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| The Fucking News; Issue 1 | Started by: Wagner on Jan 24, '18 19:27 |
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Who The Fuck is Brand And What The Fuck Does He Want? Brand, and then his son, ReBrand, made quite an impact on the Streets recently. Brand wanted to be paid to speak on the Streets, which I guess is fair enough. His speeches were met with derision, outright anger, and eventually a bullet to the head (although he allegedly shot at a sponsored). But some interesting questions did arise. We live in a time when KateLogan makes 7 speeches listened to by nobody, save for his mom and her hairdresser, and where 50 listens is considered a success. So, in true The Fucking News style, we are wanting to ask, in appropriate language, what the FUCK is going on? What's happened to the Streets? What can be done? The best answer to these questions will be given a significant sum of money as a prize. One of our sponsors recently came into an unexpectedly huge sum of cash, and we will offer up a ninth of that as a prize. That's $1,000,000.00 to the person who summaries best what happened to the Streets. We at The Fucking News have our own thoughts, of course, but want to hear what our readership think. |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 19:35 | |
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Interview With a Prominent Member of This Thing of Ours - Honesty We sent the following telegram to Honesty: To: Honesty Hello Honesty, I'm writing a newspaper. Could I interview you? He replied To: Wagner Pardon me, but I only speak with those I know and trust. I bid you farewell and a good day.
Analysis Well, first things first; who the FUCK does Honesty think he is? Who is he anyway? Some buffoon who was forced to disband his crew, then demoted, then sneaked in as a LHM. Question to your readership Should Honesty have given the interview? Should we have interviewed him? |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 19:44 | |
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Fyodor, Leeds, Freelancer, Bebe and Roadrunner815 - What Did They Spend the Cash On? In an unusual feature, we interview those who received cash from The Mafia Newspaper. What did they spend the cash on, we hear you wondering? Well wonder no more, because we fucking well asked them and, in most cases, they fucking well told us. First up, is Leeds, who cheekily demanded to know who we were! Then eventually settled down and sent us this telegram: To: Wagner Or... these 100k spent on booze and women for a big party haha
Haha indeed! A joker. Or a clown? You decide?
Next up, we spoke to Bebe, an altogether more interesting person. Bebe replied; To: Wagner I used it to tip people that attended Olympia’s funeral.
We sincerely hope that Insomnia doesn't execute Bebe for clearly hating him and glorying the esteemed and deceased Olympia.
Fyodor, meanwhile, seems intent on a sex scandal: To: Wagner Gonna buy myself a titty robot Enjoy that, Dude!
Roadrunner815 and Freelancer didn't respond. Maybe they're with Honesty. |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 20:50 | |
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Interview With a Prominent Member of This Thing of Ours - Cherry After the rebuff from Honesty, we decided to ask Cherry for an interview. She's related to Melis, a well known seeker of attention and drama, so we were fairly sure she'd say yes. She did say yes, and we present the interview to you below. Cherry's responses are IN ITALICS INTERVIEW Hello Cherry, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me My newspaper will be The Fucking News and you are the first and most senior person that I have interviewed. Do you feel that that is an honour? Cherry I am not sure. Is this a new newspaper? Yes, this will be a new newspaper, aimed at capturing the essence of the times that we live in. I'll just say you feel it's an honour for the purposes of journalistic flow So, what are your thoughts on the takedown of LA? Cherry Oh that sounds like a good idea. I have no thoughts on the takedown. The reasons were given by Insomnia in the streets. Do you believe him? Cherry I believe there was a risk and a need to act, yes. But shouldn't we be moving away from entire city takedowns? Cherry That is not up to me to decide. Getting back to things a bit more personal to you Brand Cherry What about Brand? He was one of yours. Do you think he should have been killed? Cherry I do believe he should have been killed. That would be why he ended up dead. But why? His speeches were at least popular Cherry He was not killed because of street speaking. He was killed because he shot at a sponsored member of another family. Who did he shoot at? I have had information supplied to me that it was a fabrication Cherry Considering he mentioned it himself in the streets, I highly doubt that it was fabricated. He seems to have support and people working with him. Can you comment on that? Cherry I can't comment on it. Who impresses you on the Streets at the moment? Cherry I would have to say KateLogan. Interesting. It is the opinion of The Fucking News that KateLogan isn't good at capturing an audience's attention Cherry I am captured by what KateLogan writes. What do you think of Honesty? This is off record Cherry I don't know Honesty well enough to have an opinion. He isn't really that interesting, we agree Anyway, ReBrand, Brand's son, was killed for allegedly attempting to extort his CL. Do you believe this? Cherry Cherry I am not sure enjoy was the right word but I think it went decent
ANALYSIS Cherry played it safe, she didnt' get drawn on anything dangerous or controvertial. She seems unconcerned that there are people who want her dead and she seems to accept the "company line" on Brand and ReBrand's deaths. What do you think, dear reader? |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 21:12 | |
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The Fucking News - Concluding Editorial
A considerable amount of time and effort went into making The Fucking News and we hope that you enjoy it. We would like to thank Cherry and Honesty for their permission to publish the interviews, and the other contributors. We set about writing this newspaper to add to, not detract, from that which is published on the Streets at present. But we must offer genuine and sincere criticism. KateLogan, you are really shit at street speeches. You must stop. It's embarrassing. Nobody cares, except Cherry, and she basically felt sorry for you. Please, just stop it. You're making people literally shoot themselves. |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 21:15 | |
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NEXT ISSUE
SEND US YOUR IDEAS FOR ARTICLES AND INTERVIEWS! |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 21:16 | |
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| The journalistic quality of this paper is absolutely beautiful. You sir, have found yourself a new reader. I will be sure to pay it forward and also partake in some of the freelance creative writing you have requested. | |
| Reply by: Valathus at Jan 24, '18 22:14 | |
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Thank you, Valathus. I wonder what Frankie-Messina thinks of The Fucking News? |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 22:15 | |
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Wow, very funny, sir. I especially like the part where you said I gave you permission to publish this - what you call- interview. At least it's a joke, because we're allowed to lie in jokes for the sake of humor. Here, I've got one: What's the difference between maple syrup and Honesty? One is sweet and the other isn't! Get it?! The lie is that we are both sweet! I'm so sweet I give people diabetes! :3 |
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| Reply by: Honesty at Jan 24, '18 22:16 | |
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Thanks for the $25k, Frankie-Messina. Some words would be welcome, too. |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 24, '18 22:32 | |
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"I always enjoy reading the papers that people present here in the streets. As I mentioned earlier, I hope that the payment helps keep your operation going. It's my pleasure to support the many creative people in this thing of ours. Oh and you'll have my ad for next issue soon." She tipped her at. "Have a good day!" |
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| Reply by: Frankie-Messina at Jan 24, '18 22:54 | |
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While I strongly disagree with your assessment of some *ahem* street speakers and types of contributions, it's always great to see active newspapers in the streets. I'd also like to see some answers to your question:
For my part, I think that nothing really "happened" to the streets. People have been looking at the streets and saying "woe is me, the old days were so much better" for so long, that the point that is now considered "the good old days" is years after all this wailing and gnashing of teeth even began. I'll admit that population and repetition of the same discussions has had some effect, but I honestly think a lot of this attitude comes from people comparing the all time Hall of Fame greatest hits their bloodline has ever seen in the old days to the current normal Wednesday offerings. Nostalgia- and cherry picking- are both powerful things. What can be done? I think people can try to bring interesting discussions, newspapers, and events to the streets that draw people in and increase participation- as you're doing with this newspaper. I am, however, interested in seeing the opinions of others on this topic. |
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| Reply by: KateLogan at Jan 24, '18 23:46 | |
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UPDATE - Issue 2, including an Interview With KateLogan, coming soon |
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| Reply by: Wagner at Jan 25, '18 17:09 | |
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As requested by Wagner, I am posting (with typo edits) my street speech which speaks on the question as to what just in the “Fuck” happened to the Streets: To those who are friends of mine, and certainly to those who have become friends of 'ours’ - recently the late Mr. Brand posed a question to our society en masse, about the state of the 'Streets.' His father, ReBrand of course, continued that discussion - to much dismay and heartache. In similar fashion, Mr. Wagner with "The Fucking News" has also brought to light, the 'inveritable' state of affairs that are our streets and asks for similar understanding and reconciliation. He also offers a noticeable sum of money ($1,000,000) to the person who can best describe how and why things are just the way they are. After hours of my own quiet reflection and contemplation, I decided to do some digging in my ancestors safety box and discovered many, many years worth of notes that have proven rather insightful. As my own recognizance could not paint the entire picture, I hope this renewed understanding may: The 'Streets' as we have always commonly referred to it, was once a rather lively place - full of gaudiness, verboseness, and other rather creative (dare I say 'Shakespearian') displays of drama and conflict. There was once a time where the mob acted more like a mob, demanding answers for acts of open aggression and often responding in kind. A moment in history where powerful words of ideality and a desire to achieve true greatness drove men beyond just the skills of a firearm or speed of the draw. Made Men from all corners of our world, gathered to address the issues of their time; en grandeur. It was an age where words COULD be just as impactful, as insightful, and as powerful as actions - if you can believe in such a thing. It was an era of enlightened thinking and harsh living. A time for new ideas, bold experimentation, and tenacious leadership. Alas, no longer. For now the Streets are quiet, and static - lacking the dynamism our ancestors once new. Perhaps like all of us, time has worn out these Streets in old age. Perhaps like us now, the Streets are calmer, quieter, and less intrepid. A terrifying reflection of the monster we have all become - complacent. For it is complacency that drives all men to madness, and all women to death. It is complacency that asks from us nothing - but takes from us, everything. It is complacency that allows Godfathers to sit idly in lofty towers, pining over a horizon they cannot touch. It is complacency that has destroyed these Streets - our Streets. It is complacency that allows us to accept the illusions that have been pulled over our eyes to hide us from the truth - that we are all, dead already. So what then will become of our fare Streets? Will they too, decay and wash away with the sands of time? Will we remain idle, forever losing who we once were? Are our souls for sale and if so, has complacency already collected? I beg thee, I pray thee will look deep into thine own abyss and ask thyself - who is writing YOUR story? |
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| Reply by: Valathus at Jan 25, '18 21:57 | |
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Snowflakes are falling rapidly. Take Frankie for example. Then there is Wagner directing/dictating Valathus where togo with his thoughts. When Valathus leaps in good faith, Wagner nor anyone got shit to say. |
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| Reply by: Snowflakes at Jan 26, '18 03:25 | |
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Funny to read some old news |
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| Reply by: Whoops at Mar 11, '18 17:54 | |
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