lolcat no longer in the resturaunt. Its a sad day he thought to himself. Singer kept walking hoping lolcat had a son or daughter cat that would take his place.

Kilroy shakes his head in disbelief.

Now it looks like I'm not going to get a cheeseburger either! I should have stuck to my guns and insisted on the pancake.

Kilroy throws up his arms and walks out of the restaurant.

Waling past, Chris looks up at the closed Burger shop and chuckles to himself. Eventually the Dogs always win.

I always love your Buisness its a sham you died

http://www.hclibrary.org/highlyrecommended/wp-content/uploads/image/John/i%20can%20has.jpg

A klack'rt'wat from a ZMSG's star'bert quack't'uf't'n'dat'ass foot sent the door flyinn. An abandon't restaurant. Just the place this mafioso baby lad need't'er b'ee 'eo'd'ed along at his own pr-rumps-a-tummin'n'th'um'n. The Peacock't'e'Vett'ee of the seas went into the pantry in the back, scouragin'n for some non perishables. He kick't open th'a door'ee'ea'd'ed. Then he let out a little silent whistle into the his WhizzlinSpliff. The whizzbanga was in the kitchen whippin'n'twistin with the only shit he could fuckin' find. 

Beans n rice. 

So the wing'en'st dish'ERR'wash'nt'ried to warn people but suddenly

KLANG

He had dropp't the spoon he lifted and clean't a'forr aheadin to the prep-table. Usin' his star'berd tootz he pulls the giant pot stash't under the sink behind him. Star'berd pointer to3 just knowz. The port'r syde to3 rotated on it's ball as the star'berd floor'feller twinkle't and whipp't the pot into a downright position. He sat into his new stance, and let roar a kick with the star'berd syde, flick of the toes and the pot go3z. 720 degrees of rotation before the star'berd pointer n th'umm make the grab in mid air. He sets the pot down and resets his paddy'cap't back to its upright positionin'. He proceeds to make a concoction with all the random shit he could find. He was lookin' for some kind of flavor he just couldn'th'aa'ee'iss'ee'iss find'n. 

The burners turn on, and the red'eye't newt'en'newter'nn Duke't'Nuke'th'emm fills it with water, salt, and a stupid amount of garlic powder. Throwin'n some more salt on top of it all. 

Hera heard there was a burger shop that was once run by a cat, YES a CAT! She didn't know whether it was real or not but after learning that the shop was still open, she decided to check it out herself.

Sadly, the shop was no longer operated by a cat, but it sold good cheeseburgers so she ordered herself one with extra cheese and ate it before leaving.