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Stepping up for equal rights for watermelons Started by: AlejandroGuevara on Feb 08, '18 14:00

After a short meeting with Kaira, AlejandroGuevara felt it was time to step up for those in need.
So he grabbed a soapbox, placed it on the earth at the edge of the park and stepped up, whilst looking everyone in the crowd in the eye*.
Guevara inhaled deeply

Dear people.. 

He looked onto the crowd and paused.

Sorry, I have to stick to the facts. 

Dear person..

A very short while ago the news has reached me that there have been crimes being committed against innocent, harmless victims. As these victims do not have the right to speak.. least, that's why I think they don't speak.. ..I will take the right for them.

I received the heartbreaking news of terrible torture being made to watermelons. Personally, I have not witnessed these..

Alejandro looked up as if he was thanking something or someone in the sky

..but I have hear this from a very reliable source. And also from Kaira. So therefore, I feel the time has come to create an action group to help these poor living beings. It is time to stop people from:

a) sprinkling sodiumchloride on watermelons
b) throwing sodiumchloride on watermelons
c) dropping sodiumchloride on watermelons

and also, the most cruel form of all..

d) dipping pieces of watermelon in salt!

Hereby I want to announce that The Sodiumchoridelessness Rights for Watermelons Action Group has now been made official!

Alejandro holds a piece of paper in the air, clearly stamped.

This Action Group will not only raise awareness for the Rights of Watermelons, but perhaps also may, in certain cases, possibly, take action, if needed!

AlejandroGuevara stepped down from the box and smiles at Kaira.

Will you be my co-chairmanlady?

*Yes, at the same time, only James seemed to be there at first..

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Kaira's day seemed promising. She was coming outside from her cave after a few hours of meditation and was heading towards Shaggs's Lucky Hot Dog cart to buy some food when she met AlejandroGuevara and James. Alex was in the middle of telling a story about someone putting salt on cucumbers which apparently led to disastrous events. Kaira didn't find anything wrong with the way cucumbers were treated but suddenly remembered a story about one of her friends salting the watermelons.

Shock, terror and anger. You could see those emotions on AlejandroGuevara and James faces. The next thing Kaira noticed was Alejandro taking his soap box and starting a street speech.

Hearing him talking with so much passion about the poor watermelons and their suffering made Kaira feel like she should join forces with him and fight for the cause.

I would love to become the Co-Chairmanlady of this action group. 

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TheButcher was forced to attend this speech by kaira because simply he loves her cupcakes!

He stood there looking at the perfection (alejandroguevara), and in his mind he was like come just stio talking i want to go home and eat my cupcakes!

But listening to alejandro talking about watermelons being dipped in salt, he opened his eyes and time started to move so slow and listened carefully to what alejandro is saying.

The speech ends, TheButcher wondered why didn’t my Love mention me, do i not look like a watermelon supporter and a rights protector?!

james suddenly started to scream about Motherf*ckers dipping Watermelons in Salt so the Butcher got so excited he started yelling “YEAAAAH YEAAAAAAH, I WANT TO START TO SIGN ME IN!”
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Joy creeps around the building where the others are meeting.  She is dressed in her sinister looking cat suit.  In her pocket is a baggie full of something white, that is impossible to identify in the black of night.  She slowly removes it and dips a hefty slice of watermelon inside of it. 

Oh My God!  This is amazing.

Oddly enough, it is not salt...but what is it?  Joy continues her watermelon lovefest alone and in silence.

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Kaira sees Joy creeping in the background. She is ready to head towards her and invite her to join them in their fight for the cause when she suddenly sees something horrendous. Joy is dipping watermelon is something that resembles white powder.

Kaira feels blinded by rage and anger and gets a bag of salt and starts throwing it at Joy screaming.

Murderer! Criminal. This is blasphemy. How dare you do that to sacred watermelons?!

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Tony watched and listened to AlejandroGuevara as he spoke with such passion for the protection and support of watermelons. He knew that what Alejandro said was correct as they needed to do more to protect those innocent watermelons. He made his way to stand with Kaira, TheButcher, and James to show his support. 

"I agree with you Alejandro. We need to see some change. This is a worthy cause and you have my support."

Tony handed Alejandro an envelope and smiled. Then he made his way back into the crowd of spectators....

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Jones is standing idly in the middle of the crowd of three people that actually stopped to listen to the protests, when Kaira starts yelling at Joy and calling out for her criminal ways. Jones quickly takes a black bag from his pocket and after waving it around so to open it, he puts it over Joy, covering her from head to toe. He then grabs the bagged gangster bellow his right arm and walks out.

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Joy wiggles and squirms beneath Jones arm.  When he unceremoniously drops her on the ground outside of the Villiany HQ, she gets out of the bag and stands up, still eating her delicous coconut covered watermelon.  Jonesy looks puzzled.

What did you think it was anyway?  I have seriously never had anything more delicious in my life! 

Now, where is James?

James?  James?  Would you like some watermelon?  She calls out frantically.

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James stood staring down into his half-empty beer can, swaying slightly from side to side as he felt the alcohol begin consume his sober consciousness - taking his mind into another dimension. Despite his developing condition, he heard a very distinct and recognizable voice in the background that was echoing his name. 

He turned to find Joy rushing about clutching a watermelon, intent on offering him a slice. 

"Hell yeah I want some watermelon! I'll trade you a beer for a slice?" He asks with a grin, unsure as to why he is surrendering his beer for fruit. 

Turning towards AlejandroGuevara, he asks "So, what's the first step for SWAG?".

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It was clear how thrilled AlejandroGuevara was when Kaira accepted her nomination to be Co-Chairmanlady of the Action Group. 
Through his own tears, Guevara looked up to see James with tears welling up in his eyes as well, his hand on his heart and his fist up in the air. As he pledged his life-long loyalty to the SWAG, Alejandro felt this may have been the start to a proper movement. Something that had a true impact on society. Something that could become big..

Where do we start?!, James asked.

As if he felt this question coming, Alejandro pulled out a set of flyers and handed the empty black bag to Jones


The first step will be to spread these banners nationwide. We have to make people aware of the consequences, the cruelties, the suffering of these poor victims. We want no more crimes against watermelonity! So right here, right now! Here we start! 

AlejandroGuevara handed James a package of them and looked up as the crowd was growing.. TheButcher, very handsome, was standing next to James and started yelling loudly, right there apparently stood another fanatic protector of watermelon rights. And it was a handsome one! 

For a moment Alejandro was distracted, but when he came back to his senses, he climbed back on the soapbox to give another speech, when he saw the graceful Joy approaching, dipping watermelon in something whitish.. Then suddenly co-chairmanlady Kaira jumped into action, shouting at Joy, running at her, as Jones pulled the black flyer bag over her head in a struggle. 

Cocos! someone yelled, it was bloody cocos!

There was no harm done to watermelonrights!

It was cocos!



A huge sense of relieve filled the park as cocoscovered Joy crawled out of the bag, calling James to join her. 

Fruit for beer, fruit for beer, Monika started yelling. Alejandro wasn't sure where that came from, but he started to join her, meanwhile accepting TonyCastelli's enveloppe without opening it yet..

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Alejandro was furiousOnce again,  he stepped on a soapbox and addressed the crowd

I have seen evidence of plotting terrible crimes against watermelonity and even direct torture done to these poor melon beings by some medieval thinking coward named Shinni.

looking at Kaira, Joy and Jones, he asked..

I don't think we need to do it in he official way and ask TonyCastelli to take revenge in name of the watermelons, do we?!

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Kaira listened to AlejandroGuevara's speech agreeing with every word he said.

TheButcher bring your knives. I'd say we cut Shinni into pieces and sprinkle some salt. I'm sure TonyCastelli would be proud.

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Alejandro sees a furious TheButcher standing up, getting his knives, sharpening them and AlejandroGuevara smiles, thinking

Damn, that man is handsome..

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Shinni looks up at the people against salting watermelons. 

"Well aren't we being picking. You claim about caring about all of watermelon kind. But the fact is you still eat watermelons there for you don't care. And what about the tomatoes, cucumbers, cantaloupes, slugs, and snails? Sounds saltist to me."

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TheButcher approaches kaira, glaring everyone around because he noticed that Kaira is a little bit upset, he doesn’t like to see Kaira upset!

He had a long black classy coat on (the one you can’t afford) he stood beside Kaira and taps her shoulder, opens the coat and damn he had 15-20 knives in there, and whispered you point a slice! ChopChop he screamed.
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AlejandroGuevara couldn't believe what @Shinning just said.

Do I look like the co-chairman of the Sodiumchloridelessness Rights for Tomatoes Action Group? Does Kaira look like the co-chairmanlady of the Action Group for Sodiumchloridelessness Rights for Cucumbers? Does TheButcher look like he is the most fanatic member of the Sodiumchloridelessness Rights for Cantaloupes Action Group? And James, does he look..

Wait.. salt on Cantaloupes, you said?!

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Walking furiously to the mob of people Bearski starts chanting "WaterMellons are friends not food" We need to stop the commie vegans from poisoning our youth!

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Heathro needed to clear his head and one of the only ways he finds that possible is to take a nice brisk walk through the park.. but oh god was he wrong this time.. upon entering he couldn't help but over hear the blistering mob near the corner of the park so he decided to investigate further;





Not knowing what the hell was going on he decided to stick around for a bit longer in hope he would get some entertainment out it all before he has to get back to reality 

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As AlejandroGuevara stood there, side to side with Kaira, in front of a growing crowd of well-educated, truthful, integer, compassionate, responsible, empathic, caring, understanding, dedicated, attentive, cooperative people with a positive attitude and TheButcher, he was truely touched. These were the wonderful people that understood the cruelties done to watermelons. He handed the just arrived Bearski a pamphlet.

A bit further in the park, totally alone, desolated, deserted, abandoned, lonely, stood Shinni. She looked sad.

As he climbed back on the soapbox, Guevara started again
I would look that miserable too.. he said, as he pointed towards the solitary woman
..if I had no soul!

Alejandro scraped his throat, calmly saying
Welcome, Heathro, and thank you for volunteering for this great cause. 

Increasing volume, he continued
so, an opposition party has formed, can we name that a party if it just contains one soulless member, I ask you? 

Apparently there are people.. sorry, there is a person, that do not understand.. sorry.. does not understand, that sodium chloride is an ionic compound. That it forms sodium and chloride ions once it comes into contact with water, which is not only part of the name, but also one of the main compounds of which the watermelon exists.

That there is an internal balance in every of the watermelon's cells of the amount of these ions and that changing the relative number of one of these ions across a cell’s membrane is a way to change a cell. That this is so important that there are special pumps in the cell membranes to move sodium and chloride ions in and out to maintain a correct balance or a net flow! When some bastard dumps salt onto a watermelon, they.. I mean she, immediately interrupt, sorry.. Interrupts, that balance or flow and adds toxic concentrations of these ions to the watermelon!


We have to go and spread the word to our world and make people.. sorry again.. that single person.. feel what watermelons feel!

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Shinni looked up at AlejandroGuevara, showing no reaction when the man accidentally called him a she. Any other man would have been offended but it is a common enough occurrence that he doesn't let it bother him. 

"You mistake my way of thinking as misery. In fact, I am not lonely nor miserable so with this I will form the Anti-Sodiumchloridelessness Rights for Watermelons Action Group but is Willing to Protect the Rights of Cantaloupe, Cucumbers, Tomatoes, and Gastropods Faction. And to prove my dedication I will not eat a single cantaloupe, cucumber, tomatoes, or pour a single grain of salt on the poor defenseless and innocent Gastropods." Shini said, raising his head as a small challenge to the leader of the Action Group.

Meanwhile, the Golden Eagle perched on the short man's head kind of glanced around at everyone and didn't quite understand what everyone was squawking about. Especially the man beneath him and the man sitting on some kind of crate. The only thing he got out of this whole ordeal is that humans can be so strange and silly at the same time.

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