Good day humans. My name is Bear and I have come here today because for too long you humans have encroached on our lands, and brutally murdered my bear brothers and sisters. As such I have been left with no choice but to go Rogue. Although, we bears are solitary animals mostly, so you may say I am just going Bear...It is really up to you.

Before you all scatter in fear I will make my formal demands. I would demand that each and every human pay me tribute of $500. Now, I will be clear, this payment will not ensure that I will not maul you to death, it is just a means by which you may clear your conscience for all of the atrocities you have carried out on my kind. 

We Bears are fair minded animals, and therefore I will give you some idea of what you are now up against. I have acquired one of you human guns, and have used it to kill 1 unfortunate person. This gun is what you humans would normally refer to as 'a cannon'. In addition to this human gun, I also have claws, and teeth, and you can tell by the recent photograph that my friend Steven took when we were on vacation last year, that I am pretty large. Not fat large, actually pretty normal sized for a Bear now that I think about it.

Ok, now as my first act I have shot at Cruel, not because of any personal grudge, but mostly because he is in the same city as me, and his name represents the cruel attitudes that you humans have towards Bears.

Damn, that shot came really close though trust me. I shouldn't have eaten all that honey before shooting, now the gun is all sticky. 

I understand your desire for revenge, but you have picked the wrong group of people to exact that revenge on.  Even a bear, as ferocious as they are, in possession of a "cannon" is nothing compared to the ferocity of this world.  Don't let the fine balance that we maintain fool you.  I have a feeling that you are about to find yourself on the receiving end of a "cannon" before long.

Wow that is quite the frightening scenario you've laid before us humans, Mr. Bear. I have thought about it and decided that I won't be sending you any money. In fact it's made me decide to invest in bear skin rugs. I guess I will just have to hope that you don't find out I'm in Detroit.

Telemachus starts applying T Rex urine

Can I get a discount? Instead of sending $500k can I send $3?

Ashlynn waits pensively to find out. She just cant bring herself to pawn off her possessions just for 500k.

I believe the rambling beast meant $500. Not $500,000,Ashlynn.

Little bit more of a plan was needed. No?

Oh right right. Sorry too much to drink today I suppose or heat stroke. Thanks -Chaotic-

I assume that, as the resident wolf, I did not owe a $500 payment like the humans?

Although dead, i would like to thank him for his feeble attempt at taking my life.

I am honored and feel special that i was chosen as his first/only shot.

p.s Bear's suck.

I am pretty sure he was just a guy dressed up in a bear suit trying to con everyone out of $500.

So I remain the sole non-domesticated animal in the mafia?