Random walks into his newly refurnished Comedy club and and smiles

"Now this is what I call a great Club"

He proceeds to the stage area and the light man sines a bright light on the floor where Random stands, Random pull sup the microphone towards his face

"Testing Testing 1, 2"

Random looks over at where the crowd would sit and notices a spelling error on one of his chalk boards and calls over his manager Ornn

"What is this Comedy is spelt C, O, M ,E, D, Y not C, O, M, I, D, Y, Sort that out immediately"

The rules are also written on the wall

Rule 1. On your first visit you must come on stage and tell a joke

Rule 2. You must never have an empty glass

Rule 3. Have fun

Rule 4. Do not take offence to jokes said here, all jokes are said in a joke context purely for entertainment value

Rule 5. This is no ordinary Comedy club but a comedy battle, only one joke at a time you must then wait for a response before telling another joke

"So now you all understand the rules here is our first Guest Ornn, Please step on the stage and tell your best joke and I will Follow"

Ornn was just pouring some whisky in his glass when he heared his name. Random wanted him to get on the stage to tell the first joke of this comedy club. Ornn started stressing, he didn't knew what to say, he wasn't the biggest fun of jokes after all but at the end he saw that the crowd also wanted him to get on the stage, so he forgot about the stress and took the microphone.

" Ok. First of all good evening ladies and gentlmen, I hope that you're having fun with us in here. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs. Aaaahahahaha " Said Ornn with a big smile

Koopa stops by at Random's new Comedy Club. He does that since he hears a lot of people laughing inside and is curious what is happening in there. Koopa goes to the bar and orders a Negroni. The bar tender still has Ttars of laughter. He retells Koopa Ornns snow-joke. Koopa grins, empties his drink, enters the stage and picks up the microphone. The stage lights blind him. Nonetheless, Koopa sees many expectant faces - most of them familiar to him.

"Good evening, ladies and gentleman. ALright, here we go:

Husband and wife enter their son's bedroom and find a sadomasochism magazine on the bed. Enraged, the wife looks at her husband. 'What are we supposed to do now?' she asks him. 'Well I think it's best not to beat him now.', he replies."

Eddie was no stranger to a fun time. He found himself inside of a comedy club where the rules was that on his first visit he had to get up on the stage and tell a joke. Jesus, they didn’t ask for much did they. 

He gets his whiskey and gets up on the stage, taking the mic. 

“Guy goes to the doctors and say he says Doctor, Doctor. Every morning I take a shit 8am. The Doctor says well what’s the issue? Guy says I wake up at 9am everyday!”

Rosaleen and Bentley were having a great time on their last night in Detroit for a while.  They had enjoyed a nice dinner at the Steakhouse and a couple of drink.  They were in a very good mood and decided to get some laughs at Random ‘s Detroit Comedy Cub. 

It was pretty crowded but found a nice table toward the front that had enough room for Nighttrid to join them if he decided to come. On the second drink, Bentley turns to Rosaleen.

Why don’t you get up there and tell a few of your jokes?

She replied.   Why don’t you get up there?

You are scared nothing but chicken shit.   I’ll give you $500 if you get up there. He said.

Rosaleen got up, walked to the stage, sat her drink down on the table there,  grabbed the mic and cleared her throat.

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. 

I think I will start out by getting a little tough on men.

My girlfriend to me last night she had her man in her bed gasping for breath and calling her name?
I told her she didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

That went over pretty well. I stopped and took a sip of my drink.

Another one of my girlfriends comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" She says, "The doctor  told me that for a forty-five-year-old woman, I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five-year-old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

Mostly the women in the audience laughed. Again I stopped to take another sip from my drink and turned back to the audience.

A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush boulders.

He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other man on the earth.

He was turned into a woman.

By this time, a man was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage.

OK, OK enough of men jokes.  Here’s one for you

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me.

But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Gold watch instead.
 

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Bentley just laughed when some in the crowd started saying One more, One more.

Ok, OK one more

One day these two best friends Jay and Bob were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.  Since no one was around for miles, Bob called a hospital and told the doctor"Quick Quick I need your help my friend got bit by a snake on his penis" the doctor told him

"Son your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself," Bob asked" Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom," The doctor says "Sorry there's nothing we can do"

So Bob goes running to his friend and when he gets there Jay says with pain " So what did the doctor say?" Bob says" Doctor said your gonna die.

To a round of applause, Rosaleen picked up the rest of her drink and made her way back to her seat. She turned to Bentley my $500, please.

Random takes to the stage and looks around at the crowd

"Hello every one, hope you  are all having a good night"

"I have a Friend who's addicted to brake fluid"

"He says he can stop any time.....!

 GreyFox chuckled a bit before he drank the final sip of his bourbon and sighed a bit before ordering another drink to keep him company on stage. As he received his drink he made his way on stage and adjusted the microphone before taking a sip of bourbon.

"Evening folks I'll give you a taste of the heat I bring and then take me seat like the rest. Ok so why are there gates around cemeteries?"  GreyFox paused for a moment and took a sip before finishing the joke. "Well it's because people are dying to get in!"

With a smile GreyFox took another drink and nodded to the crowd before he walked off the stage to take his place back in front of the bar.

Arturo always appreciated a nice telling of jokes, and he got that for sure while he was hanging out in the Detroit Comedy Club. He had waited a bit, listening to those before him, but finally mustered up the courage to go up himself. 

He tapped the mic, making sure it still worked. "Heya folks, this thing on? Eh, good." He shuffled around on stage for a second before settling down and looking straight out into the audience.

"You see, a friend of mine used to have a dog, may it rest in peace." Arturo lowered his head solemnly. "Nice and fluffy golden retriever. It loved to chase after whatever toy or ball you were throwing around to play with it. Awesome dog."

Arturo shuffled on the stage for a second, gesturing that he was going to continue, "One day, my friend comes over to my house and asks me for advice. He says, 'Hey Arturo- my dog keeps chasing people on a bike, what should I do?' I say, hey Jimmy- my friend's name- I haven't got much expertise in the field of animals, but you know what I would do? Take the bike away from it!" 

Arturo smiled as the crowd seemed to approve of the joke, and walked offstage to allow for the next performer. 

Random clears his throat

"What is a Pumpkin's Circumference divided by a pumpkins diameter?"

"Pumpkin Pi......." 

Random Drops the Mic and walks off stage

Debby was sitting in her hotel room in Detroit, where she decided that her last night in the city deserved to be a night at the Detroit Comedy Club. Opening the closet she found her red dress with a neckline a little more generous, and decided she would use that along with a pair of ruby ​​earrings that resembled the shade of her eyes. "Perfect" she thought to herself as she reached for her purse in order to walk to the hotel desk and order a taxi.

The taxi parked in front of a slightly older, but in good condition, building. After paying the taxi driver Debby walked to the concierge and bought a ticket for the show. Shortly past the entrance there was a poster exposing the rules of the club. Debby laughed at the first rule, and thought of a joke as she entered the room.

The place was wonderful with luminaries and fun decorations. The stage was on the other side, and the show had already begun. Debby sat down at one of the vacant tables and ordered a glass of champagne in the hope of getting a little more cheerful in order to go to the stage and fulfill the rule.

“The jokes are really good." - A woman said at a nearby table. -" Why don’t we go up there and tell our jokes? "

“I think it's a good idea, ma'am, "Debby replied as she got up and waited for the woman to accompany her to the stage.

Both climbed the steps, and stood behind the microphone. Debby signalled that she wanted to tell her joke first, and the woman could tell hers after.

“Good evening guys, yes I had to drink a bit to get some courage.” Debby said in a dull way “Okay, here is my joke”

A stutterer walks in to a doctor’s office and says, “Doc-c-c-tor, my s-s-s-stuttering is a real p-p-pain in the n-n-neck, please help.”

The doctor examines him and finally finds the root of the problem: “Well, Mr Denby, the thing is, your pecker is too big and takes up too much blood that would normally go to your brain. We have to operate and take at least a half of it off.”

A month after the operation the stutterer comes back for a check-up and sighs, “Doctor, it really helped my stuttering and that is a relief. But my wife is very unhappy with the situation. Could the amputated bit be sewn back on, please?”

Doctor: “Sorry, but n-n-n-n-no.”

Random walk up on the stage returning after his time in Rehab recovering for his drug addiction you see the man sway from side to side

"I just brought an expensive Car, only to find the reverse gear is broken"

"There's no going back now"

Random collapses 

Xanxus stepped up onto the stage. He had a wide grin on his face as he thought about the joke that he wanted to tell.

He wrapped his fingers around the microphone and for a few seconds he thought over exactly how he wanted to say this. He looked into the crowd and have a wide smile before he began.

“ A man walking along a beach was in prayer. Suddenly, he said out loud, Lord! Grant me one wish! The sunny beach clouded over above him and in a booming voice the lord and father said, Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you a wish.

The man looked up into the heavens and said, Father I  want a build a bridge between the two islands of my country, so that I may travel between them so that I visit someone I love dearly whenever I desire. 

“That is a very materialistic thing to ask, the amount of work and the supports it would take to build a bridge of that distance across such deep waters is immense. It is hard to justify your desire for worldly things. Take some time to think of another wish, one that would honor and  glorify me.

The man took a long time to think of another wish, finally he said, Well Father I wish I could understand women. I want to know what they feel. I want to know what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment and what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, I want to be able to make a woman truly happy.

The Lord replied, You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”

LillisMolly smiled at this joints perfectly way to get jokes from people, he comes in and takes a stand at the scene and tells the people watching a small joke he loved himself since childhood.

"It was two tomatoes about to cross a busy road, the first rolled over easily and then he said to his friend, come on know, and he started his role and suddenly a car came and smashed him, his friend then shouted, come on now ketchup!"

Jester thought he was pretty fuckin funny. He always appreciated a little joking and laughter wherever he went.  It was natural that he check this place out.  

Jester walked in and was immediately met with a few rules.  They were all easy enough for him to follow and he sidled off to his right and grabbed himself a nice stiff rum and lit a smoke.  At the coat check the patron offered to take his hat, but he's a fucking jester - that shit belongs on his head.

He sits down to enjoy the comedy, but he was quickly rushed up onto stage.  You know, those were the rules. A mic was placed in his hand and he really was a natural at performing.  He'd been doing it for the people for years.

"love2hate tried to tell me he had the body of a Greek God.  I had to explain to the dumbass that Buddha is not Greek"

Jester drops the mic.

Ba Dum Tsss.