The Byrne Notice - Issue 3

By Tara Byrne

In which we begin with a tired cliche of asking ourselves questions. What is this again?

This is a newspaper.

Wait. Issue 3? I don't remember-

Well, Issues 1 and 2 were a long time ago. You can find them here and here, if you're interested.

Wow, weren't those from the summer?

Yea... it's been a while.

So what changed? Why bring it back?

Well, there's a couple things. First, I had some personal stuff pop up. The usual business. Family complications. Illness. Life happens, ya know? So I've got a little more free time now, if you ignore the giant pile of paperwork that I should be doing instead. 

Also, the idea of adding something to the larger community came up once again in a discussion with my dear geriatric friend JackMezzo. Additionally, CassandraVilmont started a discussion about newspapers.

I don't know. We're just here.

So what is the point of this again?

To quote my great-grandmother, "One woman's most likely futile attempt to intermittently catalog, comment on, criticize, celebrate, and consider the goings on of our world in the streets and the various business districts."

Buckle up, kiddos.

We've got a hell of a lot to talk about.
 

Reminders: What you should expect from this publication

Enthusiastic Mediocrity. 

Disclaimers:

1) We have no sources

2) We have very little talent

3) We have even less motivation

4) We don't proofread.

5) Nothing in this paper is serious; anyone looking to be offended should look elsewhere.

Our Lead Story: (Almost) Everyone is Dead

Two days. Eight Godfathers. Sixteen Dons. Twenty-six Consiglieres. Probably some Earners.

We're going to stop counting here; you get the idea.

Unless you've been living under a rock (Hello Aloisus), you're aware of the devastating war that ravaged our shores.

On November 10th, the city of Chicago was attacked and Godmother Marie Lucania, Godfather JasonLeeScott, and all who served them were removed from power. This act was undertaken by the cities of Philadelphia, New York, and Detroit, according to Godfather Spaceman, who spoke in the streets once the chaos had subsided.

The staff of The Byrne Notice publicly thank Spaceman for these public remarks; when it comes to the removal of a city, it is both customary and proper for some reason to be provided. Sometimes, people call these reasons bullshit- but that's not the point. The point is that when people are killed, a reason is provided: that's why we're organized crime, as opposed to animals who kill each other without a word.

Anyways, Spaceman addressed the masses. 

He first commented on the long stretch of peace that had occurred since the past war of the spring before commenting that "this era has been an exception to what is more often than not a predictable cycle of regime churn that is so common on these shores."

Acknowledging this, Spaceman then proceeded to discuss why this peace had ended, discussing how particularly regarding the city of Chicago, "the openness that we shared at the beginning of the era appeared to have changed in its tone, and talk of improving the country and cutting through the noise had given way to discussing threats. While an amount of this is normal for any lasting regime after a certain period of time, the frequency of these conversations and their tone seemed to have changed."

Spaceman was complimentary when it came to discussing Godmother Lucania and her legacy, reflecting that:

...her influence on this world touches nearly every aspect of these cities as I speak to you. To carry the weight of so much on her shoulders after such a devastating war - and her success in helping fund, populate, and support the empty cities of the world at the time into a thriving, active criminal underground is a testament to her outstanding work ethic.

The unflinching dedication she had towards her organization and the level of care she afforded her members is one that we should ever be so lucky to experience in this life. History will - and should - remember Godmother Lucania in this way, as her role in shaping this world for the better over the past several months can't be overstated, and many - myself included - will miss her.

Salvatore_Luciano, Godfather of Detroit, added his own response in which he praised Marie but cautioned "When the people at the top stop looking forward and start looking backward things grow stagnant and rifts are grown."

He concluded by saying:

The decision to move on Chicago and Marie is not one that was taken lightly nor was it an easy decision. Its one that will pain me for a long time and I believe will taint my legacy. But in the end, all we can do as leaders is making decisions with the information we have available to us. Those decisions, Right or wrong, are the part of the job that none of us like or want to do. 

Marie should be remembered for work she put in and the good she did. In the end, she was killed for only trying to look out for her city and her people, which in itself is a messed up thing. People ask me what its like to be at the top and I tell them that every decision you make even if it is the right for you and your city can get you killed and that it is a thankless job where those decisions are judged by everyone. Taking out Chicago is something I will be judged for by everyone. 

The departed Salvatore_Luciano certainly read the future well; the day after Marie_Lucania was killed, our world found itself engulfed not only in a takedown of a single city, but a full scale war.

There is no speech to draw on when analyzing the rationale here; speeches tend to belong to the victors, assuming they are the aggressors. What we do know is that Detroit, New York, and Philadelphia were attacked by Las Vegas and Los Angeles; we can surmise that the impetus for this was the takedown for Chicago, but we cannot say for sure. Philadelphia, New York, and Detroit did not see fit to make a speech taking guesses about why they were attacked; we certainly can't fault them there. Answers must be sought from those who have left our world.

What we do know for sure is that many, many people lost their lives. Any attempt to catalog these fallen would be cursory and disrespectful simply due to the volume, so we will instead offer a blanket wish that all those who lost their lives find peace in the next.

Addendum: Even More People Died in Los Angeles/Seattle, but that seems to be a largely internal matter and so many other people died that we're going to just leave this one alone. Wait... are we still in the headline? That's it for this one.

Follow Up to Lead Story: Not Everyone is Dead

Where do we stand, as a society?

Moving in Alphabetical Order of Cities

Chicago

Leaders: Chicago is now under the direction of the Best Boy, Rubix. This loyal canine was previously always found at Spaceman's side, helping him run the city of Philadelphia. He is now the Acting Dogfather of Chicago. Alongside him in the South Side of the city is Cary_Grant, also formerly of Philadelphia.

Size: Chicago is currently made up of 31 members of this thing of ours.

Public VIPs: Chicago has burst onto the streets, with 4 people in the Top 15 VIP standings. CassandraVilmont, Lydia, Kaeden, and Nikolai have certainly made an early impression; with each of them at such a young age, no doubt the best is yet to come for this fearsome foursome.

Delaware City

Leaders: As always, Delaware City finds itself run by the largely ineffective homicidal maniac TylerDurden. 

Size: 562  547 and shrinking rapidly

Public VIPs: Although I have occasionally been harassed by mail by a "Durden", I've never seen one out in public.

Detroit

Leaders: After losing Salvatore_Luciano and others in the recent war, Detroit is now run by Godfather-Chairman DeeSe7en in Downtown DT, Godfather Assunto in Corktown, and Godfather Rampage in 12th Street. Other leaders include Beyond, Random, Becceh, and Soseki. 

Size: 99

Public VIPs: None

Las Vegas

Leaders: After the death of Godfather Ligambi, Las Vegas is now run by Godfather-Chairman Flexx-Mitchell and Godfather TwoB, accompanied by GrimReaper.

Size: 32

Public VIPs: None

Los Angeles

Leaders: Godfather-Chairman Sabrina is accompanied by The_Nun downtown and Maurice- in Pasadena.

Size: 37

Public VIPs: Sabrina - a champion of public activity, we wish her well on her quest!

New York

Leaders: Brooklyn's Godfather-Chairman Jemaine_Clement is accompanied by newly minted Godfather Space-pole in Manhattan; this city seems to have exploded since the war (in a good, growth way and not a bad, shrapnel-filling way)

Size: 111

Public VIPs: Zeitgeist, who has burst onto the scene with fervor... and seems intent on staking his claim to that territory. No doubt more members of the Big Apple will accompany him shortly.

Philadelphia

Leaders: Godfather-Chairman Spaceman in the Old City is flanked by his longtime Godfathers JackMezzo and Arya_Stark in South Philly and Bella Vista, respectively.

Size: 142

Public VIPs: Long gone are the days when Philadelphia monopolized the VIP board, but they still have seven members in the top 15 VIP spots. Charlie__Pavanno, Adonis, JaceCorso, Isabella-Luciano, LouisMezzo, GavinAndTaraByrne, and Viscorio represent a wide selection of the new and old, and they've certainly made an impact on the streets.

Seattle

Leaders: Godfather-Chairman Coltrane in Pioneer Square is accompanied by Godfather Leo_Maranzano in Ballard. Other crewleaders in the Emerald City include Richard and @JohnMartson

Size: 53

Public VIPs: None.

With so many changes in our world, we hope this primer has been helpful. To those who just recently assumed a new position as a crewleader or godfather, we wish you the best of luck! To those leaders who have continued to endure, we hope that you apply your wisdom and experience to help improve our society.

Famous Troubadour Presumed Dead

AlexanderKnight, a singular person in our world for both his talent and his business of choice, is dead. His death was announced by officials at St. Frances Xavier Hospital.

Having worked extensively with this young man, I find my words limited by my own grief. 

I can only say that the city of Philadelphia and our entire society have truly lost something with his passing. He's the closest thing America has seen to Orpheus, and his early death is just as tragic as any Greek myth.

Rest in Peace, Alexander Knight.

It Was Debates of Times, It Was Deworst of Times

Many words have already been written by others saying that "debates are dead" or "where have all the debates gone?"

But there are many, many good debate topics out there today, so I believe that statements about the absence of debates are objectively wrong. What I might argue instead, however, is that debates are less popular than they used to be.

Why is this? More competition on the streets? Less focus on these from leaders?

Here at The Byrne Notice, we'll do what we can to shine a spotlight on debates we consider worth your time. 

Just like the old Greek agora, speaking well in debates can certainly impress the right people; show your mind, show your thinking.

Here's a few to consider:

Jack Mezzo questions what would make you retire. Why do people call it quits? Where you draw the line? Contribute your thoughts here

Ronin questions why there are so many Wise Guys kicking around; reflection on the rank ensues. Check it out here

DustyKid states "Dead Godfathers. Happy Times." But even this controversial title generates no replies? What is the role of Godfather? What do Godfathers stand for? Are they all the same? Share your thoughts here

Business Recommendation

Looking for a good time? Feeling lucky? Check out The Tops: Casino and Restaurant in Detroit, managed by Charlie__Pavanno.

Have a evening of pleasure... or simply swing by to meet the busiest man in the seven cities.

I can personally attest to an excellent experience. 

Detroit: come for the drug prices, stay to make even more money at the casino...

Well, that's it for this particular issue. It's a little less volume and a little more summary than usual, but we expect to get more in depth when we're faced with the task of considering weeks, rather than months.

Do you have ideas for the paper? Please mail Tara Byrne HERE

Did you like the paper? Did you know that the two best ways of expressing your positive opinion can be found...

HERE

and 

HERE

Are you mad that the paper is back? Please mail all complaints c/o CassandraVilmont.

Until next time,

TB

A ruckus at Cassandra's front door sent her slowly shuffling towards the apartment hallway. She was woozy, and sleepy-voiced having just woken up from a deep sleep. It was way too early in the morning to be even getting up. She stopped at the door to open it, and her eyes slowly widened at what looked like to be a newspaper. Then they grew bigger, almost as if they were going to fall out of its sockets. She was getting deja vu - as she quickly headed back into the past to recall the first and second issues of The Byrne Notice. Oh, those were the times.

And now this!!

She thought of Tara Byrne and the encounter they shared on the streets, involving a discussion about bringing back those newspapers that always seemed to bring a smile on Cassandra's face. And on everyone else's face. As she picked up the rolled up newspaper, unfolding it and even seeing her name being mentioned for one of the reasons that this particular newspaper was brought back - she smiled in a sentimental manner. 

She almost couldn't believe it. 

"Huh, you really did act upon what we mentioned. Good on ya, Tara," she marvelled to herself while closing the door behind her with her leg. 

Cassandra read over the paper. It may be labeled as mediocre to some here and there, but she could liked how the reporter could get into the meaty bits without exposing too much, and could even add her own flourishes. The last wars that had happened sent gloomy memories into Cassandra's mind, and so gave a moment of silence for the fallen. 

As she kept on going down, Tara had really put it into perspective of how many people from each city were coming out into the streets to make their presence known. The best thing being, no matter the rank, everyone has a voice. And they should use it. New York, needless to say, have come to their senses and are making a comeback. Not that they ever left, but... yeah.

Seeing the section dedicated to AlexanderKnight almost made Cassandra tear up. Even though she had not talked to him for ages, she always knew him as the fervent singer supported by the masses that enjoyed the rawness and passion in his voice. He will be... forever missed.

The last disclaimer, without fail, sent Cassandra smiling again. But a headache started to occur. She closed her eyes and winced while holding her temples, as her thoughts began to distort. Who was she? Customer service? 

Anyways, Cassandra was transfixed by Tara's spontaneous, but not so, action to bring this newspaper back. And even sent a small unbidden cheque of a million dollars. Because she could. And because she had been strewing too long in the hope of reading something like it again, and now it was here, done so last minute that Cassandra wondered if she was real. Or if she was even human at all. 

"Fantastic stuff again Mr Byrne!" I thought as I slapped the newspaper down on the cistern and did up my trousers. I had another little chuckle as I washed my hands and then remembered what I had read about poor Alex Knight. I pop the paper under my arm and run off to check its not true.

Folding his newspaper in half, Justice called aloud "Great newspaper Mr Byrne! Although some of the info is a little out of date. At the time of publication Detroit has two people that are public VIPs! I myself am constantly in and out so can't complain there!". 

Dropping a few dollars in the collection pot, Justice picks up a few papers to take back to the family. They were always in need of a good read. 

"Its wonderful to have someone summing up the recent events. Although I was present, we tend to forget bits. At least here they are forever immortalised. Keep up the good work!"

Ronin stopped and picked up a copy of "The Byrne Notice." He gave a nickel to the paper boy and leaned on a nearby street lamp post to read it. He had heard stories of mob papers, but hadn't actually seen one in his young life. After about fifteen minutes, he folded up the paper and made his way to the post office to send a letter to the editors. He wrote it out quickly and stashed some cash in it as a tip.

"A fantastic read, ma'am, and how exciting to see a paper gracing these fine streets once more. I do hope you continue it. Few realize the time and dedication it takes to keep these things going on a regular basis. It's not an easy job for certain.

Kudos to you, and anyone else involved. 

Best Regards,

K. Ronin

Louis ran around to the newspaper boy.  He had word that his name was in the paper and it wasn't in relation to

Police officers are looking for a shady individual...

This made a pleasant change and one he could put in a frame to hang on the wall if (a) he had a frame and (b) he had a home he could call his own.

It mattered not a jot to Louis that it was a fleeting mention, any publicity being good publicity...except that potential picture story a few months ago...he'd managed to squash the picture story...but nobody needed to know anything about that. 

Noooooobody!