In addition to being probably the best pickpocket in the country, Sally 'VIPCreditsGrin' Grinbini had also become a fence for other cutpurses and thieves operating in the area. He would take in their ill-gotten goods at a discounted price and then turn them around to honest or not so honest patrons. It was a lucrative business, one he made certain the trespasser Don Viktor, in exchange for his protection, received absolutely nothing from.

He had recently come into some peculiar items and one in particular had proven particularly difficult to sell. It was a hideously ugly suit/duvet, which was large enough for a family of 5 to all sleep under simultaneously. It had been monogrammed in plain black text that was far, far too small for the size of the garment. It depicted a man who was neither loud but quiet nor eye-catching but concealing. All in all, it was a tremendous disappointment.

Still, VIPCreditsGrin Grinbini hadn't gotten to where he was, a lowly unpaid intern and a continually disrespected Wise Guy, by being put after the doubts of a few naysayers. No, he had a plan. A street auction was just the thing to shift the hideous suit; people bought all kinds of shit if it was marketed in the right way and Grinbini was an experienced salesman.

He set his stall in the middle of the Street and clear all other items out of site. He erected a post at one end of the street and placed another at the far end, hanging the "suit" between them. Taking his place at his stall, he started to cry out to passersby. 

"Someone buy this horrible suit. HORRIBLE SUIT FOR SALE! COVER YOUR WHOLE HOUSE WITH IT! GET YOUR AWFUL, AWFUL SUIT HERE!" He yelled, catching their attention. Well, that and the enormous monstrosity covering the whole road. "Let's start the bidding at say, 3 credits or cash equivalent?"

Grinbini gestured with his arms to the "suit" all around him.

"Come, see. Get the world's worst suit! TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, SUIT FOR SALE! 3 CREDITS AND THIS IS ALL YOURS!"

Coconut Randy arrives to the scene. He is wearing clothes and there is weather. Now it is time to speak.

"Hello, gathered crowd. From my stall, over to the left, I will be running a side-event to the auction of this marvelous parachute or decorated tarp. Elephant-sweater? I don't know. Whatever it is, it is splendid. 

I will pay 15 credits to the artist who best adorns my beautiful self-portrait with something a bit flashier. For example, I have always wondered what I would look like with a moustache or a goatee or a hideous facial scar. So, too, have I wondered how I would be depicted as a highwayman or a pirate or a merman or any number of fascinating professions I considered working towards before I found my calling as a newspaperman. For example, in this stunning work I am depicted as a Godfather, of which I will no doubt one day be. And in this gorgeous piece I am some sort of thief or casino-robber. What a thrill. 

Please submit all art work here while the auction continues. 

Thank you."

Intern Grinbini notices his boss, editor-in-chief, CoconutRandy, setting a stall directly opposite him. He notices the fine pictures on display, noting with interest how enhanced they are set against the Dominic-created monstrosity splayed out for all to see.

"Those are some lovely pictures, boss." Grinbini begins fishing in his jacket for something. He produces his own photo from the time he and CoconutRandy went deep sea diving. "Kinda reminds me of this....simpler times," he mused before returning to his own stall.

Randy feels a rush of nostalgia as he takes in the photo Grinbini had saved from their Hawaiian team-bonding trip. It was a fantastic time. Randy had worn his wetsuit for three straight days and then a week more after they got home. When they eventually had to cut it off his body, he felt like a newborn babe, revitalized and ready to tackle all of the editorial and media matters of the mafia world. 

"Very nice, Grinbini. I think I will keep this one on my desk at the office."

Grinbini falls intensely into business mode.

$500,000 from Maria Reynolds. Do I have $750,000 anywhere?

"Hey I offer 51.000 and hope to win this amaing suit that I will hang up in the haöö-way at princess HQ so all can explore it.

$ 1 000 000 

Finally, a real bidder comes years. Thank you, BIG. I knew you would bring some sense back to the proceedings.

Currently the bid is with you at $1,000,000. What are you planning to do, perhaps create a replica of the Bayeaux Tapestry?

Doesn't matter. Any progress on $1,000,000? I can see you itching to bid, MariaReynolds. I can also see you just itching, Neil_Anblomi. Please stop, this is a family venue.

And by comes years, I obviously meant comes forward. Obviously. Stop it, Neil!

Viktor bursts through a nearby wall like the kool aid man.

I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy who says "Shenanigans."

Neil walks over and tries to look VIPCreditsGrin in the eye, but given Grin's astigmatism and lazy eye, this proves to be quiet impossible. One eye looking at you, and one eye fucking looking for you, Neil thinks to himself, and it seems like every second its a different eye looking at you. Sighing in exasperation, he takes a good look at the shit show of a suit on display, and is somewhat shocked at its subtle sorriness. He would have been more shocked, had he not been happy at his newfound mental alliterative prowess. 

You know Grin, I've had just about enough of your shit, you aren't too old yet to get put across my knee and get given a good spanking. I had come to this carnival sideshow of an auction to bid on your suit, but truly it is so reprehensible, I don't even think Pablo Picasso could find merit in it. Its like someone threw a quart of paint stripper over Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden of earthly delights. However, I see that my Client, NotoriousBIG has already bid on this travesty, so in the interests of keeping my client onside, I shall not outbid him. Biggie, its nice to see you actually speaking for yourself for once, instead of that shyster Kong alleging that you said something that you did not. 

Damn, I rarely have so much cash so I quit my bid from now, hope the winner get a pleasent surprise though.

Destro bids evilly

“Two million.”