The Fucking Mafia News; Vol 3

Published by Montague, Edited by Montague, inspired by a few other, sadly deceased, giants among us

This is The Fucking Mafia News (FMN), a new publication to plug the gap caused by the death of Melvin and of the various publishers of The Fucking News.

Last volume was excellent, yet raised less than $500k in sales - want a quality newspaper?  Then ante up!

Thanks to everyone who contributed and for all of your words of encouragement.

Right, let's get started.

FatherMacklePenny

Father Penny, a Made Member of Freelancer's crew (more on him later), stunned the world by retiring.  But it is apparent that he did something shortly before retirement.  His boss, Freelancer, had this to say;

"You did a really stupid thing and truly fucked us over."

A civilian, named Jesse, appeared on these shores long enough to deliver this eulogy;

"The world will never know what you did. Future generations will revile you; in Seattle as a dispicable traitor with no sense of honor, and in Las Vegas as a monster who unleashed a nuclear catastrophe. You will go down in official history as a war criminal.

I think you wanted Freelancer, of all people, to know the truth. You wanted to live on in his memory, not as a solider, but as a Priest. But - You were forbidden to tell Freelancer. And that's why you told me. FatherMacklePenny, history will never know what you did.

No one will ever learn the truth. Your story... Your debriefing, will endure only in my heart. Everything he did, he did for his country. He sacrificed his life and his honour for his native land. He was a real hero. He was a true patriot."

So, what went down?  We aren't quite sure.  But read on, for things take a very strange turn...

The Retirement of Freelancer

Seattle, and the wider community, was left reeling after the retirement of Freelancer.  An alleged Don, and leader of a significant crime family, Freelancer represented what many consider to be the “old values” of respect, Omerta and meritocracy.

Speaking exclusively to The FMN, someone close to Freelancer’s upper structure said “he wasn’t happy with everything being run by Project Mayhem – he point blank refused to take orders from outside cities on how to run his crew.  He saw, before many people have, how things are going.  The purges are coming back – at least with Disorder, he was honest about how things were.”

So, what happened?  

Insomnia appeared at the funeral, but most people were disrespectful.  Some, it seems, paid for their disrespect with their lives.  

Creation (more on him later), was shot dead.

So, Project Mayhem seem to be the force to be reckoned with, and caused the retirement of a Don.  Or did they?  Syndicate certainly has power and reach, but will he be a dictator?  Some seem to think so.  I wonder if he will order the death of reporters?

James_Coonan, Creation, Michael_Spilotro; A Case Study in Stupidity

One of our reporters, Montague, was walking outside of the office when a really, really stupid looking man named Michael_Spilotro approached...  He said "hey pal can you keep my family name out of your news paper and creation out too"

Well, is this fucking imbecile a fascist?  Doesn't he know about the age old rule in this society about not targeting the press?

Apparently, not, and this can only be the fault of James_Coonan.  Coonan, we are reliably informed, derives much of his wealth and power from his wife,who inherited much of her wealth and power from her mother, who derived much of her wealth and power from WS collecting for the Disorder Regime Upper Structure.  This woman, Maeve, was shot dead by a disparate group of gun-men.

But Coonan is making a name for himself, he's Irish, so unaccustomed to the ways of the Italian mob. 

Going after journalists?  Really?

Creation got himself killed too, for what?  Disprecting Freelancer?  Would Coonan have the balls to stand up to Syndicate like that?

We are doubtfull.  Coonan is the weakest link, and this paper predict that his family will fall next.

History; Coonan's Mother-in-law's Execution

Today, we look back to a perilous time, when gunshots rang out constantly, and a group of gun-toting vigilantes dispensed their own brand of justice on those they considered enemies.

Maeve_The_Fox was shot dead in a clinical strike by a group styling itself The POLHF.  They said her death was because of what she did working for the most powerful Godfather this thing has ever seen, Disorder.  They discuss the hit here.

The POLHF killed a number of people for their alleged dealings with Disorder.  But Maeve_The_Fox was considered the wealthiest.  We presume her wealth persevered, and is currently funding Coonan.

Will James_Coonan admit the truth of this?

Unexplained Deaths

Wow!!  There's been a FUCKING LOAD of unexplained deaths!

Hcl - part of VictoriaValium's family.  What happened Victoria?  Why is one of your Made Men dead?  Same with MrGodman?

Genco - part of an esteemed and well connected bloodline, shot dead by his boss, the struggling James_Coonan, for sleeping too long?  Coonan, you're serious?

Adorkable - why are Alastor, Farmerboy and Vito_Landucci lying dead?  And who the fuck are you, anyway?

Explained deaths!

As above, but when we know what happened.  GangsterPriest was shot dead by Nicky.

Nicky, it seems, had a target in mind.  It was an effective hit.

Why?  We're working on that.  So maybe this should go in unexplained?  Hmm... 

Concussion!

Well, that's Vol 3.  Hope you enjoyed it.  We work hard to create this, so give generously.  We have to pay for a lot of our info.

Another good issue, keep it up, fun to read, have fun.

Thanks Whoops - noticed you haven't tipped...  *holds out hat*

"Oh look, another shitty newspaper to ignite." She sneered, looking at each and every section of the shitty newspaper. Who cares about free press, when free speech is a thing? She'd turn to the seller of these newspapers, if only it was the midget-like moron to think Creation or herself in the matter, was ever a he, shame. "Tell your boss, Creation's a she and death can easily be faked, a prime example being myself." She had a slight urge to just burn the stand alive, but yet again. She only burnt down the stacks of the FMN paper, leaving them to ashes before walking away.

"Explain my 'death', then. 'Disrespecting' FreeLance, what a joke." 

I really enjoy readying this, keep up the good work, its very informative

I must say that this is always entertaining.  Please keep up the good work. 

I'm just going to leave this little guy here. 🐇

"As per usual, you always give out interesting content and never fail to amaze on top of that." Obito extended his gratitude as far as it could, after leaving he turned the corner as per usual.

James_Coonan, you killed a man for his administrative skills?  Was it a particularly important list?

Maeve_The_Fox is alleged to have amassed a small fortune, before being killed by the POLHF.  Were you aware of your wife's bloodline?