"FUCK!!!"

A loud crashing sound ensues as you see a man back-pedalling his way out of an alley, knocking over garbage cans as he scrambles down the road.

"I don't know what the FUCK that was!"

You look back towards the alley and see...what in the hell was that? A giant humanoid chunk of metal walked calmly out of the alley, stuffing a wad of money under his hat. His cape swirled around him as he twirled his cane happily, carrying it around more for show than for use. Despite the fat cliché cigar hanging from his mouth, whatever the thing was certainly wasn't normal.

The Don Bot was a fashionable man...bot, who always wore only the finest accessories. They just had to be the absolute best. Though it was the middle of the night, he found himself out and about doing the usual; bossing his henchmen Clamps and Joey Mousepad around, collecting shiny bobby pins out of purses, kicking the occasional  stray cat, and hitting on beautiful women.

His henchmen were robots just like him, though The Don Bot wasn't quite sure how they gained the ability to talk. Or walk... Or, well.. he didn't know too damn much about the hows and whys of his existence at all, and got irritated when folks tried asking him about it. He was programmed to know that unequivocally and without a doubt, him and his henchmen were indeed...robots.

He wasn't programmed to know much else other than how to; kill, argue, walk, talk, smoke, write, try to sex it up with the ladies, and most other functions that he'd learned the humans considered 'normal'.

Clamps and Joey always "secretly" laughed at him behind his back for this, and The Don Bot assumed that was because he lacked a penis. He scoffed internally. As if those two could do anything without him knowing. The lack of penis didn't stop him from hitting on women either, as he had metaphorical balls the size of an elephant's.

Seeing a stray cat walking by, The Don Bot leaned down close to its face. He proceeded stubbing his cigar out on the cats back while barking ferociously. He chuckled as it scattered away. Raising his gaze and noticing a foxy lady walking across the street from him, The Don Bot waggled his eye-sockets and approached her.

"Hey baby! My docking station, or yours?"  

The woman's lip twitched as she swung her purse in his general direction. His reflexes were far more superb than she could have anticipated. The Don Bot was able to not only avoid the assault but also steal a handful of bobby-pins from her purse. All the same to me little lady, he thought to himself as she quickly hurried away.

The Don Bot shook his head and proceeded with his evening. Despite having the urges of a human male, he thought, looking down upon his shiny metallic body, there was no doubt that The Don Bot was indeed...a robot.