should i sleep with one eye open and have someone taste my food for me?

That's never a bad idea, though you wouldn't get much sleep that way and someone else would be eating your food.

haha well if your only gonna share for now it means somethings going to happen to me, though it seems people want me dead now as it is so it might not be by your hand at all.

I don't think it would ever be by my hand. I'm not one for confrontation and so far you have done me no wrong and I have no need to see you dead. 

haha confrontation is exciting but i can see why it might be frowned upon here, ive noticed people get testy when you do something they do not like ;p

I might have a few strong words to share, and on occasion I like to be a smart ass bitch, but that's about as far as my violence goes.

to lazy to be violent though apperantly i'm a wise ass and stubborn. and ive got the tigger song stuck in my head 

A wise ass is better than a dumb ass though. And it is a catchy song. No one can blame you for that :)

i never thought of that before i need to grow a long white beard now 

You totally should. I would too... But I can't...

it'll take for ever! but i'm up to the task

You can do it! Maybe...

i doubt it prolly be itchy as hell

At first. But then it becomes normal and no more itch. Probably.

maybe but imagine all the grooming make sure i dont have crap in it all the time

Yeah, good point. Fuck it. Not worth the time and effort. Just buy a fake beard and glue it on every now and then.

i do have a pirate beard in my closet i could use

There ya go! Problem solved.

booya i need any eyepatch and a peg leg

Don't forget the hook hand!