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| An Open Apology | Started by: Cathy_Parks on Dec 24, '07 20:46 |
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Cathy walks heavy heartedly into the Streets, dark circles under her eyes. Turning to face several onlookers she takes a deep breath and pulls out a piece of paper from her pocket - beginning to read. "I'm here to make a public apology to the children of the world.. "There's been an unfortunate accident and.. Well let me explain first of all. "Y'see I'd decided to hit the hay earlier this evening after quite a lot of stress. I'd been food shopping at the Philadelphia Fish Market earlier in the day - and with Mama Parks staying with me for at least a week, I had to make sure we had the freshest fish for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. This meal, which many of you will know as La Vigilia Napoletana, was a family tradition and it was the first time The Parks would be eating together in Philadelphia. "Well, of course Mama had to come to the market with me to make sure I didn't fuck up - I may well run my own business in the Six Cities, but if I couldn't get the fish right, in Mama's eyes I was a total 'fallimento'. And after a whole day of being told that I need to fatten up and how my fedora does nothing for the size of my breasts, I was pretty tired. We had our food and then I added a few extra bucks to the envelopes for the guys on the Red Fez Compound watch and decided I'd get some needed shut eye. "Next thing I know, the telephone by my bed was ringing. I wanted to ignore the fucking thing - McTavish had been giving me drunken phone calls for the past week - but you never know when it could be, an 'emergency'. So I pick up the telephone and it's one of my guys from the watch telling me that he'd spotted some Minchione on the roof, but when he'd looked again there was no one there. He'd already sent some guys to investigate, but I should definitely be on my guard. "I grabbed my piece and put on a long robe before padding out of my room and down the hall, grimacing slightly at the loud snores coming from Uncle Luciano's room. Some of the bodyguards were out and alert and we quickly organised ourselves to inspect some of the rooms in the main building. So I walk into my office and low and behold, some mook in a red suit was wandering around with a huge sack. "Rubbing my eyes, I checked to see if I had seen correctly after taking cover near the door frame. I said to myself, "Cathy, some fuck is trying to make off with our Family earnings, either that or Frank Butcher's been on the 70 proof moonshine again.." But I was pretty sure that Frank was spending Christmas Eve with his favourite Vietnamese Prostitute and Christmas Day at the nearest VD clinic - so, wasting no time, I rounded on the guy and put one in each knee cap, badda bing. "To my surprise, this sicko was masquerading as Old St. Nick himself - that was until I saw the large lump of coal under my Christmas tree (no chance that a gal like me could ever be put in the 'nice' list). What had I done? Fucking Santa on my office floor bleeding out of his knees and half of the world expecting presents for the morning. "Well, to cut a long story short, I've sent some of my guys take care of the whole 'presents' situation and last I heard they were half way over Egypt, but I have a feeling that a1capon3 is probably going to skip out on a few countries and some of the households visited may be... well stripped of some of it's property. "I know what I did was a travesty, so please accept my apology. And don't worry, Santa is doing just fine (especially after he agreed to pay me 10% of his earnings). But yeah. Sorry kids and well, Merry Christmas I guess." |
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*feels a nasty burning sensation and uses Cathy's 'seafood sauce' as a yogurt of relief* mmmmmmmmm better! |
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| Reply by: Frank_Butcher at Dec 24, '07 20:56 | |
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I knew it! It really couldn't have been anyone else, you see. There is one thing I don't understand though, if Santa knows where all the naughty girls live and you obviously being one of them, why didn't he go down the chimney in your bedroom to give his 'gift'...I know I would have ;) |
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| Reply by: Hannibal at Dec 24, '07 22:25 | |
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| Let's leave Miss Park's sex habits out of this!! She's a nice girl usually so she did deserve what Santa was going to give her. | |
| Reply by: Kallis at Dec 25, '07 09:36 | |
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| well at least stanta had some help for the day | |
| Reply by: Ryllow at Dec 25, '07 09:47 | |
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"- McTavish had been giving me drunken phone calls for the past week -" Has he been calling you too? I thought it was a rogue caller and i do not like to be interrupted when I am having my beauty sleep. So one could imagine I was not really friendly in my response to the unexspected phone call. Maybe he dialed a wrong number, at least i hope that's the case, considering the content. But don't worry about it Cathy, before i go to sleep I will foward my phone to you :) |
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| Reply by: Joe_Dalton at Dec 26, '07 04:20 | |
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