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Ask Lucius Started by: LuciusSweet on Feb 17, '17 11:49

Lucius was bored. He had enjoyed passing the baton amongst his chums and associates in Summerlin, but with the fun having finished, he was worried that the age-old malaise was going to befall him again. He supposed he could whittle away a few hours teaching FitzChivalry what passing actually was..... No. That would take too long and you can't keep trying to teach an old dog new tricks. He decided it was time for a different approach.

"Glenn. Is it raining?" He asked getting up from behind his desk. His faithful number two gloomily levered himself up from his armchair where he had been reading the latest issue of "Fat People 2.0" for the last few hours and peered out of the window.

"Looks dry, boss" Glenn said "don't think you'll need the umbrella today. I'll leave it here."

"Good. Be a lad and get the car instead then; we're off to the Streets" Lucius replied donning his hat and making his way to the door.

In that moment GlennCullen reminded him of one of the lazy dogs who used to rot in the alley at the back of his mother's place. The fat, lazy dogs that used to howl whenever anyone tried to move them. The fat, lazy, stinking dogs that would be better put out of their misery or left to drown in their own piss. That was GlennCullen; sullen and smelly. But, despite the death stare he was firing at Lucius for all he was worth, he did manage to rouse himself and arrange their transport.

"Fine work, Glenn. Now, go and get me a table in that cafe over there" He said, pointing "I've got a little announcement to make today"

Glenn muttered something under his breath that sounded like "cucking funt" and trundled off on his task. Lucius ignored him and cleared his throat. A few people began to take note of him.

"Some of you will have undoubtedly realised by now that I, LuciusSweet, am far more than just a pretty face. I have been around the block a fair few times and I'm fortunate enough to be able to wine and dine with some of the most high profile members of this thing of ours on a regular basis. This certainly has its perks; I don't ever have to pay for anything (everyone just gives me things for free), I never have to worry about getting a parking ticket (who would pick the Don up on being illegally parked?) and, perhaps the most beneficial part of being the Don of Summerlin, is that I'm "in the know"."

Lucius accompanied this final statement with some air quotes for emphasis.

"Now, I'm sure you're all sitting there enjoying listening to me brag about my extravagant lifestyle, but I do actually have a point in coming out here. You see, being a man of the people such as I am" this drew at least one snort of derision but Lucius glossed over than and continued "I've decided to share some of my privilege with you all and I'm going to be making myself available to spread the wealth; both figuratively and literally."

This statement garnered a little more attention than his previous posturing and he allowed himself a small smile.

"I've decided that I'm going to plonk myself in that bar over there" he said, pointing to where GlennCullen was visible through the window, turfing a few locals out of the Don's favourite booth "... and I'm going to invite you all to join me for a drink. Whilst we are having a drink, you're free to ask me absolutely anything you like and I'll answer you as honestly as I can."

Several people began to yap at that, so the Don held up his ring-encrusted hand before continuing "Let me explain. This little social enterprise is to help out you little guys get a little bit more intel than you might have gotten previously. Want to know how the favour system works? Mine's a vodka and cranberry juice - a real man's drink, right - bring that over to me at the table and ask your question. We'll have ourselves a nice chat, finish our drinks and then Glenn will show you the door. Want to know why your mother got clipped? I'll give you my take on it. Want to know how you can better yourself and be more like lucky Lucius and less like dicky Disorder? You get the idea. I'm here. I'm offering you my sage counsel and a small piece of mind. The only requirement is that you're buying. If you don't buy, I won't answer. Capisce?"

The Don decided enough was enough and left it there. He headed over to the cafe Glenn had picked out for him and wondered whether it would be another evening drinking alone or whether anyone wanted to pick his brain.

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Is there anything we can do about Godfather Fitz's 'sleeping' problem?
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Lucius sees TyeDillinger standing outside the cafe. He seems to be asking Lucius a question, but as he hasn't bothered to come to his table inside or bought him a drink yet, Lucius gives him a cheery wave and waits in his seat.

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committing to his epic walk of shame, Tye didn't even attempt to play it cool as he realized that he was trying to talk to Don Sweets when he was clearly in the bar. Straight faces as possible, he walked into the bar and stopped a few steps short of the Don

 

'What can be done about Godfather Fitz's 'sleeping' problem?'

Tye stood there in all his gloriousness and shame, awaiting a response.

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Shantelle had been lingering around the cafe. She was not sure whether or not she really needed to seek advice but she had a vodka and cranberry ready anyways. She had noticed someone trying to get Lucius attention but he seemed to lack the important thing, the drink. Taking the glass she handed it over to him and smiled.

"He might be a bit more receptive if you give him this."

Pushing the glass into his hand she headed back to another table. She'd get some food and consider her question while she waited.

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"Two vodka cranberries - the way LuciusSweets' normally has it, please."

finanaveguy took the two drinks, dropped $20,000 on the bar top and waited his turn for the Don to answer his question. These kind of opportunities were reasonably rare nowadays around these parts so he welcomed the chance to probe. 

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Tye orders a vodka and cranberry for Don Sweets and a napkin to wipe the egg off his face
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As TyeDillinger sat down, the Don tipped his now full glass towards Shantelle. There was someone who paid attention; he was sure she was going to go far in this life. 

"So Tye" he said, able to get back to the matter at hand now his whistle had been wet "you want to know what can be done about FitzChivalry's sleeping problem, right?"

Now with the majority of the egg removed from his chops, Tye gave a sheepish nod.

"Tricky one that. I hope you aren't referring to his nightly habits, because that shit is beyond even my powers to heal. But if by sleeping, you're referring to his latest ghostly malaise, then that is pretty much indicative of not having someone there to feed him ideas to steal and claim as his own. I was the Godfather's number two for a long time and he's got many, many flaws as I'm sure you're aware, but with me out of the picture and Disorder waging a one man war against all of Isabella's battalions of personalities, the blame really lies with MonsterHair as the last one left - this never happened on my watch, let me tell you - you gotta keep him motivated, and he's probably too balls deep into dice to notice."

The Don paused to take another sip of his drink. This really was quite a nice place that Glenn had found, once you learned to ignore the cobwebs in the corners and the washed-once-too-many-times tablecloths. He looked out of the window at the street outside and remembered his own youth spent looking in on places like this, wondering about the people inside. Now he was one of them, a big shot with a corner table. His mother would be proud.

"Oh and Orange probably isn't doing anything to help either. Although, he never has, so that probably hasn't had much impact."

Tye seemed to have regained a little composure now that he wasn't making an enormous melon out of himself, so Lucius gave him his disarming smile.

"Does that answer your question, pal?"

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