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| Saturday Night Fight | Started by: Cathy_Parks on Dec 22, '07 18:04 |
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Cathy Parks sashays to the centre of the boxing ring as the microphone lowers to meet her height. She stares at the practically bare seating area and swears under her breath - it seems that some fucking idiot hadn't bothered to sell any tickets for the first fight. She'd sent her men out into the Streets to force people to come and watch about 10 minutes ago, but only time would tell as to whether anyone would come and watch. Not thinking any more of it, she begins to speak. "The Red Fez Connection, in association with Poppy/Zeb productions and sponsored by the Magical BOING! itself, is proud to present the first of (hopefully) many Saturday Night Fights for your viewing pleasure!! "Our contestants tonight in the "fat bastard" weight category, are our main event and who will be duking it out for the grand sum of absolutely fuck allllll!!!!" Cathy pauses for dramatic effect, wishing she'd have decided to get pissed up before shouting out this utter bollocks to an empty hall. However empty the place is, the atmosphere is electric. The air heavy with the anticipation of the event that is soon to come, the heavy blows, the KOs and the fight of two men battling for victory. And if any fucker had been watching, Cathy was sure they'd be engaging in a murmur of tense whispers over what the outcome of the fight would be. "And now for my introduction. Our first contestant, weighing in at an impressive 250 pounds at least and hailing from London, England; is none other than the eponymous, the baldymous, the "i'll sell your facking mather too if it makes me a quick buck", FRANK "THE MAGICAL 3RD" BUTCHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" ~*~ DISCLAIMER: The various moves and punches in this fight will be decided by the roll of a dice a la Risk. Also feel free to post here as members of the audience. |
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*Frank arrives amid a plethora of moody motors, the peroxide blonde's skimpilly dressed pretending to drive them* *Frank finally takes his cuban out of his mouth, rolls his neck and gets his game face on* Lets AVE it! |
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| Reply by: Frank_Butcher at Dec 22, '07 18:18 | |
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*LIVE FOREVEER BLAAAAAZING IN THE BACKGROUND* A skinny runt of a man enters the ring, almost pikey like without the hardness to back up his motor mouth. YES YES my fans i know you all want to see me knock out this big bad has never even fucking beeeeeeeeeeen. The Funky skunky manc from belgium. *Blows his opponent a kiss and gives him a quick wink* NOW LETS FUCKING AVEEEEE IT! ! ! ! |
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| Reply by: MIA at Dec 22, '07 18:21 | |
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Cathy watches as the rather large, and strangely tanned man gets into the ring, his rather generous belly, hanging over his dazzling shorts. Feeling slightly nautious, she looks away and gets onto introducing the next fighter. The Magical 3rd is followed shortly afterwards by his opponant, who of course was an absolute visual treat. "Our other contestant, weighing in at considerably less but who really gives a fuck, let's be honest, hailing from Manchester, England; the man slut himself, the unstoppable 'nudes' getting machine, the one, he fucking only M. "The Skunky funky motha fucka from manc" I. A.!!! "And now.. LET'S GET READYYYYYY TOOOO RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Cathy steps out of the ring and sits down in the commentator box just as the bell goes for the start of the first round. |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 18:26 | |
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| *gives a wank (possibly an 'i' in that word but fuck it) to all his adoring female thong throwing slutz0rs in the crowd* | |
| Reply by: MIA at Dec 22, '07 18:27 | |
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*eyeballs MIA* Lets ave it large sunshine! *has a properly filled banana hammock* |
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| Reply by: Frank_Butcher at Dec 22, '07 18:49 | |
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Goosington strolls into the arena, wearing on of those long grey trench coats favoured by flashers and Columbo. He takes a seat ringside, and eyes up the two fighters prowling around the ring. I'll put 10 grand on the skinny Manc. Do I have any takers? That cockney's got no chance. He waves a wad of bills in the air, looking around for willing gambling types. |
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| Reply by: Goosington at Dec 22, '07 18:53 | |
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Mr Santoro struts into the venue where the boxing is being held, he looks around and instantly notices that there is not much atmosphere because there is a lack of an audience . Tony is flabbergasted because the two amateur boxing are leaving it all online the line. Big Shot after big shot they are both throwing bombs at each over. Mr Santoro decides to take advantage of the decline in numbers by going to the bar where there is no cue Hey, what's going on? Was it a poor production team that made a unprepared event or will more people turn up for the later fights? Also a water please. |
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| Reply by: Tony_Santoro at Dec 22, '07 18:53 | |
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*adjusts his banana in its hammock* Your lucky i cant slap you round the face with this, im guessing your the strong silent type? Im more of the dance like a butterfly sting like a bee, end up on my arse like a wino type person! |
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| Reply by: MIA at Dec 22, '07 18:53 | |
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(*the dice is rolled*) "AAAANNNNND the fight's underway! "M.I.A. the considerably lighter combatant out of the two men, starts using his superior footwork. He's skipping around the ring and snapping swift jabs into Butcher's face which seems to resemble that of a constipated bulldog - BUT nevertheless, the procedings are an excitement to watch. "Frank seems to be taking the hits well, OH but MIA catches him clean on the chin and the big man starts throwing wild swings - giant haymakers. The skinny Belgian seems to dodge them easily though, bobbing and weaving his head. The chase is on, but with Butcher throwing such big swings, it's questionable as to whether his stamina will hold out for all 12 rounds!!! "Annnnnd there goes the bell. The first round over. Oh but what is this??? MIA blows Butcher a cheeky kiss and the two corners go at it. The cutmen are wielding tubs of vaseline and the MIA's second seems to have his opposite in a headlock. Can the referee calm them down. Oh a dirty backhand there from the ref, but yes the two are finally back in their corners. |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 18:55 | |
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(*rolls the dice*) "And the call goes for the seconds to leave the ring and there's the bell. The Second Round is underway. What we'll see from these obviously amateur fighters, no one can say. But in terms of entertainment, the only thing better would be a lapdance from Moretay." Cathy has a coughing fit accompanied with blushes and then continues. "And MIA goes to fight on the outside again, using his jab effectively and persistantly tap tap tapping at the face of Butcher. The Magical Third is chasing the Belgian around the ring again none of his big punches connecting. The fight is all one way from ringside, but OH! WHAT IS THIS? MIA GETS HIS WANG OUT!!! A TAUNT UNSEEN IN ANY BOXING RING!!! Cathy tilts her head to one side. "AND IT'S BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT IT'D BE! Butcher utilises this gap in the thinner man's defence and rams home a big left hook to the body. But his guard is dropped, the Manc unleashes a flurry of jabs followed by a big right that connect's with Frank's temple. OH AND HE'S DOWN!!! HE'S DOWN!!! BUTCHER GOES DOWN LIKE A CHEAP HOOKER!!! WHERE IS THE MAGICAL THIRD WHEN YOU NEED IT?! "Dancing rather prevocatively in the corner, MIA watches as the referee starts the count. "ONE... TWO... THREE... "Butcher's getting up. HE'S GETTING UP!! He's on his feet but he's dazed and not in a mystical "yaaaaaaa!" mystical way. CAN THE MANC FINISH IT?! "And there's the bell. Butcher saved by the bell. But surely this is MIA's fight. Can he come back from this???!" |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 19:26 | |
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*Frank goes back to his corner, spitting venomous diatribe but he knows hes getting out boxed* *Frank hears his major trainor 'jabbawocky' say "get close, rough him up on the inside. double up the jabs, go the body and unleash the left hood. *Frank has just spent 2 rounds of having his head punched and translates that to:- the ocean is good, the whales love you, cover me in evaporated milk (did i say that out loud?) next round please! |
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| Reply by: Frank_Butcher at Dec 22, '07 19:49 | |
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-canine- stumbles to his ringside seat. He was pushed harshing into it. Enjoy the fuckin fight, he was told. Moments ago he was just walking down the street when two men accosted and shoved fifty dollars into his hand. He was ordered to follow them. What the hell he thought. So here he was. Watching a fight. He didn't know crap about boxing but it was something to do. The first round was already over. The second begiinning, the fight in the corner just now was interesting but he wasn't sure if it was part of the show |
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| Reply by: -canine- at Dec 22, '07 19:52 | |
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Sal stands up and starts shouting. Butcher!!! Live up to your name... BUTCHER! BUTCHER! BUTCHER! |
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| Reply by: Sal_Giaquinto at Dec 22, '07 19:53 | |
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Sweat and blood splatter on Goose's face from the best boxers south of the Arctic circle. He jumps up and starts yelling, cheering for MIA. Keep it up! Keep smacking the cockney bastard! Realising that nobody took up the $10,000 wager at the start of the fight, he pockets his money and tries to make do with the fact that his chosen fighter is winning, even though he stands to win nothing. |
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| Reply by: Goosington at Dec 22, '07 19:53 | |
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Cathy Parks wipes her brow, a fight that at first seemed so one sided was now unravelling into a different story altogether. It was now the 8th round, but the previous had seen both parties exchanging incredible blows - one in particular straight to Frank's family jewels had sent him careening to the ring floor. Both men were looking tired, but there could only be one winner. One outcome. "And we're into the 8th round - ladies and gentleman, it quite clearly is ONNNNN!!! "Frank shuffles out to meet the Belgian whose footwork is still impeccable despite the heavy blows he's been dealt. What is noticable though is that his hand speed has been greatly reduced by some well placed body shots from the big man. "Butcher works the jab and corners off the Belgian who is bobbing and weaving like a pair of bingo wings in the wind. The Magical Third unleashes a peach of an upper folllowed by a big haymaker which scrapes past the face of MIA. "Oh that looks like a bad cut there!!! But the big man isn't stopping. He's got his taste of blood and now goes to work. A left! Another left! He's on the body. MIA can't get out of the corner and the crowd is on it's feet. "Left hook to the body, lowering the hands, straight right, then another, he's like Bambi on ice he can't withstand this onslaught, then a good old right cross that knocks him out of his boxing shorts and shows him to be wearing... "LADIES UNDIES!? IT APPEARS MIA HAS BEEN SHOPPING AT THE SAME BOUTIQUE AS THAT MCTAVISH FELLA, BUT HE'S DOWN AND WHAT'S THIS?? THE REFEREE IS WAVING HIS ARMS THE BELL SOUNDS OUT. IT'S A KNOCK OUT. MIA HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT!!! "The crowds are screaming, the Belgian's corner signals for the stretcher whilst Frank stands with his arms aloft, thrusting the air. Cathy suddenly regrets that dodgy kebab she had earlier. "A WIN. AN INCREDIBLE COME BACK FROM THE LONDONER!!! Is Butcher speaking? What was that? Oh the Big Man mouths the word "BOING!" Can it be true? Can the power of the magical 3rd and the BOING! actually exist? After seeing such a great comeback, it would be hard to believe overwise!!!" |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 20:20 | |
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*Frank dances, which, in reality is an old man scratching his arse in a maniacal way* ADRIAN! *Frank realises he doesn't actually know any called adrian and tries to moonwalk insteed* However, we have an 'executive' bout that i think, you could be drawn too fight fans. Of course i'll fight the next wannabee fighter. but, what do you, the people of our world think? Leader versus leader? *lights a cuban and winks* bring it on, these are fluffers, the biggies are on pay per view. |
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| Reply by: Frank_Butcher at Dec 22, '07 20:36 | |
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Cathy steps into the ring after one of her button men holds the ropes for her. The microphone is lowered again and she begins to speak. "First off congratulations to our winner today. This was the first of many fights to come, we hope. And we will make the arrangements for the fights, but we want to know who you would like to see fighting. "So your input here and now would be greatly appreciated!" |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 20:41 | |
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| Cathy Parks versus Nikki Phoenix. In a big pit of chocolate pudding, yeah? | |
| Reply by: Goosington at Dec 22, '07 20:44 | |
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"If Nikki wouldn't mind getting knocked out in the first round, then of course we can arrange that." Cathy tilts her fez to a jaunty angle - she does after all mean business. |
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| Reply by: Cathy_Parks at Dec 22, '07 21:01 | |
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