Afro stands before the crowd once again. He had found the book and was had deciphered more of the text ready for a reading.

"Ladies and Gentlemen it took me a while to find it, but I tracked down the damned thief that stole my book and I took his head clean off for it!"

Afro hopes his lie is convincing enough, he didn't want to admit it was in his back pocket the whole time.

"I don't think this.." Afro holds up the book for the crowd's inspection.. "Requires any introduction! So I will proceed now and read you more stories of the gods..."


"Once upon a time, there was a God named Squishus-Validus. He keeps watch over human-kind, ensuring that our world runs smoothly and they didn't encounter any problems interacting with their environment. There are other gods too; Tiggius-Mightius - who kills off those poor people who are schizophrenic, Helpus-Deskus - who answers everybody's prayers, Almighty-Anubis - who shatters worlds (on a regular basis, so I've heard), Enkindlus-Silentium - who nobody has ever seen or even heard of, they say he is silent as the shadows. There are some that say the man that walks the streets cleaning the trash is a God, but what do they know?

Today's story focusses on Squishus-Validus, and continues from where I left off last time." Afro scans the pages looking for where he finished. "Ahh yes, I remember."

Afro takes a sip of his water and clears his throat.

"So, Squishus-Validus had created himself as the most attractive straight male body that his mind's eye could imagine. He soon found himself a suitable mate, and took her to the most wonderful place he could think of. Now the Bible doesn't specify where exactly that place was, but we do know that he wooed her with the immortal line 'If you were on the menu here, you'd be a McGorgeous'. After a relatively short meal and a lack of conversation he decided to take her to the highest class drink and music establishment he could think of. Whilst there he encountered a lovely looking chap who offered him some pills, he told Squishus that if he gave one of those to his 'lady' friend then he would be sure to get some 'special time' with her later. So Squishus popped it in her drink, and partied like there was no tomorrow. Once Squishus had had enough (8pm) he decided it was time to try his luck.. He asked her if she wanted to leave and head home for the night which she agreed to.

On the way home Squishus started feeling excited about what lay ahead, so he told his date (who was giving him a piggyback home) to slow down to allow him to savour the moment. Once they arrived at her "house" she invited Squishus in for a coffee. He decided to decline.

It is not written in this book what occured on that night, but Squishus himself did comment upon it;"

"I gave her roofies, turned out it was aspirin and she STILL used the headache excuse!!"

"I am not one to judge, so I will allow you to draw your own conclusions from that. Until next time, goodbye."

Afro drinks the remainder of his bottle of water, tucks his book carefully in his front pocket this time and wanders off leaving the crowd buzzing behind him.

Yet another excellent story from your Bible, Sir. May we hope for a regular reading, portrayed in such vivid fashion for us poor souls that do not often get the chance to hear such enlightening words of wisdom that are contained in your bible?

The illustrations, themselves, are enough to astound us mere mortals who have to contend with borrowing from the local public library

Another excellent story from your magical book, with some great  visual aids this time.

I wait in anticipation for the next story. Thank you.

Well, if it were me I would have made my way in and looked through that mess for some kind of left overs, I mean there has gotta be a wing or slice of pizza around there somewhere guaranteed! I could then have left a happy man…

But this mysterious man seems to have same way when it comes to his decisions, and you can only respect them. Once again one hell of a read, and I was wondering what this fine specimen of a lady might be up to these days, if anyone knows id like to know how much such a ride costs…

Great story with a fantastic moral, probably. great fun to read though.

Man.. if the girl has a headache, then give her another drink or another asprin and lets get to business. Time is money friend, and we aint got time for this!!

Struts with an arm over a beautiful woman on each side

Good story man, loved the visual aids and the lesson learned. Sometimes you just cant force it.. or can you

Rory, surely there is a moral somewhere within this story. A moral wrapped inside a parable. Either way it is not up to us mortals to stain such a divine story with our own interpretations. Our job is to blindly follow Squishus-Validus and the teachings of AfroSamurai. I for one am anticipating the 3rd book of Squishus and hope it can answer the nagging questions 'why am i here?', 'what is the meaning of it all?'

Kikuchiyo is overtaken by the holy spirit, drops to the floor and begins shaking violently and speaking in tongues.

I have heard (softly on the streets) there is  rebellion being plan.

I have heard that many do not beleve in your words my kind sir and soon (I hear) the gods will die on our streets.

These people are powerful and they do not believe in the gods you speak of.

Kismet stood in the street, eagerly listening to the next installment of the curious tales of Celestial Beings. After looking at the portrait of Squishus-Validus, and hearing the lengths he will go to for a good time, she all to suddenly realised what people meant by having a 'fear of the Gods'.

I for one would like to thank you for your readings AfroSamurai. I wasn't much of a believer in Gods before, but considering the evidence you put forward here, I feel I can no longer doubt their power!

Kismet walks away mumbling and looking over her shoulder

Another great story from that bible of yours, I'm sure it entertained all because it definitely did with me.

C.P. grimaces from the thought that raced through her head.

That suitable mate is going to give me nightmares for weeks though hehe!

Stormy whilst I would love to commit to regular readings, it takes time to translate the ancient language contained within this book. As for the third book of Squishus - I have still not located this, most people believe it to be simply a myth and I am intent on discovering the truth behind the matter.

I am glad you all enjoyed my reading. I aim to please.

Afro nods and waves and walks off to talk with a few familiar faces.