Gliding through the air at a speed only a pensioner getting out of an arm chair could match, actually it was more like a piece of trash floating through the air courtesy of a strong breeze. Floating through the air like a piece of trash Regman is once again heading towards the action, some sick fuck had left a box of kittens in the middle of the road, A truck was racing towards them Regman knew what he had to do he flutters out of the sky swooping in the nick of time he rescues the box but not the kittens reaching their demise. Regman, got up on his knees to the horror of what just took place, his hands placed firmly on the back of his head a lone tear rolls down his cheek, letting out a cry of pain it was true Regman had ripped his box in all the commotion. Just another day in the Adventures of REGMAN.

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Du-da-du-da-du-da-du-da Regmannnn, Regman, Regmannnnnn

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Evil dominates the city known as the rotten apple, when the sun sets the degenerates come out to play and terrorise the locals, constantly living in fear there was no cure until now. Regman was on the prowl looking for some crime to punch in the dick, and he knew some shady shit holes to start looking, a shithole in Boorklyn called 'The Dubliner' Regman walks in to find a bunch of circus freaks and leprechauns, he knew this was the spot in the distance was a drunken old fool  Regman recognised a drunken dirty bastard by the name of Tsu-Face, not big in stature but big in width almost looking like a sun burned potato. 

On the other side of the dubliner there was a commotion, a mysterious figure was tugging at some of the hired help this was the kind of action Regman was looking for he rushes over to the action attempting to slide over a table like a movie star which resulted in an epic failure, Regman hit his shin off a chair and headbutted the table. The  villain rushed out the back door into a nearby alley, Regman stumbled to his feet and stole a drink off a near by table and rushed outside after 'IT'Lurking in the shadows was a figure Regman could barely make out, Was that 2 finger or 3? No it was 4. "Bwahahahaha, What the fuck have you come as? Micheal Jacksdad favourite glove?" The Glove figure stood on all four fingers,and shouted "I am thee silk glove and I will tug you off" before laughing an attack at Regman, Tugging here and Tugging there, Regman was a ticklish fellow he instanly adopted the fetal position laughing his ass off so much he pissed himself. The Glove things Dildo army came spewing out of darkness and  attacked him also, prodding him and slapping him with their latex balls. "Bwhahahahahaha" Regman gasps for air "bwahahahaah" 

Regman was in trouble he was being amused to death, he needed help and little did he know he had an admirer she followed him everyday, watching from afar waiting to take her opportunity to become Regmans sidekick. A figure burst from the shadows the tall Scandinavian looking figure with blonde flowing locks, a thing of beauty came flying into the action, Regmans eyes and penis lit up as the viking queen sprung into action 'THWACK' she headbutted silk glove right in the knuckles knocking him finger less, the dildo army tried to penetrate her defense <font color="#990033">'SHMACK' 'BALOWW' 'BOFF' </font>she knocked out their batteries leaving them powerless. She bags up the dildos and puts some novelty hand cuffs on the Silk Glove ready for the cavalry to arrive.  "Regman let's go, the police will be here soon"
Regman wipes away his tears, and gets to his feet standing over him was the beauty that saved him, he reaches out and slaps her arse "Hey there baby, ASL?" The figure turns around swinging her long blonde hair, extending her hand "you can call me Bork Girl" She removes the hair from her face, beautiful piercing blue eyes and what appears to be a stubbly beard, Regman pukes in his mouth "what the fucking fuck" he shakes hand with the man/woman known as Bork Girl. "You alright pal, yeah nice one for that fella, get you a beer in?"
Bork Girl flutters her eye lids and tucks her testicles back in her skirt "Sure"

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Regman and Bork Girl enter the through the back door, haha back door..get it because they're both dudes, Regmans launches a piercing glare towards where Tsuface was sitting except he was no longer there "FUCK" Regman flies off into a rage kicking over the bar furniture, he launches an opened handed slap to the first person he see's "REGMAN SLAP" Though it appeared to be a young boy who had come to tell his father
dinner was ready, all red faced and embarrassed at his fuck up Regman pays the young boy a dollar and proceeds to sit down where Tsu-Face was he picks up the left over cigar and puffs it as if he was trying to get in the mind of Tsu-Face. Regman looks over at Bork girl, attracting all the male attention in the joint flirting relentlessly and continuously tucking her balls in to keep the free drinks coming and the good times rolling
The out of nowhere 'BA-OLLOCK' Regman gets slapped with a blackjack and bagged over the head, Was Regman about to succumb to a sexual assault? "Not that Bag or head Narrator, come on behave" Regman muffled through the bag "BORHHMMM GUMHMHMH, HEMMMMMHP" Bork girl was too busy entertaining and looking for a good time, the flirty little hussy was a terrible side kick Always tucking her balls in at the wrong fucking time. 

Regman was dragged into the alley, "What the fuck is this DEJAVU?" and bundled into the back of a car, there was a horrible stench of cigar smoke and poitin, he knew instantly who the fuck this was "Tsuface, you sour face potato cunt what is the meaning of this"  Tsuface turns to Regman and replies "How could you have not saw this coming Regman, we've never seen eye to eye"  "Because you're a short arse monacle wearing potato bastard thats why" Tsuface raises his cane and calls out "BY THE POWER OF STARCH" this was Tsu-Faces signature saying, he would say it everytime he wanted to power up, he slaps Regman out cold. A wake up slap was issued to Regman as he lay unconscious slowly coming around, he no longer has a bag on his head  he was tied to a chair in what appeared to be a green house. "Tsu Face you rotten son a bitch where are you!" After a while of screaming and hollering, the door opens Tsu Face enters and stands to one side there was another figure emerging it appeared to be a woman of sorts, as the figure moved closer Regman started to gasp No, it can not be he muttered Poison Danni entered the room "Oh shit it's you, I thought you were dead, stay the fuck away from me i'll smash your lips off with a shovel" It was clear Tsu Face was under Poison Dannis spell, she could bewitch you with just one kiss. A beautiful yet intelligent woman that had used her assets for crime, seducing and scheming her way up the ladder of the criminal empire within the rotten apple, Regman had a run  in with Poison Danni just once when he kicked her in the bulbs, what did she want from Regman? There only one way to find out. Regman shouts out to Poison Danni in an aggressive tone "What do you want from me?" In a softly spoken voice she replies, "I want you to join me, I'm taking over this shit hole and I need you out of the way to do so. I could just kill you but where's the fun it that, I can control your mind with just one kiss" Regman starts thrashing about in his chair struggling to get free from the rops that bound him there, there's no way Regman could do criminal activities he'd rather be dead, fighting crime is his natural Viagra. Poison Danni moves in and Regman looks shit out of luck..

As another episode of Regman draws to it's end we find ourself asking the questions, Did Bork Girl get laid? Was putting her sexual desires before Regman worth it? Was it just a quickiw and she come to Regmans rescue in the nick of time? Or will Poison Danni get her wish and take over the criminal core of the Rotten Apple? Find out next time On the adventures of REGMAN.

Du-da-du-da-du-da-du-da Regmannn Regmannn

On the next episode of Regman, Still reeling from the loss of his lover and useful storage unit instead of looking for the murderer of Boxie, Regman turns to drink and hookers. Will he realise that there has always been one true love inside him, the fighting of crime or will he just wallow in self pity and retire from the crime scene?