The room was spinning around her, faster and faster. She could hear voices but they were muffled, the sounds blurring together as much as the images of the people in front of her. She stumbled backwards, catching herself on the arm of a chair that she managed to lower herself into, lowering her head into her hands. Her breathing was shallow and for a moment she thought she was going to pass out.

This couldn’t be happening. Not like this. Not so soon.

A few months earlier......

Stefania spun in circles, the white dress she wore spreading around her as her laughter carried across the room. She was radiating beauty on that day, with a crown of flowers weaved through her light brown hair, her eyes sparkling. Surrounded by friends and family, light shining through the floor to ceiling windows, Stefania couldn’t imagine a more wonderful day to be getting married. Then again, even if the clouds were black in the sky and thunder was rumbling, it wouldn’t change her mood. Not today.

“Spin Zia, spin!” The little girl’s voice was full of laughter itself as Stefania held her hands and spun in circles with her. Having just turned three, Sophia was the pride and joy of Stefania’s life, an angel in a child’s body. She wasn’t the child’s Aunt (her family tree was rather complicated) but Sophia called her Zia nonetheless. Dressed in a white gown of her own, the child would be the flower girl in today’s wedding, a job she was very proud of.

A stern glance from Stefania’s grandmother told her that the enjoyment was enough. Stefania spun the child once more before covering her in kisses and then letting her go. After the death of her own parents, Stefania had been raised by her grandparents. They were an older couple who had thought they were entering their golden years free of the responsibility of children but they had treated Stefania as their own and, quite honestly, she’d been spoiled rotten.

“No frowning today mama, I won’t allow it.” Stefania placed a kiss upon her grandmother’s cheek before stepping back.

“I’ll stop frowning when you finish getting ready. You’re going to be late to your own wedding; your grandfather is already waiting.”

“Well, it’s my wedding, isn’t it? They can’t exactly go forward without me!” She grinned again, laughing as she allowed her bridesmaids to finish clasping on the last of her jewelry, put her veil on her head and start shuffling every one out of the room.

She had arranged to see her grandfather first, in a little room near the chapel. He was there waiting for her when she arrived, with her bouquet in hand. She’d never imagined anything could stun her grandfather the way he was that day – he seemed almost speechless when she entered the room and he first spotted her. His face was worn and for once it seemed to show his age; she could even swear she saw tears in his eyes, but she wasn't quite sure.

“Mia piccola principessa....” He'd given her the nickname as a young child - little princess. He was the only one to still use it and honestly, she would be disappointed if he didn't. She loved her grandfather and knew she owed everything to him, even this marriage. After all, she'd never have met her soon-to-be husband if not for her grandfather's work.

She moved close to him, embracing him and placing a kiss upon each cheek, whispering softly “Ti amo papa.” He returned her embrace for a long moment before he stepped back, once again the composed man she was used to seeing.

“Come, before we’re late,” He offered her his arm and she took it gratefully. She headed out of the room to the chapel, where she would marry the love of her life. Where they would make promises to have and to hold one another, through sickness and health.

Until death did them part.

The next few days seemed to move in a blur. She went through the motions every day like she was supposed to – she woke up, got dressed, sat among the people that filled their home. Most days she sat in a stunned silence, not speaking. People came and went from the home, leaving food and expressing their condolences. Her grandmother tried to feed her, and Stefania did what she could to take some of the worry from the older woman. She barely saw her grandfather, who was shut up in his office trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

She remembered the day of the funeral, however vaguely. Her grandmother had dressed her in a simple black gown, black gloves, a hat with a small veil that covered her eyes. She remembered sitting by his coffin as the priest ran the service, her hands folded neatly in her lap. She remembered how bright and shiny the day seemed, and how she couldn't understand why the clouds in the sky didn't reflect the darkness of what had happened. She could even remember being the last one there, laying a rose down before she was led, or practically dragged really, away.

Stefania knew what had gone wrong. She’d heard some of the men talking one day, she’d heard the whispers.

Stefania had been duped. And the outcome of it was the death of her husband.

Running her finger along the edge of her wine glass, Stefania laughed softly, her eyes twinkling as she shared conversation with the man across the table from her. Her flirty demeanor, the way she leaned forward to draw the man close, the softness of her voice - it was all an act of course. She’d been sent here by her grandfather to obtain some information, something he had trained her for over the course of her teen years.

To some it might seem like her grandfather was using her but little did they know that Stefania had fought to be able to do this job. Her grandfather had tried to shelter her from learning about the work that he did; criminal activities that he’d wanted to distance her from. But Stefania had persisted and had gone to great lengths to prove her usefulness. She showed her grandfather how she could gather information for him, once bringing him the news of a takedown that was set to happen the next day thanks to a chatty goomba trying to impress her with the information. She’d gotten valuable information on drug shipments, news on black market items going up for sale, places where her grandfather could expand and take over local businesses.

Tonight was her biggest job yet and likely her last for a while. She'd be a married woman soon and she wanted to focus on getting their household together, and maybe after that they would start a family of their own. There once was a time she would have hated the idea, giving up work to become a housewife. But now it seemed rather appealing. 

Still, she had to get through this last assignment. Her grandfather had been tipped off to a large drug shipment coming into one of the ports. Her family had several enemies, both here in the old country and in America; most recently one crew in particular had been pushing hard to take her grandfather down and Stefania had been working overtime to try and gather plans on their next moves. They were ambitious folks, she would give them that much credit, and staying ahead of them had been challenging. 

That’s what led her here tonight, a small restaurant near the docks, having dinner with a ship captain who had been overheard making claims about how he would soon be coming into a large amount of money. Stefania was sent to learn if this Captain was in charge of bringing the drugs into port and if so, when and where.

By the end of the night Stefania would have the information that she had come for, or at least…she would think that she did. She would deliver this information back to her grandfather and he would take it from there.

What she would learn later is that the information she’d been given was false. Well, it was fed to her on purpose at least. She’d spend hours upon hours going over every part of her conversation with the ship captain. She truly believed that he hadn’t known the truth about the set up and sure enough a few weeks after everything happened the man would be found dead himself. She couldn’t have known she was being led into a trap because the man giving her the information was being truthful as far as he knew. Still she would blame herself. She would always blame herself for the outcome of that night. 

Matteo had been working with her grandfather for a few years before Stefania had met him. They were both young and she was rather sheltered until she convinced her grandfather to start teaching her his business. Working around men all day was hard enough but when you were the boss’s granddaughter you were virtually off limits and people made sure to keep their distance.

Still, even the threat of her grandfather’s wrath couldn’t keep the two apart. They’d met when she’d found some information that was tied to one of his corrupt agents and her grandfather had tasked her with handling the situation. She’d brought the news to Matteo and he’d quickly seen that the man was swimming with the fishes, as the saying goes. After that incident they had become fast friends and over time, something more developed.

Matteo was a hard worker and had been noticed by her grandfather even before their relationship had started blossoming. To say it had helped him at all would be incredibly incorrect – if anything, Stefania had wanted to intervene when her grandfather had kept Matteo down, made him work twice as hard as any of the others to make any forward progress. But Matteo had told her not too, insisted he could handle it on his own, and he had. He worked hard enough to earn her grandfather’s respect so that not only did he become her husband, he became one of her grandfather’s most trusted capos.

That night, with the updated information on when the drugs were coming into the dock, her grandfather had tasked her recently promoted husband with running the job. He had gotten a crew together of some of his strongest and most trusted men, about ten in total. They would go down to the docks, intercept the drug shipment and take the drugs for themselves. Stefania didn’t do these sorts of jobs – once she got the information, she left the shooting to others. She knew how to use a gun, her husband had made sure of that, but she hated it and preferred to stay away from them whenever possible. Besides, she’d been married only a short time and was still getting the two of them settled into their new home. Her focus was here now, on her life as a married woman.

Stefania wasn’t particularly worried when he left that night, no more then she would be on any other job. They were criminals and they understood that danger was part of the job. But as the night grew later and later, she started to get the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. This job shouldn’t have taken so long, not with the number of people they’d brought. By now she should have gotten word, a phone call or a runner come to tell her everything had gone as planned.

After a few hours of pacing, Stefania asked her must trusted bodyguard to drive her to her grandfather’s house. It was time she learned what had happened; if Matteo wasn’t there, surely her grandfather would have some idea of where he was.

She knew as soon as she arrived that it hadn’t gone as planned. Men were running every which way, armed to the teeth. It had been a fight even to get inside the driveway, her grandfather’s guards checking and double checking every car that approached the house. Within minutes she had learned that the men at the docks had been ambushed. Her grandfather had rounded up more men to fight back but the damage was already done.

Rushing through the house she’d grown up in, she burst into her grandfather’s office, pushing the doors open. No one dared stop her, not that night. The room grew silent when she entered, all eyes on her, and she knew then. She met her grandfather’s eyes, her voice barely above a whisper. “Papa?”

Her grandfather’s face was forever stern. He stared back at her, clearly torn between who he was in his role and who he was as her grandfather. A slight shake of his head was all she needed to see to know that her husband hadn’t made it back. Would never make it back.

The room was spinning around her, faster and faster. She could hear voices but they were muffled, the sounds blurring together as much as the images of the people in front of her. She stumbled backwards, catching herself on the arm of a chair that she managed to lower herself into, lowering her head into her hands. Her breathing was shallow and for a moment she thought she was going to pass out.

This couldn’t be happening. Not like this. Not so soon.

"This can't be happening to me." That was all she could think. "This is just a dream........."

But it wasn't a dream. Matteo was dead and nothing would ever be the same.