A while back I was on an epic binder. I had been up all night drinking whiskey and shooting dice. I was down quite a bit and trying to drown my sorrows. Every few mins I’d jump back into the game and try to get some money back. After a few hours of losing, I pondered to myself; maybe it would be better to try to own the casino. So the next day I set out with the goal to purchase a casino in New York. I talked to all the city heads. Borkers advised me a bit and said “Hey kid, if you have the money it doesn’t bother me a bit” So I then went to Reggie who also said “It’s fine by me.” At last I went to Daniella. She was my leader, my friend and my closest advisor. She said “Well if you want to do that it would be fine. However you do realize how much bamboo you could purchase with this investment money.” I replied “When the casino does well I might be able to get even more.” With all the talks said and done construction was ready to begin.

For those that have been wandering around New York, a few might have noticed the big building going up down by the river. Now, this hasn't really been advertised but by word of mouth. However today is the day that I make the announcement. That building is Paradise Casino New York. The casino is relatively simple but elegant. You walk in and there are slot machines as far as the eye can see. In the middle is a bar and in the back is a cashier. Over on the left hand side you see a few table games that everyone can enjoy. Marble floors, many lights. However we all know that no one came here to hear me describe the casino so you'll all just have to visit and see it for yourself.

The main reason we are here today is to talk about why YOU should gamble at Paradise Casino New York. Here it is half way through March and we are finally able to open the doors.

The promotions are simple.

1. Ten Percent cash back to the biggest loser in the casino until the end of the month.

2. Five Percent cash back to the second biggest loser in the casino until the end of the month.

Now I know what you are thinking... "but Mr Panda kind sir we all came here to win."

     3)  Well I will be giving a CA to the biggest winner of the month.

     4)  We will also give durden mapping to the top 3 players with the most plays at the end of the month.

Now let's jump to the poker tables.

Paradise Casino has 2 tables. We currently run Panda's Playhouse, which is your standard No limit hold'em game. The stakes there may change depending on the day.

The other table we run is Paradise Casino Poker. This is a pot limit omaha game. You get 4 cards and have to make the best hand using 2 in your hand. It is a wild crazy fun gambling game.

Alright so what are the poker promo's you might ask?
Well, randomly throughout the day I will hop on in there and give away some credit codes to my fine patrons.

Any questions you might have you can bring them directly to me and I would be happy to answer them. Have a good day and good luck at the tables!

Argyle had been playing with a pair of fuzzy dice when he heard the announcement from Panda, the dice row had always held a soft spot in his heart but perhaps he would head over and give the other games a try. Blackjack, Roulette, and even the one where you pull the little lever and it spins and you try to match three things? That one. Spinny, the spinny game. He had seen his grandmother play those more than any self-respecting person ever would, but then again she did once win $20,000. Great day for her. Good old Gran.

Oh uh, hi. Don't mind me just standing here... my luck I'll be the third worst loser, but I can't wait to head over to the New York Casino and give it a spin! Also, what's that game called? The spinny one? Does anyone know? It's on the tip of my mind, but I just can't seem to grab it.

Before anyone could answer he walked off, obviously to head over to New York where he could ply his trade as a gambling man. He was never very successful, but boy howdy did he try.

He also hoped he'd get some cash thrown his way for such a great shout out. Hint Hint.

SadPanda listens to Argyle talk. He admired Argyle a quirky little man with much to say but for some reason often lacking the words to put it out there. He heard him hint at the end about something but couldn't quiet sort it out himself. He walked over to one of his bodyguards and asked. 

What was Argyle on about this time? Did he have a legit question or was he just talking about pizza again?

To which the bodyguard replied

"The man wasn't sure how to say slot machine I think he was on something. 

SadPanda gave his bodyguard a few hundred dollar bills and said 

"Run on after him and give him some extra cash. Tell him to lay off the booze for a few minutes and sit down at a slot machine. That should help him out." 

After a long day with my financial advisors and a few lawyers looking over sheets and sheets of numbers. SadPanda had come to one conclusion. He needed to cut his losses and sell the casino to the man Squishy. 

The numbers for his line of life didn't make sense. He would have to make a tremendous amount of cash to remove his financial risk and in his life of work that would be silly. He wouldn't be helping his future generations at all unless he lived for an crazy amount of time. 

With that said he must close his doors. 


CASINO NOW UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT - Promotions are closed