Bella chuckled, “I need to take care of him, Gavin.  I need to do right by him.  I just… had to hear your voice tonight and tell you what happened.”

“Alright. Well, go listen at their door. If you hear bumps and slaps and happy sounds, then just leave ‘em be. But if you don’t, leave them a bottle of something outside their door, maybe.”

“Gavin?”  She paused.  “Take Aurora to your sister’s tell her I got the terms she asked for.  Get on the plane.  Come to New Orleans.”

Gavin was quiet for a long time, long enough for Bella to sense that something was wrong.  

“Gavin?”  She had expected him to excitedly agree he was coming.

“You know I trust you, right? I trust you with… everything. You know that, right?”

She chuckled.  “Oh Gavin!  I want you to come to New Orleans to spend a few days here with me… so I can let April and Eric have time together.  I just… don’t want to be alone-

“Right but. You know that I trust you. To take care of yourself, to be my wife. 100%. Yes?”

“Of course.  I thought we established that a long time ago.  Years now.  We did, didn’t we?”  She paused.

The phone line clicked dead. 15 seconds later, there was a knock on the door. Gavin stood there, looking slightly abashed, saying immediately, “It’s just that I didn’t trust him 100%...”

“...”  Bella stared at her husband for a moment.  “You have a lot of making up to do, Mister.  I suggest you come inside and get started.”

“Sure, just…” Gavin moved to the room across the hall and silently leaned toward the door, then quickly straightened up and walked into Bella’s room, grabbing her hand and closing the door behind him.

“... I think those kids are gonna be just fine.”

***

24 years old

The Byrnes attended the wedding of Bella’s bodyguard Eric Dillon and April De Luca with Aurora in tow- and Will in utero. It was a beautiful ceremony, full of friends, family, and the family. April was a beautiful bride, Eric was a dashing groom, but as Bella rested her head on the pillow next to Gavin, she couldn’t help but remember a single look from Eric as he’d glanced over at her during the ceremony. It was early on, before April had even walked down the aisle. His eyes didn’t seem full of sadness, or anger, or even love… just depth.

Eric didn’t look her way again, either during the ceremony or afterwards- almost as if he was forcing himself not to.

***

28 years old

“Eric,” said Bella. “Eric. Eric!”

Eric blinked awake, then realized he’d fallen asleep on the plane. “I… I’m sorry, Bella. I just… the baby’s not sleeping. At all. And when the baby is asleep, then Tommy’s running around like a maniac…” He yawned mightily.

“Well, I can empathize.  Honestly, maybe we both could stand for a small vacation.  What do you say I tell the pilot not to take us to my meeting and instead we find some beach to take a nap on?  We can tell Louis that the deal fell apart but we’ll come back fresh and new.  Less stressed and ready to take care of our families.”  she chuckled.

Eric smiled up at her. “You’d never do that, Bella.” He blinked. “... not now, at least. Maybe in your younger days…”

She sighed.  “Probably not, but sometimes I dream about it.  Things … aren’t always easy at home.  The office.  Anywhere.  I once had this guy in my life who would grab me up and drag me off to places like sunny beaches insisting I needed a break from all the boring paperwork.  These days I barely see the guy who looks like him - let alone says shit like that.”

Eric nodded slowly. “You and Mr. Byrne have a lot to be proud of.”

“I miss him.  I miss me.  The old me.”  She said with a small bit of weariness in her tone.  

“I blame… children. I know that as you’ve stepped up to be Godfather Mezzo’s Right Hand, Mr. Byrne has… semi-retired. But the kids are getting older. Rora’s almost an adult, now.”

“Don’t remind me.”  she sighed.  “Some days I think she’s grown up too fast and then there are days where I can’t wait for her to be gone.  I love her but she’s a tough one.  So much like her father.  Willful, stubborn to a fault, and this keeping to herself nonsense and the running off and the boys… and the… all of it.”  She shook her head.  “And she fights with Will all the damn time.”

“I think we all sacrifice something for what we love, Bella. Gavin is just doing what he needs to for his family. Want me to take Rora out for a chat, when we’re back? You know they don’t listen to their parents at this age. Rhia never did, at least.”

“I appreciate it, if it was just the kids… well… I think I could hack it but the truth is that it’s taken a toll on other parts of my life.”  she didn’t say Gavin, but she meant it.  

“Temporary, I’m sure. And nothing that can’t be fixed, if you want to.”

“I put a sofa in our room, and not for fun. I haven’t slept in the same space as Gavin for almost a week now.  And … work isn’t helping. This trip is just one more example of how everything I’m doing is making us powerful but also ripping everything I love apart.  I’m scrambling to hold the damn world together, trying to make people respect the Godfather and … just… do what they need to be doing.” she sighed. “And all the while I feel like Gavin is slipping away from me and the kids don’t even know me anymore.  I’m fucking jealous of my own husband… how stupid is that? I could have stepped away. Maybe I should have?” 

Eric reached out and took Bella’s hand. He squeezed it reassuringly. The first time he’d done it, years ago, Bella had worried. Now? It was just Eric.

“You’re going to be fine, Bella. I’d never bet against you or Gavin- individually. But the two of you combined? If you’re stuck, you’ll figure it out. I know it.”

Bella looked down and sighed again.  “I hope you’re right.  The whole reason I do all of this is for them.  You know?  My family.  I don’t want the money.  I can’t take it with me.  I started doing this for my father… and then for the people who needed me but now, at this point in my life it’s just Gavin and the kids.  Everything else could just burn and it wouldn’t matter.  I want to tell him that and I keep waking up thinking I will… but then things happen and I get so mad at him.”

“You don’t need to go on a beach with me. You need to go to one with your husband. Just… talk it out. Both of you will make it through.”

“He thinks I’m having an affair.”  She blurted it out.  It felt good to say it to someone.  She hated that it was Eric, years ago that would have been horrible… but now, maybe it wasn’t so bad.

“Not the beach, then…” said Eric. 

“Not you.  He knows I wouldn’t with you… at least I think he knows that.  No… he thinks I’m sleeping with an ADA.”

“Not what I meant,” he said quickly. “A boat, maybe. Somewhere to talk to each other where you can’t run away.”

She laughed.  “Oh.  You’re making a suggestion, of course.  I can’t run off like that.  I’m the Right Hand.  Louis can’t wipe his ass without me, there’s about ten million things a day he needs and it’s all more work than I ever knew when I was serving as a left hand.  I had no idea the hell Tara put herself through until recently.  And I’m still not sure I’ve done half of what she used to do for Mezzo.  Fuck… I just… try my best and look what it got me?  Long nights trying to make sure we got a guy in the inside who will warn us when the police are coming to kick in the doors and for what?  The guy falls in love with me?  I didn’t mean for that to happen… I didn’t even try to seduce him.  Not even for laughs.  I don’t even know how it happened but one day I’m there at dinner with him and we’re talking and he… he touches my hand and I just… I could see it in his eyes.  I’ve never ran from something so fast in my life.  Linval had to know.  Neil definitely knows.”  She shook her head. Eric accepted the fact that the conversation was happening. She’d been venting to him a lot, recently. 

“Then Gavin starts getting cagey.”  she continued.  “He’s all confrontational in that passive sort of way - like he knows but he doesn’t want to know.  And he’s accusing but he’s not… he just looks at me.  He does this thing, he’s always had this thing where he can look at me and I feel guilty even if I haven’t done anything at all. 

“... I know that look,” said Eric.

 “And I’m so mad at him, after all these years, how could he think that!  I mean… now? After everything? I mean… yes, I’m about fifty pounds heavier than I want to be.” Eric stayed tactfully silent. In his mind, it was more like twenty. But that seemed unwise to bring up. “I’m older, wrinkled… god, he could have his choice of women.  Why do men get better looking and women wither up like grapes? GAH! And what if he is? He wouldn’t right? I mean… he’s never been vindictive but then again he’s never held out this long before when he’s been upset with me. I can’t even remember the last time we made love.”

“Bella… Bella.”

Her eyes were full of tears now.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.  I’m… I’m way over the line here.”

“You can say those those. You’re my friend. And you’re a beautiful woman. You and your husband… there’s nothing there that can’t be fixed. The only way…” He lurched to his seat, then moved up toward the cockpit of the private jet. As he returned a couple minutes later, Bella felt the plane turning around.

“We’re going back. As far as I see it, this is the biggest threat to our city. Anything that has the Byrnes divided is… well, it’s going to be ugly. But you’re going to back there and talk to him. And before you do… we’re both going to sleep on this plane. Okay?”

Bella nodded.  “Okay.” She said relenting without a fight.  She was too emotionally weary to resist a solid plan.  He was right. Her marriage was important to Philly. Gavin and she were important and she needed to treat her marriage as a priority too.

***

28 years old
One month later

Eric was locking up downstairs when he heard Bella cry out in pain.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!”

His heart was gripped by a cold fear as he took the stairs two at a time, speeding up rather than slowing down as he reached the top of the stairs. Bella was quiet now. Was he too late?

He hit the door at a run, not bothering to check whether it was locked as he hit it at full speed with his shoulder. The door splintered and he heard shouts.

Eric had a momentary view of Bella sitting on top of Gavin before she rolled off her husband and covered herself with a sheet. 

Gavin just stared at Eric as Bella rushed to cover him up as well.

“Oh, hey Eric,” said Gavin. “How’s it going?”

“It’s goo-... sorry, Gavin. Uh, sorry Bella.” Eric retreated back through the door, trying to close what remained of it behind him.

“Why don’t you fix the door later, Eric?” asked Gavin, mischief in his light blue eyes as he was looking toward his wife.

“Uh, right.”

Eric went down the stairs almost as quickly as he’d climbed them. When the shouting started again, he stopped Linval. “Uh… they’re fine up there. They’re fine.”
 

***

29 years old

“Daddy!” screamed Christine, as she ran onto one of Eric’s legs.

“Dad!” screamed Tommy, as he tackled the other leg.

The big man didn’t even come close to falling, even when April hugged him as well.

“You’re late,” admonished April.

“You know the drill…” said Eric with a sigh.

“You’re not going back out?” asked April.

“Not my choice, babe. Rora’s out. And when I find this Mancini guy… I’m going to throw him in the f- in the Delaware…” He reached down and patted his kids’ heads.

***

3 hours later

Eric had driven around the city seven times, or at least it felt like it, before he saw a familiar figure walking along the sidewalk in a leather jacket and tight jeans. He pulled up next to her and gave her an admonishing look.

“This was a late one, Rora…”

A very disheveled Rora met Eric’s eyes.  Her hair was messed up, she’d been crying.  Her make-up was smeared and her cheek looked red as if she’d been struck.

“Hey…” Eric’s voice became softer. “Get in. Let’s talk.”

Rora timidly got into the car, she sat down and instantly began fussing over her hand, whose knuckles were clearly roughed up.  

“Did you win?”

“He won’t forget me, that’s for sure.”  She sobbed and hid her face.  “You can’t tell mom and dad, Eric.  You can’t.  Please.”

“I can’t make that promise unless you tell me everything- you know our deal.”

“I … I went to a party.  These jerks, I thought I had it under control.”  She shook her head.  “It’s … it’s not a thing.  I mean, I took care of it.  I cut him.  Bad.  I got away.  Nothing happened.  I just don’t think I’ll be going to those kinds of parties anymore.”  she gave a wry laugh.

“Seems like a good call, Rora.”

“Why do I pick these jerks to fall for?  What’s wrong with me?”  She said distraught.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, kid. Let’s get that straight right now. And I… don’t think we get to choose who we love. We only get to choose our actions afterward. If you’re at a party and you feel yourself falling for someone named Big Trouble Tony or whatever…”

She laughed at the name.

“...maybe decide not to act on your feelings, right?”

“I do fall for big guys don’t I?”  she shook her head.  “Except Anthony… he wasn’t big.  Just… sweet and a little dumb.”  She looked down at her lap.

“Ah, we big guys are a mixed bunch. I think April would tell you that some of us are teddy bears.”

“April’s lucky.  She found one of the good ones.”  She smiled at Eric. “Maybe one day I will too.”  She sighed. “Or… I’ll just be a contract killer and run all over the globe never tying myself down with kids or stupid stuff like that.  Just… live the life. You know? Maybe that’s how I’m meant to be… a lone wolf.”

“Sure. If you can stay away from the Big Trouble Tony’s of the world…” he shrugged. “And you know what, maybe you will. You get to choose what you want- at least some of the time.”

“Hm.  Well, I don’t think I want to get married.  Or have kids. Seems nothing but trouble follows me when I get to thinking about guys.  And kids aren’t anything but a liability anyway. Person like me, I could be great. Like Dad.  Only, without all the stuff holding him back.” She shook her head.

“You’re already great, kid. And trust me… I knew your dad before he had you. He was the guy all the kids would joke about. And when I was in a shitty gang with a bunch of Big Trouble Asshats, he was the bogeyman. But your dad’s happier now than I’ve ever seen him in his life. And I think if it wasn’t for you and your mother… I think he would have been dead ten years ago.”

“No one could kill my dad.”  She said smirking just like Gavin.  “He’s the best.”

“I’m not saying someone would’ve beaten him. I’m saying… what would he be fighting to stay alive for?” Eric shifted lanes as he glanced at Rora, blinking as a sense of deja vu washed over him.

Aurora hadn’t thought of it that way before.  She looked out the window then and sighed. “Well, maybe.  If I find the right person. I’m sure I’ll know it. Right?  When it’s real. It’ll all just … work out. Like it did for mom and dad.”

“Sure, Rora.” Eric smiled. “I’m sure that’s how it’ll be.”

***

30 years old
The Other First Day of the Rest of Your Life

“Sorry I can’t make the party later today, Bella. April’s sister is getting married. We’re both in the wedding, so are the kids. But I wanted to say happy birthday this morning, give you a gift of my own.”

“Eric, you’re too sweet.  Honestly.  I’m sorry you can’t make it but please give my best to April today.  I hope you guys have fun at the wedding.  I’ll send along a gift after they get back from their honeymoon.  Something nice.  Just ask April what they need, I’ll make it happen.  Now… speaking of gifts…”  She smiled, Bella loved gifts more than just about anything in the world, especially from close long term friends who knew her well enough to know what she really loved.

Eric unfurled a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. The man was in the prime of life; the early physical gifts had been matched with years of experience that had only buoyed his confidence. He handed the paper to her.
“You’re hard to shop for, since you’ve got enough money you could buy anything you want.”

Bella eagerly took the paper and looked at it. She saw plans for a new building. Two stories, spread out, with dormitories, bathrooms, classrooms, and an outdoor exercise area. Not sure what she was looking at, Bella scanned the details in the corner of the page. She recognized the address as the building she’d burned down a lifetime ago, where she’d first met Eric. The name at the bottom of the page read “The Bella Byrne Home for Wayward Boys.”

“Thought it was appropriate,” said Eric. “You know I make more money than any other Wise Guy in the seven cities. Figured I’d start paying it back a little. Help give other kids the chance you gave me. Second chances, right?”

“Oh Eric!”  She threw her arms around him.  “I couldn’t love it more if I tried.”  she said kissing his cheeks.  “God bless you.  This is … a beautiful gift.  It truly is.”
 

“I’m gonna want your input on things,” said Eric. “It’d be my first business. I figured I could get a bar… but what’s the point of that, right?”

“No this is … really good.  I can help you do great things with this, it’s just… oh.  I never expected anything like this.” She nodded. “Really, Eric.  You are one of the best things I’ve ever done in this life. I hope you know that.  I truly couldn’t be more proud. Thank you.” She hugged him once more.  

“Now you need to get going so you’re not late for that wedding.  When you get back, call me. We’ll sit down and start hashing out plans for the building.”

“I will. Hope you have a happy birthday with your family.”

“Rora and Will are baking me a cake as we speak, the idea of them working together peacefully on anything is a better gift than I could ever have wished for.  When Gavin finally comes back in from his little excursion we’ll just have a nice quiet night at home together as a family. It’ll be a treat. You’re not going to miss much… but I’ll save you a slice of cake if you like.”

“Sure. That’d be great. And just so you know…  I heard a rumor that Gavin bought you a live komodo dragon… but I’m 95% sure that’s just a rumor. But just as a warning, I’m pretty sure he’s floating the idea as feedback to see if he can do it next year.”

“Oh… that would be something.”  She laughed. “I wonder if they eat cats…”  she bit her bottom lip thinking of the cats at the HQ that had been driving everyone nuts lately.  “Anyway, thank you for the warning.”

“See ya later, Bella.” Eric waved over his shoulder as he headed out the door.

It was the last time he’d see her alive.

***
30 years old
The Other First Day of the Rest of Your Life

8 hours later

He’d gotten the message at the dinner table.  He was four drinks in.  The party was really rolling when a wise guy he knew tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a look that suggested he needed to duck out a moment.  Making his excuses he stepped outside, the band in the building was muffled.  He could hear perfectly but as the words came out, they seemed to muffle in the same way that the band had.  War.  Retaliation.  He was moving before he could even begin to plan what he was going to do.  The shouts behind him were clear - nothing he could do.  It was over.  It didn’t matter.  He had to go.  

Eric slammed the brakes on the car and he’d launched himself out of it directly onto the front steps of Hollowood. He scrambled up them, running through the already open door. Bullet holes. Bloodstains. Bodies.

“Bella!”

He bounced frantically from one room to the next.

“BELLA!”

“RORA!” WILL!” GAVIN!”

Everyone room downstairs was wrecked- every shout went unanswered. He followed the trail of bodies to the back patio, where he dropped to his knees.

He heard a primal, guttural shout, and his throat was raw before he realized it was coming from him. Amidst the chaos…. Bella was lying there on the back patio.

He crawled over to her on his hands and knees, too shocked and broken to cry.

She’d been shot a dozen times, at least. But with the exception of a thin trail of blood, her face seemed untouched, almost… normal. Her brown eyes looked up at the bright blue sky above her. Eric wasn’t sure precisely when he started crying, but it was around the time he gingerly reached out and closed her eyes.

He rested over her on his hands and knees, wordless, until the weight of his loss bent his neck down to kiss her brow- a kiss he hadn’t dared to give her in life.

Eric wasn’t sure how long he was there. Was it seconds? Minutes? Hours? But when he heard the sirens, he forced himself to move. There was nothing he could do here. Couldn’t save her. Couldn’t move the body. But Gavin and the kids were gone… Eric reached out and gently removed the engagement ring from Bella’s finger.

“I know… you said this is for Rora. I’ll get it to her. I promise. I’m sorry, Bella, I’m so sorry, I-”

The sirens blared, much closer this time. He forced himself to his feet- and he forced himself to run. He looked back several times as he did.
 

***

30 years old

The Other First Day of the Rest of Your Life: Aftermath

The next few days in Philadelphia were chaos. The city was burning. Eric sent April and the kids to her sister’s place in upstate New York, and he stayed to watch his city burn to the ground. Everything he tried led to failure. When he returned to recover Bella’s body, it was gone. When he looked for Gavin, Rora, and Will, they’d vanished. Desperately, Eric tried to find out who’d killed Bella… but no one said anything; they wouldn’t talk to an associate- especially not a random bodyguard.

After the police had left Hollowwood, Eric moved in. He slept there, walked the halls, smelled her perfume, saw her look at him around corners and eternally heard her beckon him from the next room. 

Four days later, he walked out of the Byrne house with bleary eyes, a beard, and a broken soul.

32 years old

Eric picked up the keys from the kitchen table and accelerated as he headed toward the door. April intercepted him, standing in front of the exit. For a moment, it looked like Eric would physically move her out of the way, then he blinked and saw the child in her arms.

“You said you’d stay home tonight… please, please don’t go out,” said April, quietly.

“I’ll be back,” said Eric, moving to step around her.

“Bullshit,” whispered April as the door closed behind him.

36 years old

Eric picked up the letter and read it again.

Dear Eric,

Years ago, you told me the story of how Bella helped your mother. I wish she was alive now- maybe there would be someone who could save you. I wish I could. I tried. You know I did.

You’re not the man I married, and you’re moving further away from him every day. Who are you? Did some part of you die with her that day?

I wish that I was enough for you.

I hope you read that sentence again. I can’t let our children grow up thinking that.

If you ever want help, I want you to call me immediately. I’ll be there. I’ll do anything. But as long as you willfully kill yourself like this, one bottle at a time, then don’t call. Don’t write. 

Get help, E. Before it’s too late. Do it for me. Do it for Tommy and Christine. 

And if we’re not enough, do it for her. She would have hated to see you like this. So would Rora. Gavin. Will. All of them.  

Get help. Please.

April

Eric put down the letter and paused for a moment. Then he picked up the bottle.
 

42 years old

Eric woke up when someone kicked him in the stomach. Groaning from both his aching back and his hangover, he blinked and rolled over in the alleyway.

“Shit… it’s a guy.”

Eric stood up, revealing a face blackened by grime. The young couple looking at him took several steps back- probably due to the smell. Alcohol and body odor. He didn’t even smell it anymore.

“Another one of ye, eh?” asked Eric, struggling to get to his feet. The man helped him stand and was soon looking up to the much taller man.  Eric brushed himself off. “Don’t suppose you can spare some change? Nah, I thought not.”

Eric looked at the couple. The guy was wearing a cheap suit. He had slicked back hair and shining shoes. “Ah, of course you can’t,” said Eric. Lemme guess. Five hundred bucks, all you got plus your name, right? Life savings, planning on starting a new life here? I’ve seen it all before.” Eric sighed. “Good luck, kid, but you’re better off just checking in to the morgue and cutting out the middleman.

45 years old

Where the fuck am I?

Eric rolled over, resisting the urge to throw up. He tried to focus on the late afternoon sun; it was turning gold as it approached the horizon.

Goddamit. Need a drink. Need to get out from under it before it hits me, go back under.

He checked his pockets and came up empty. Then he checked for the emergency money in his boots. Nothing. Fuck. What to sell. 

He had only one thing left- a small box that he kept in the pocket over his heart. He opened it, looking down at the engagement ring- cleaned daily for fifteen years. 

For the first time, he thought about selling it. Recognizing the thought, he slammed the box shut and lurched to his feet. 

God… what the fuck have I done…

Eric blinked, shuffling his way through the abandoned construction site he’d squatted in the night before. He took a deep breath and felt a sliver of the shame that was waiting for him if he stayed sober- a sliver of the pain.

It would be easier to just… end things. It was too late for him, now. 

“God, Bella, April, Tommy, Christine… I’m sorry,” he wheezed. “You all deserved better than me…”

He was stuck at the fork on the road before him- of building a hard future, retreating back the way he’d come, or ending it all. Already tired from exerting himself for a minute and a half, Eric found a wall and slid down to sitting position. He felt like crying, but there were no more tears left within him.

When he saw the long-abandoned sign for The Bella Byrne Home for Wayward Boys and realized where he was sitting, Eric found more tears to cry.
 

46 years old

Eric sat in his tiny apartment, sitting on a chair that could barely hold him. When he was thirty, he’d been a big guy, but it was all muscle. He’d gained weight steadily for a decade and a half, and it was a lot harder taking it off than putting it on had been. His beard was gone, his hair was trimmed and, despite the grey hairs starting to appear, he looked and felt better than he had since… Bella and the Byrnes had been killed.

Wearing slacks and a white button down shirt, Eric dialed the number on the phone. He wouldn’t let himself do it until he’d been sober for a year.

“Hello?”

“Hi… is April Dillon there?”

“... she hasn’t gone by that name in a long time. Who is this?”

“An old friend from work,” said Eric. “Please, I’d just like to speak to her briefly. How can I get in touch with her? How can I find her?”

“Well, I’m sure as hell not telling you how to find her, but I’ll give you her phone number. Don’t try looking it up, she’s unlisted.”

“Sure, thank you.” 

After writing down the number, Eric made another call.

“Hello?” Oh God. Her voice.

“... it’s me, April.”

“Oh God....” it was quiet for a long time. “Shit. E! Shit, I thought you fucking died.”

“I’m sorry, April. I’m so sorry… for everything. And they’re not kids anymore.”

“I know. I know. I just… I’ve been sober for a year, April. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t just show up again and then crash out of your lives. I’m sober. I’m solid. I’m steady. Maybe not the old me, but okay.”

“Why’d you do it all, E? Why?” It seemed like a question she’d been asking herself for over a decade.

“I loved her, April. I loved Bella Byrne from the first time I saw her, when I was 14 years old. And then I let her die- because I wasn’t there. I’ve made my peace with it.”

April was quiet. “I knew you cared about her. But I thought… did you and she ever…?”

“Never, April.” 

She was quiet again.

“E, I thought you were dead. The kids, too. That’s what we made our peace with.”

“I understand, April. I’ve been unfair to you. I’m sorry,” he paused. “If you want me to stay dead, I… understand.”

April was quiet again. Eric could tell she was crying.

“Let me see you first. If things go okay with us… then we can talk about the kids.”

“Okay, April. Whatever you say. I’m in.”

50 years old

Eric sat alone. He took a deep breath.

“1… 2… 3…”

He closed his eyes.

“4… 5… 6…”

“7… 8… 9… 10… ready or not, here I come,” he said, louder, as he lurched to his feet. God, he remembered hunting around Hollowood for Rora and Will. Now he was looking for his grandson. He checked the kitchen, waving hello to April, Tommy, Christine, and the kids’ spouses. He and April were… friends. He never expected more, and he felt lucky to have even that. Tommy still hated him for it, but he accepted him- and the young man’s hatred waned slightly every year. Christine was his light- and her son had become the center of Eric’s life.

After searching through the bathroom, all the bedrooms, the pantry, and the garage, Eric headed toward the back yard and grinned immediately.

“You took a long time to find me, Grandpa,” said Luca, grinning down at Eric.

“Kid… you honestly have no idea,” said Eric with a small smile.

***

54 years old

Eric had always preferred girls with black hair; he’d long ago stopped fighting the fact and just accepted it. Blondes… blondes were too high maintenance. Demanding. Still, this one was hot enough to fry an egg on- the only way she’d be hotter was if she didn’t know it. That and black hair, of course.

“Look, Eric…”

“You can call me E. Most people do, these days.”

“Look, E… I appreciate your honesty. Most alcoholics applying for a bartending job would probably leave that off the resume. But you’ve got to understand why that’s a red flag?”

“I understand why it seems like one,” said Eric.

“Enlighten me.” The blonde leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, bouncing one foot in the air absentmindedly.

“I’m not anti-alcohol. A lot of people can drink, have fun, be normal. I can’t, and I accept that. But I’m not going to start preaching in your bar. Also, you don’t have to worry about me stealing drinks. I’ve been a bartender and waiter for… well, four or so years now. Check my references.”

The blonde studied him. “I get the how. But why?”

“I want to help people. I fucked up my life, basically. Put it back together as best I could. A second chance- a third chance, really. And I don’t have enough cash to become a shrink… so I figure where do guys like me go? We talk to a bartender.” He leaned forward. “I’m reliable. Steady. On time. I’ll be here whenever I can be, whenever you need me. I’m too old to do too much else in my life, but I can still throw a punch when I need to…” he trailed off, not sure what to add.

“I like it. I like bars with wise old guys tending bar…. but would you have an issue with being paired with a handful of perky young women with their tits hanging out?”

Eric smiled. “No, Miss Montini, I wouldn’t.”

“You can call me Oriana. Or Boss.”

They shook hands over the bar.