The Scientific Mafiosa - Creative finance edition - Monetising the Barble.

Editors note: This is not the Barble, it merely uses the Barble as a case study. Sorry about that.

CONTENT IS KING, so goes the oft repeated mantra - and current king amongst original content in this criminal underworld is undoubtedly the Gwarble Barble. This weekly publication (use of the word "weekly" being this article's first and last use of barble-esque sarcasm) draws huge crowds of readers, huge numbers of opinions and much needed lively debate and controversy to the world. Yet it is given away for free.

Despite the protestations of it's authors, huge amounts of work must go into producing each edition, yet there is, but for gains in reputation, no reward whatsoever for this work. Gwarble has turned the Gwarble Barble into the first well-known and appreciated MR brand in recent memory, yet this branding excercise isn't generating any profits. This in turn, we assume, is the reason for the dampening of output of late by Barble Towers and leaves the rest of us starved of our Barbley fix. Something ought to change.

This paper shall argue that with the re-introduction of the Mafia Returns Stock Exchange (MRSE) there is a better way for publications like the Barble (or indeed any future in-demand piece of original content) to get their message across to the masses free at point of use, whilst simultaneously generating profit.

The sequence of monetisation that The Scientific Mafiosa would suggest is as follows:

Firstly - as has already been done by Gwarble - build a brand in the streets. This ensures that people will get hooked and will want to read the next installment so that when you move to monetise your brand you already have an audience.

Secondly, discarding the pay-per-view model as useless in a bootlegging culture, sell the right to publish the next issue of your paper in a secret deal to the bar that pays the highest price - this price will obviously be relative to how much the bar owner thinks that his shares in his business are likely to increase by the buzz and conversation generated by the publication.

Thirdly, buy shares in that bar for yourself, there's no harm in benefiting twice after all.

Fourthly, when the paper is published in the bar that you agreed on, announce the publication in the streets, along with details of which city & bar to find it in, specifically asking that people only comment in the sponsor bar so that they can support the content producers. To assuage doubts as to reductions in readership stemming from keeping publication to one city, I for one would personally have no issue with flying to LA or whichever city to read a new edition of a paper I enjoy. I suspect neither would others.

Lastly, sell the shares that you own in the bar once you figure they've reached their peak price. You win, the bar owner wins (provided he pays a sensible price to begin with) and the public get their fix of original content. Nobody loses!

All that's left to do is create another edition and repeat the process again as soon as possible!

In this way do we envisage creative and original commentators profiting and being rewarded for the hard work that they do in creating unique content. This will hopefully incentivise people to try harder in producing worthwhile content. Furthermore, driving crowds of people to bars for their content on a regular basis will likely increase traffic to surrounding bars, finally boosting the numbers that frequent the often under populated bar districts.

We used the Barble here as a well known example, but there is no reason that outspoken individuals whos opinions attract crowds couldn't use exactly the same technique. If a Godfather has an announcement, why not benefit financially from it? This is the mafia after all.

It's all about business!

Discuss...

You want him to... Put out... In a bar... What on earth?

Can't seem to go anywhere these days without someone as camp as a row of pink tents spouting something that attempts to convince you it makes sense. Usually it's in the Barble itself, but fair play to Fredio for hopping on the proverbial bandwagon with Gwarble and Colin.

I see this for what it really is though. It's a moneymaking scheme for Fredio to make some cash and spend it in Gwarble's local bar. On Gwarble. Or Colin after a few drinks, alcohol causes his already low standards to slip further.