Bella made small talk on the drive.  She knew that there wouldn't be any real joy once the woman saw where she was going, so she wanted to make the ride to the location as pleasant as possible both for the mother and her son.  Bella took time to regale Mrs. Dillion with more about Eric and his service as well as talk about their families and Bella's hopes for her own daughter's future, in particular, one that would include blessing she and Gavin with a 'house full of grandchildren' since she herself could have none of her own.  She used her situation to get Mrs. Dillion talking about her own feelings about motherhood, what woman wouldn't in such a position.  It would almost be rude to not speak well of your son when a Don was lavishing such praise on him and lamenting her inability to have children of her own.

It was candid discussions to be having with a wise guy in the car, and a woman she barely knew... but Bella was a skilled manipulator of people as April said.  She knew what she was doing all too well.  She wanted Eric to know that he was making the right choice and that despite all her flaws, his mother loved him.  He was a good boy.  She was a good person.  It was this poison that had hurt them... nothing more and soon, with help, she'd be free of it.

Several points during the talk she looked into the rearview mirror and met Eric's eyes, trying to silently give him support.

Eric spent most of his time looking out the window or speaking to his mother, although he couldn't entirely keep his eyes off the way Bella's dress slid up her leg as she drove. The small talk between the two women made him uncomfortable. He didn't like lying. As his mother kept talking about him and his sister, he realized that they were only a few minutes away from the facility.

"Mom. Don By- Bella is driving you somewhere where you can stop drinking. It's too much. You're going to hurt yourself- or someone else." He paused. "You passed out with the stove on, Mom. Rhia was in the house. If something had happened..." Eric shook his head. "I know you're probably not going to like me for this, but it needs to happen."

The was a strength in his voice that matched his hand and he held his mother's hand in his own. He glanced in the mirror, hoping that Bella would chime in and say something.

"Eric has been the soul of discretion.  He's not shared anything of your home's happenings with me in any real detail, but I've not lied to you about anything today.  This is a gift.  A chance to be your best self for your children who I know you love.  I can see it.  I hear it in your voice when you talk about them.  I deeply care for Eric," She said to him in the mirror as much as she was speaking to the woman. 

"He's family and that means you are too. Honor demands we take care of family and so I pulled some strings to get you into a very nice facility. You'll remain there, well cared for until you're well.  None of your friends or neighbors will know where you've been and the extra money Eric is bringing home should take care of anything that should come up while you're gone.  With luck, you'll be home in no time and maybe you'll come to my home for Sunday dinner."

Bella turned down the long drive to the home.  "You have nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of.  Your son is a good man who has courage to spare.  He will make some woman a very happy wife one day.  I know only a handful of such men in my life as you've raised and his quality speaks to your character."

Bella reached into her purse and pulled out a kerchief which she passed back over the seat to Eric to give to his mother. 

Eric listened to Bella's words as he stared at his mother. The don's words were gentle, but Eric could see the fight in his mother's eyes that might have been there if it was just the two of them. For a while, she stared out the window as Bella kept talking. Then she nodded. 

With impeccable timing, Bella turned into the facility just a couple minutes later. Mrs. Dillon dried her eyes. Outside the facility, she hugged Rhiannon, who'd started tearing up. Then she hugged Eric- albeit far more businesslike and quicker than she'd hugged Rhiannon.

Seemingly embarrassed and ignoring the rest of the "crowd", Mrs. Dillon turned to Bella.

"Thank you for the kind words. And the gift. I will... do what I must."

Then she headed toward the door with Bella. Eric, not wanting to embarrass her further, hung outside. He leaned against the car, talking to Rhiannon about the process, about the future. Gavin, bored but respectful, talked to April and Linval about office supplies and proper office etiquette in a way that made April blush and Linval rumble with his deep laughter.

Twenty minutes later, Bella and Eric walked back out.

“Gavin, you’re with them still.  Eric… let’s talk.”  She said getting into the front seat of the car, passenger side this time and tossing Eric the keys, who dropped them and quickly bent to pick them up..  “I’ll meet you at home,” she called out to Gavin, quickly closing the door before her husband could say anything, while letting him know that she might be talking a while.

Checking the rearview mirror, Bella could see Gavin trying to mouth something. Eric nervously started the car and pulled away. “I can’t thank you enough for your help back there, D- Bella. It really means a lot to me. She’s a good woman, just…” he trailed off.

“When we met, I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing.  I sometimes think about that night and I question my humanity.  I think about what you must think about me… and the sort of mother and wife I am, let alone a leader.  And the funny thing is, Eric, that I’ve never questioned the sort of person you were.  Your mother, I didn’t lie to her, your character is a direct result of what she put into you.”

“I think I owe a lot of who I am to you. And I don’t know how anyone could question your anything, or have anything but the most respect for you. You’re..” he trailed off again.

“Hmm.”  She nodded, “Your devotion to me is something my husband has directed my attention to more properly.”  Eric swallowed. “I’m sorry that your endeavors to be noticed weren’t rewarded sooner.”  Eric swallowed again. “It’s a mistake I mean to rectify starting with what we did today for your mom and your sister.  I meant what I said, I care about you and I take care of those people who care for me.”

Eric remembered to breathe, and he nodded. “That’s what I mean. Most people in your position don’t really care for little people. But you did, back then. And you do now. You shouldn’t question your humanity.”

“I burned children alive and shot them, Eric.  Then I had the audacity to tell you to be better.  I don’t regret sparing you… but those boys weren’t much older than you.  I was enraged.  I grew up in a poor immigrant community just like that one.  Those people who owned that store, they took care of me when I came to Philly and knew next to nothing about how to be a wife or even… anything resembling a good partner.  I learned to cook because of that old woman.  My husband hasn’t starved thanks to her lessons.  That old man… he…” She wet her lips.  

“I let my rage get the better of me.”  Bella continued,  “My temper they say is in our bloodline.  The Luciano family is notorious for it.  I’m as guilty of it as my father and I guess I’m glad I can’t pass it down to anyone.  Aurora will escape it if the rumors are true, and if they’re not I’ll work my ass off to make sure she is a better woman than I am.” Eric opened and closed his mouth, deciding to remain respectfully silent. “She’s a good person, and I mean to keep her that way if I have to beat it into her.  Maybe she won’t be part of this life - maybe I’ll have earned enough money and power to protect her from the world that stole our father from us, and her mother.  Maybe she’ll get married and have children and know nothing of the suffering this existence is so damn full of.”  Bella’s voice trailed off.

Eric felt like he should say something, and he desperately wished he was a better conversationalist. “I think you’re a good woman. And I think Aurora will be, too.” It was the best he could come up with without cracking into a telephone pole.

Bella smiled and looked over at the man in the driver’s seat.  “You’re sweet to say that, I hope you’re right and not just kissing my ass.”  She laughed. Eric stared at the road. “Hazard of talking frankly to undermades is you always have to question their motives, but maybe not you?”

“I- you don’t have to question my motives at all.”

“No.  I guess I don’t really.  Damn shame. I hate losing a bet.”  She chuckled. “Worth it.” she added.  “You know, your mom will be home before you know it.  She may be upset today but she loves you and when she’s well, she’ll be grateful to you.”

“I hope so. I really hope so.” He checked his mirror to change lanes and Bella’s legs were right there and he did his best to hide it, but thank Christ that Gavin Byrne wasn’t in the back seat. He’d probably have a garrotte necktie. He still might, by the end of the day. He’d never been this close to Bella Byrne for this long, and he felt a strange combination of hot and cold- of a drunken joy and chilling fear. 

Bella looked out her window to hide her smirk.  “So, if not becoming made… what’s your greatest desire?”  She asked him without looking back, so he could not see her face.

Eric ignored the “you” dancing on his tongue, and he forced himself to think. “To die with honor, with respect, having helped people like you helped me.” He glanced at her again, and she was staring back at him- and she was so close. “If that’s how you meant the question?” Goddamit, relax Eric.

“Textbook.”  Bella said.  “You’re almost too good to be true, Mr. Dillion.”  It was a small flirtation but she had to allow herself some fun.  Gavin would be unbearably smug for days after this.  She might as well have a bit of a smile before she had to put up with it.

“I’m really not, but I thank you for the compliment. I still have a lot of things I’m working on.”
Bella crossed her legs, letting her thighs slide across each other audibly in the quiet car.  She drew a deep breath causing her chest to rise against the buttons of her shirt, it was all in fun, and yet, she wondered how annoyed Gavin would be later at it.  Or, maybe he’d be tickled pink.  She’d enjoy finding out.  It had been a long time since she’d flirted with any man purposefully except to manipulate them out of goods and services.  Certainly not for her own enjoyment.  The last one who wasn’t married to her was Will.  A small part of her was sad for an instant, thinking about Will and his fate.  Her expression darkened, but only for a heartbeat as she forced her mind back to the young man beside her.

Eric’s back was as straight as an iron pole as he drove the car. He couldn’t help but look at her in the mirror, in the reflection of the windshield. If she was like a drug, he was simultaneously building up a resistance to and deepening his addiction.

“What are you working on?  Intrigue me.”  She said to him, casting a brief glance in his direction.

“My hands, mostly,” said Eric. “I was part of Purgatory, training to be a fighter there. I’m trying to get better. Once my sister and my mother get old enough and safe enough, I was thinking about moving them to a different city or way outside to the suburbs for their protection. Then I could either become a man of honor… or someone’s personal bodyguard.”

“I’ve always had a special spot in my heart for fighters.  My favorite men have all spent more than a few hours in the ring.  Bowden … he, um…”  she lost her footing a moment saying the name out loud.  She looked down almost hating that she’d used Will’s name in such a silly game as this.  Will deserved better.  Will had always deserved better and she’d never been able to give it to him.  Not even when she could have.

Bella exhaled, “Will was a lover of mine in our youth.  I cared about him deeply.  It’s how I came to own half of Purgatory Gym.  The seven cities fight circuit… it was mine and Mezzo’s baby.  Damn if it wasn’t a glorious thing.  Best project I ever put my name to.  I loved that gym.”  She nearly said that she loved that man but stopped herself.  Some confessions were best left at graves.

Eric listened intently; he looked at Bella and the car drifted slightly out of the lane. Bowden? Lover? Eric corrected his course before they drove off the road.

“Of course, Gavin was a fighter too.  Bowden beat him in their last bout, but Gavin won what he most wanted… my heart.”  She said with a smile.  

“Your husband is a very lucky man.” Eric looked at her, then looked back at the road.

“Still, a girl never forgets a guy like Will.  That loyalty. That fierce sense of right and wrong.  Those hands…” She let her voice drift again as her memories flittered to the surface.

Eric’s eyes flicked down to look at his hands on the steering wheel- not for the first time, he imagined them on Bella’s hips.

“So, if I don’t make you a man of honor… and I know that won’t happen without my word to the Godmother.  If I don’t… I guess my question to you is how badly would you want to guard my body?” The phrase was terribly flirtatious and she should have been ashamed but she couldn’t help it.  

“More than anything else in the world.” His voice was quiet and sincere, but he seemed to try to cover it by speaking normally as he followed up, saying, “For everything you’ve done for my family, it would be an honor. I know you have a team of principal bodyguards already, but I imagine there are others that rotate in.”

“I always need more men around,” said Bella.  “I fear that rotating them is a must.  I can’t keep my core team run down to their bones all the time.  I travel a lot.  Sometimes for days at a time I’m out on my own - diplomacy now for the Godmother will be key.  I could use a guy who could go with me on a moment’s notice to any point in the world.”

“Of course. It makes sense that the Godmother would send you on missions like that. I would… do anything you asked me to.” He didn’t dare say more.

“A guy I can trust… a man my husband has a good bead on.”

Eric pursed his lips.

“If you want that job, I can-”

“Yes.”

“Without even known the details of what I’m asking of you?”  She arched an eyebrow a little surprised but not completely.

Eric was quiet for a bit, trying to formulate his words. “As we discussed, I don’t feel like I can admirably perform every job for you. But I owe you a debt, and even if I didn’t I would want to serve you however you would allow me to.”

“Alright then, from here on out, if I leave town… you’re with me.  My bodyman.  Linval will be staying with Aurora from here forward.  I can’t keep a good guard on her when I’m out of town.  She tries to slip almost everyone else.  He’s the only one I trust won’t lose track of her.”  she chuckled.  “In town he’s still my number one.  But… outside the city I think you can perform admirably and meet my needs.”

Eric swallowed.

“I will.”

“It might be a bit tense at times, pressure can be high, the question is… can you focus on the job when needs be?  Gavin will be insistent that I know you won't lose sight of what matters when we’re out there alone together.”

“I…” Eric was getting confused. “I can definitely focus on the job. Protect you from anything.” He risked a look at her, spoke sincerely. “I would die for you, Bella.” Then he moved his eyes back to the road.

“Well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Me neither.”

“I’d rather it was just a very boring job of having to stand around silent a lot, looking at me and where-ever we are.”

Eric nodded and remained silent, but he looked at her again, drinking her in. He felt dizzy.

“You okay over there… you’re sweating.  Do you need to pull the car over for some air?”  She asked arching an eyebrow and pulling the hem of her skirt down a little drawing attention back to her legs.

“I’m fine,” he said, in a higher pitched voice than he intended, rolling down the window and cursing in his head.

“Good.”  She said enjoying the breeze, a smirk painted on her face that suggested no end of mischief.  “We’re going to have good times together on the road. I just know it.” And Gavin is going to go nuts.  I’m going to absolutely love coming home every trip I take!

***

Gavin had his feet up on the sofa of the Sewing Factory Lofts, tossing a baseball up and catching it repeatedly as he waited for the door to open.

Bella strut into the room like a cat crossing the courtyard, belly full of creme.  “How was the drive back?”  She asked him in a tone that was too perky.

“Great. Almost got asked to a high school dance, but April threw herself on the grenade and saved the day. How much money do you owe me?”

“Oh man, twenty million of the best dollars I ever spent.”  her smirk became a full on grin.

Gavin grinned victoriously, then noticed her smile. “... what did you do?”

“Oh… I asked him if he didn’t want to be a man of honor what it was he really did desire.”  She walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“And he wanted a roll in the hay? I hope you gave him his money’s worth, for twenty million.”

“I haven’t seen a man standing at that much attention since…”  She glanced at Gavin’s midsection pointedly.  “Yesterday.”

“Uh huh.” Gavin kept tossing the baseball. “So did you let him down easy?”

She sipped her water, watching her husband carefully, but didn’t rush to reply.  “He didn’t tell me,”  She finally said, “That he wanted me.  Which was both incredibly noble of him and greatly disappointing even if his body was telling me everything I needed to know.”

“Yea, but if he told you he wanted you, I might have to make an example of him.”

“He’s a smart boy.”  She said.  “Turns out there might be a reason for that… Will.”  She put her glass down.
 

Gavin caught the baseball and a shadow crossed his face. “... what do you mean?”

“Will was training him.  Looking out for him. Bringing him up in the life.  He worked for Purgatory. Will wanted him to be a fighter, but he knew I had my claws in that boy which meant he wasn’t training him to be a prize fighter.  Prick was stealing my guy.” Bella said with a smirk, clearly not upset but amused. “Will always had an eye for talent. I wasting him. Will had to have seen that.”

“So you’re going to help the kid become a boxer?”

“The kid told me his great desire was to be a personal bodyguard.”  She shrugged. “Told him he could work for me when I take trips out of town.  I might have done it because it amuses me to no end that can’t stop looking at me… but also because Will put real time into the kid.  There’s something more there. I need to find out what it is and we need to put it to work for us. Kid would die for me Gavin. It’s not just lust.  Boy is loyal. Fears you. Repsects the fuck out of Tara. He’s a good one. And… he amuses me.”

“You’re going to make him lose his fucking mind within one trip,” said Gavin with a raised eyebrow. 

“I poured it on thick today to see how much of a distraction I am.  Kid didn’t put us in a ditch.” Well, almost, thought Bella.  He’s got the ability to focus.  I won’t toy with him when it’s reckless to do so.  And I’m not a total monster. Besides, you’re right about April too.  She likes him. Coming with me will make him have to spend time with her.  Maybe you hit on something there. Pretty young girl, on hand alone with him, while he’s all hot and bothered about me… could be April’s ticket to avoiding a life as a spinster.”

“That kid is in a brothel right now trying to calm himself down,” said Gavin with a smirk. “And hey, April’s not bad looking. She wouldn’t be a spinster. But if your plan to get your new personal bodyguard so fired up that he just throws himself at April… adding matchmaker to your duties as Right Hand?”

“My family has many matchmakers in the old country.  I’ve done it for several people… albeit I failed miserably on my guess that you and Ellie should be a thing.”  she chuckled.  “Anyway April will be a spinster if she keeps working so hard for me that she never has time to meet a nice young man… so… this is for her too.”

“Alright. Well don’t make him wait too long. Kid’ll fucking explode...”

“I thought you said he’s been going to brothels… I’m sure the ladies there will have him well in hand.”  she winked at Gavin.

“He can’t do that if he’s on the road with you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first guard of mine to get laid when he should have been watching my ass.” She chuckled.  “I’ll bring April along with me the first trip we take though.  I promise you, when we get back they’ll be seeing each other.”

“Well,” said Gavin, leaning back on the couch. “If you need someone to practice your moves on… I know a guy.”

“Would you like to see what I was doing in the car to drive him nuts?”  She smirked again and began to saunter over to her husband. She didn’t get far before he popped to his feet and scooped her up into his arms. 

“Only in the bedroom,” said Gavin. “Our furniture budget is running low…”  

With a grin, he kicked the door of the bedroom closed behind him.

***

2 months later

Eric was tense as he checked the hotel suite they were staying in, but he visibly relaxed once he’d cleared it. The negotiation with the Don of the French Quarter had been a success, and the celebratory drinks to celebrate Mardi Gras had left Bella and April in a good mood, even if Eric was wary of every man who shot them a second look. 

Bella whispered to April, and the secretary returned to her room right across the hall. Eric remained, looking out the window to thoroughly check for snipers- and to watch Bella’s reflection.

Bella took off her jacket and slung it on the back of the chair nearest to the door.  She turned and make sure the locks were in place before coming back around to admire the room, enjoying the buzz she was currently deep within.  The drinks were stronger than she expected. From the islands, she’d been told. Well, she’d have to get some more of that before heading home. Gavin would love it.

“Things looking good and safe out there tonight, Eric?”  she asked him, the smallest hint of a slur in her voice. She was feeling very good, of that there could be no doubt.

“They look perfect, Don Byrne. Absolutely perfect.”

“Very good.  Glad to hear things meet your expectations.”  She bent over, facing away from him, and began taking off her high heels.

Eric stared at the reflection in the window, but he moved away quickly when he realized he was fogging up the glass. Instead, he faced the wall and pretended to study a piece of artwork there. “Is there anything else you need tonight, Don Byrne?”

“Need?”  Bella said the word as if trying it on her tongue for the first time in her whole life.  She stood up straight with her shoes in hand.  “Well, I did have a wildly successful day today.  I get to go home with a very big feather in my cap.  I’m feeling … good tonight, Eric.  Better than I have since before everything on the pier.  I almost feel like myself again.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Don Byrne. You deserve to feel good.” He nodded, having turned to face her now that she wasn’t bending over. 

“I’d like to shower, then hit the hay.  I … would like it if you stayed here until I’m ready for sleep?  Then you can go.  Spend the rest of your night however you wish.  I’ll be safe here.  I just… until I’m sure that everyone at that meeting has gone home for the night.  I don’t want any bad surprises.”

“Of course, Don Byrne. And my room is right next door. If there’s a situation later, I’ll be ready to respond.”

Bella looked at the wall that separated their rooms.  “You know… maybe I’ll be okay without you here while I shower.  I wouldn’t want to keep you up.”

“No that’s- that’s okay. I wouldn’t feel right leaving you until you feel comfortable, as you said before.”

Bella nodded, “Okay, if that’s what you really want.”  she started towards the bathroom and then paused.  “Shit.  Eric, I hate to be a pest…”  She didn’t really.  She’d been planning this since packing this outfit.  Of course, he wouldn’t know that.  “April’s out for the night by now, surely…”

Eric blinked, surprised. “You think so?”

“Well, sure… didn’t you see us whispering?  She was telling me she couldn’t wait to get back to her room and get out of her dress, and slip down into those sheets.”  She giggled.  “Don’t tell her I told you so but…”

“oh…”

“I have it on good account she sleeps in the nude.”  Eric blinked. She giggled again.  “I can’t say I blame her.  These sheets do seem very nice.  I might try it myself tonight.  Live a little.” Eric seemed slightly concussed.

“Anyway… like I was saying… it’s just this stupid clasp on the back of my dress.”  

Eric moved quickly toward her, like the clasp was a threat to her physical safety. He stood behind her- carefully staying a pace or two back from her, and reached for the clasp.

“I’m sorry if April and I have been… distracting tonight.”  She spoke as he worked. “I get this way when I’ve been drinking. I’m a reckless flirt when I’ve had a little too much. Hazard from my wilder days when I was still younger and prettier like April.”

“No need to apologize, Be- Don Byrne. And you’re the most-” he froze, unsure how to continue to and still be professional. 

“Do you think I’m pretty?”  She asked him carefully.  

“I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world… Don Byrne,” he tried to say it simply, even if his heart was beating audibly- at least for him. The clasp came undone in his hand. 

“Ah, good, you figured it out.  It’s tricky sometimes. Took April a full two minutes of fiddling with to get the damn thing closed.  Was worried you’d be behind me a while trying to solve the puzzle.” Desperately, Eric looked for a second clasp.

Bella turned slowly around.  “April likes you, you know that right?”

“She- I...what?” Was she holding her dress up with her hand? He’d never seen so much of her. He’d never been so close to those giant eyes, and he could feel himself slip away in them. He could still smell her hair.

Bella blinked her eyes purposefully slow.  “April.  We were whispering in the car, about you.  Those hands of yours… ever since you mentioned how you were training with Will, she and I have chatted about you - I hope you don’t mind but the gossip was something salacious in nature.”  the way she said salacious was meant to entice his curiosity and it seemed to be working.

“... oh?”

“She wanted to know how I would handle a man like you, if I were younger… and unmarried, like her.  I asked her if she had designs on you and when she told me she had hopes, well, I had to bring her with us on this trip.”

The ‘unmarried’ hit Eric like a ton of bricks. He seemed visibly impacted from the word, like he’d forgotten that fact in the last two or three minutes.

“April’s a beautiful woman. Smart. Capable. Kind.”

“I couldn’t agree more.  She also told me that her room is unlocked tonight.”  She smiled.  “Of course, that might be too bold of me to have admitted.”

Eric looked at Bella steadily, drinking her in.

“Can I ask you a question, Bella?”

“I’m drunk enough I’ll answer any question you ask me tonight Eric… you might not get another chance like this one so … don’t waste it.”

“I know it.” He paused, then took a deep breath. “Did you ever love someone you can’t have? What’s someone supposed to do in a situation like that?” He turned away from her, shrugging off his jacket like he was too nervous to see her response- and he missed her reaction.

For a moment it felt like she’d been punched in the gut by Will Bowden himself.  The air was sucked out of her body and she couldn’t find her voice.  Bella held the dress tight to herself as she considered his words.  Eric turned back to her; he’d removed his tie and rolled up his sleeves, exposing his muscular forearms.

Bella closed her eyes and took a half step back from him.  She looked at the floor.  “I’ve been cruel to you.”  She said softly.  “I’m sorry.  I thought… maybe it was fun, but I didn’t think...”

Eric shook his head. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Don Byrne. Just asking for some random advice.”

She looked up to Eric’s eyes, there was something of sadness there now, “I love William Bowden.”  she confessed out loud. “I never stopped loving Will. Not even at my wedding. I kept thinking one day it would all go away… because I love Gavin, fiercely.  I could never be without my husband. He’s everything to me. I chose my life and I’m happy… but I never stopped loving Will.”. 

“So you just learned to live with it? Did what you could for him, with what was… appropriate?”

“I manipulated situations to put him in the same place with my sister in law.  Tara is a good woman. She’s lonely. She works too hard. I wanted her and Will to be happy and I thought maybe his broken heart could be mended if he fell in love with her… but the truth is, I can still see it in his eyes when he looks at me.  I know he sees it in mine… saw.” she corrected herself. “He saw it in my eyes. We… just… loved each other enough not to. The cost was too high.”

“It sounds like your sister-in-law needed him, too.”

“I’m sure she knew how Will felt.  Maybe me too. She’s smart like that but you’re right, she needed someone and Will committed to her the way I did to Gavin.  We made our choices, we were happy. I never regretted it. I still don’t. You can love more people in this life than just the one… I know that not just because of Will.  Love multiplies, Eric. It grows in us if we let it.” she adjusted the dress against her body to ensure nothing had slipped out in her drunken rambling.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Okay.” He took a gentle step toward her and, for ten seconds allowed himself to look at her the way he’d always wanted to. When the ten seconds were up, he looked for ten more. Then he took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I’d better go see April, then.”

“Eric... “  she said stopping him from moving away too quickly.  “For what it’s worth, as much as I’ve teased you… you’ve been discreet and good to me.  You haven’t thought less of me because of my games.  I will never forget the man you are.  You’re more honorable than any ten made men I know.  April is lucky to be with a man like you.”

He turned and looked back at her. “I like your games, Don Byrne. And… I… I think you’re probably being too serious about this, if you’ll pardon me saying so. If there was something serious happening here, I might not be able to serve you like this.” He smiled at her. “Just a question… goodnight, Don Byrne.”

“Have a good night, Eric.”  She said watching him go.  

Once he was gone, she locked the door, and walked directly to her bed.  Just as she reached for the phone, it rang.  Startled she answered.

"Hello?"  She narrowed her eyes.

“Hello.”  It was Gavin!  Bella sighed with relief.

“Am I a bad person?”  she said with still more of a slur than she wanted.

“I dunno. On a scale of one to ten, how close did you just come to giving that boy a ride on the Bella train?”

“For a second, really close but then… no.  I actually realized that I'm a pretty shitty person for even doing this.  That boy isn’t in lust with me, Gavin… he loves me.”  She said the last part with such weight it was clear she felt like a heel.

“Oh… shit.” Gavin was quiet for a while, and when he spoke again, his voice changed. “What happened, then? He didn’t make a big confession, did he?”

“No.  I did.  I confessed that I was terrible… though we didn’t really talk about his feelings he just… asked me what I would do if I were in love with someone I couldn’t ever be with.  No… he asked if I ever have been in love with someone I couldn’t be with and … I just… God.  I’m shit.”  she sighed.

“You’re not shit. What’d you do? Talk to him about Will? How’d he take things, in the end? Is he going to be a problem?”

Bella’s eyes teared up but she didn’t reply immediately.  Gavin knew her too well.  “I told him.. I told him about Will.  And no.  He’s not problem.  He um… he made a joke about it being hypothetical, and that I was being too serious.  That if there was anything serious happening here he wouldn’t be allowed to guard me anymore and so… nothing was happening here.” 

“Smart kid,” said Gavin. “Do you trust him, moving forward?”

“He … he’s across the hall.  April told me to tell him that her room would be unlocked.”  She sighed. “I was supposed to take a shower and get him all hot and bothered and have dropped that intel to him so … well, then, things took this left turn.”

“Well listen, you’re not a shit person. You didn’t know how he felt before. Now you know. If you flounce around him and put your tits in his face now, you’d be an asshole. But you didn’t know before- so it’s not your fault. Just try to take care of him.” Gavin paused. “Not like that. Or the other that.”

“Kid even had the nerve to tell me he liked my games.”  She sighed. “He’s too good a person. Damn Will and his white hat.”

“Kinda reminds me of Madeline,” Gavin said quietly. “I… thought we were just… I dunno. Friends who had sex a lot. I didn’t realize how she felt about me until the moment I hurt her, telling her I was off the market. I just didn’t know.” He sighed. “I felt like shit for a while. Still do. But at least in your case, you’ve got a chance to make it up to this kid.”

“Yeah.  I’m going to do that.  This whole thing has been so damn twisted, if you consider how it started and how we got here.  I just…”

“Is he… across the hall? I mean, that’d be a good sign, right?”

“Yeah.  He told me he was going to her.  Made no secret about it. I suppose it was his way of making sure I knew there was no conflict of interest here.  He wants to work for me that badly. He apparently wasn’t lying about feeling a debt. Kid is loyal as fuck.”

“Literally.”