MartyMuscles, Godfather-Chairman of the seven cities, king of the pump, and lord of the weight-plates, was in no mood to be trifled with. He had been unable to solve a problem he was having, as it had occured to him painfully that the enormous amount of blood rushing through his body was not enough to simultaneously serve his bulging muscles while also flowing to his enormous dong, leaving him to battle with a set of reoccuring scrotal migraines that threatened to throw him into a permanent darkness. He had the heart of a blue whale, however, and as he clambered out into the streets, where he was surrounded by all manner of pipsqueaks and twig-legged homunculuses, he was reassured once again that his purpose was true. The reforms had to begin. 

"Listen up, wimps. It's been nearly a week since my groundbreaking speech, War of the Weaklings, in which I was pronounced Godfather Chairman of the seven cities and laid out my plan to whip this soft-bodied community into shape. Though that is too minimal of a timeframe to begin seeing the optimal gains I hope you have all begun working towards, it was certainly enough for small steps forward to be taken:

1. The purging of Garrie, the human quiche, who once stated:

 "01:29 <Garrie[MR]> All u got with a hoe is a slut that has a taste for business. I don't need that if seeking a slut."

...proving his irreconcilable dorkiness and condemning him to first place on the Muscles regime's secret list of unnecessary individuals. 

2. The identification of chief love-guru of the new world, Tenkai:

[00:24:25] Tenkai: You must have given her good sex
[00:24:50] SwiggitySwooty: I dont really know what I'm doing I just kind of wiggle around
[00:24:50] Tenkai: Most females who have gotten good sex..they don't want to give that up
[00:25:24] Tenkai: I'm glad I know what I'm doing

If you need any tips and tricks, I implore you to contact him directly. Be sure to appreciate that he knows what he's doing with that good sex. Keep up the good work, Tenkai.

However, it is not enough. Still, the flabby-arms wave at me, beckoning me over to proclaim that they're "too tired after work", that they can't afford the good supplements, that their asthma is holding them back. I don't want to hear your whining and your excuses. I have heard enough of them from Vapor, who not only remains in federal prison for a key role in the casino scam that contributed to the complete destruction of the world as we knew it, but is serving a shortened sentence for being the rat that chewed a hole into the hull of their treacherous ship. The less said about that whimpering weenie the better. You are not like him. You have to be better.

This is our opportunity to build ourselves up from scratch, not as the dipsy-doodling momma's boys that you all were before, but as the barrel-chested barbarians you all can be with my help. Just yesterday, I was dominating a hex bar in the Shannon & Destro_Whelan Blazing Buns Power Cage Squat Centre at Big Tuna's Outdoors Bars & Bench when I overheard some Vegas mobster saying:

"Far and wide the fingers of intricacy reach, but they are likely not to reach too long."

I don't know what the hell that means but it is the perfect example of the kind of behaviour I need you all to quit. Before you do anything, ask yourself, is that how I come across? As someone who would use the phrase 'the fingers of intricacy'? Somebody done got MartyMuscles all kinds of fucked up about your freaky-ass fingers. Instead of deliberating about where they reach, how about y'all reach them around a damn dumbbell and do some damn curls for the first time in your damn lives. 

I want you all to remember to keep eating your red meat and eggs, including those yolks (that's where the good shit is), get rid of all that sodium, all that processed meat, and hit those heavy rows and pullups to get those biceps all huge and vascular. I'll be back to check on your progress soon. Bodfather out."

MartyMuscles there go again dissing the rodents of this world. Rodents are very adaptable and are capable of living in nearly any condition. They can live in lighted areas, without light, in warm and moderate temperatures and can find warm areas to live even in areas where there is winter. As long as they can find access to food, they can exist in nearly all conditions.

Rodents just want to eat, stay warm, breed and live their lives in peace. They prefer to be left alone, but the fact is they have adapted to living with people. Before humans built homes in wooded areas and made it so rodents had to adapt to this incursion into their territory, rats lived in trees, burrowed underground, lived in old, fallen logs or other vegetation.

However, rodents have had to adapt to humans who have moved and built in their territory. This means we will get into walls, find their way into basements, sewers, plumbing, and openings in walls, siding roofing, open doors and other areas. They use their ability to squeeze into the smallest spaces to get inside and find places where they can do what they love to do.

We simply want to find a good and consistent source of food. We want to find a place where we can hide and build our nests. We want to breed, feed ourselves and our young, like most animals.

Rats are rodents that do actually serve a purpose in the ecosystem. They are scavengers and opportunistic eaters. They will eat garbage and other things that people throw away. Plus, rats are important as part of the predatory ecosystem. Owls, falcons, hawks, and other predatory animals feed on rats. The animal ecosystem is a delicate balance and losing on an element within it can be detrimental to the entire system. Some lizards, reptiles, and snakes prefer to feed on rodents such as rats, for example.

That being said, you arent all that you seem Bodfather, like a Liverpool FC fan, I've been dipping your bin, looking to help feed my wife and 2200 children, and frankly what I've found is quite disturbing. Chocolate wrappers, fast food, pizza boxes, Chinese takeaway cartons, no fresh food, no suppliamnet wrappers, and a lot of vomit stained tissues. Are you bulimic Bodfather, do you have an eating disorder? From this rodents position it certainly seems that way. You need help my friend, before it's too late. Imagine the strain on your organs and heart this is causing. Get help now, before it's too late, the streets need you.

Little_Brown_Mouse, are you sure you're at the house of the correct Godfather-Chairman? That sounds an awful lot like Homer's diet to me. The vomit is obviously a result of his stomach readjusting to his gross, gluttonous lifestyle after a period of gradual shrinkage while locked up in federal prison. 

You won't find a morsel of food in The Bodfather's bins, baby, I'm eating 6400 calories a day just to maintain. I'm leaving those plates as clean as I'm executing ten ass-to-the-floor, 600lb squat reps at Big Tuna's. 

Morty! You're going to upset your grandfather Rick if you continue to day dream these peasant fantasies. 

I have it on good accord that a Garrie was killed by someone completely unrelated to you, for an unrelated encounter. 

Are you really filled of shit to the point of believing your own garbage as factual? 

Or are you just day dreaming because you know that outside of your dream world, you're only use and appitutde in life is for smuggling Kalaxian crystals in your anal cavity?

*your.

FML.

You clearly have me confused with someone else Grooglez, my name is Marty, not Morty. If this Morty is a friend of yours, I suggest you stop hanging out with small boys whose grandfathers you fear making upset. It is very important you find friends your own age. And please, we all know what happened to Garrie. Have you heard some of the things he said? I believe one of his famous quotes was:

01:27 <Garrie[MR]> Why expend currency to fornicate?

You can practically hear the bristling of his neckbeard. His presence in the new world was deemed unnecessary by the council of powerlifters. RIP Garrie. 

Jesus Christ Morty Muscles(less), even when you view yourself in your own figment, you still amount to idiocy. 
Are you saying that to be in your likeness, a person must spend their money to get pussy? Are you paying Jessica to fuck you Morty? Does she charge you extra to peg you with her Weapons of Ass Destruction? 

How can you sit here and claim superiority and some sort of masculine alpha quality when you are not only admitting and promoting incel idealogies by requiring a female to accept your money for you to get to pretend to be a man for at least a few minutes of the day?

 

Grooglez, your proud and confident complete misunderstanding of the point leads me to believe you bear some relation to the late m'mafioso, Garrie? He was similarly unqualified to operate the human brain.

Though it seems his purging has transformed you into a pillar of salt, we have use for those in my new mafia. If we cannot mine any value from the hollow caverns of your mind, we can at least stretch you across the sidewalk so that valuable gangsters don't slip and fall on the ice. 

So, thank you, Grooglez. Your service is noted and appreciated by the council of powerlifters and, of course, my condolences for your loss. Garrie was an irredeemable dork but he was your irredeemable dork.  

Make sure to wear thick clothes, as some of these people are still very fat and you don't want a hundred heel-marks in your back. 

Don't be jealous that the bug bad nerdy man higher in social status than you as well as smarter? 

Is this barely coherent nonsense a question? Because I think the answer to whatever point you are failing to articulate is likely no. I'm out here looking sculpted out of marble while you're standing around looking like someone who picks old cheese out of your shoulder hair. 

If you would like to spend a few days at Big Tuna's, I'm sure we could make something out of you yet. You seem like a very aggressive young man. A lot of pent up frustration. Let me help you become the type of individual who can contribute to MartyMuscles' mafia. 

I noticed the tips ratio was a bit one-sided as well and tipped Grooglez as to balance them out a little bit.

Destro_Whelan turns to the crowd of mobsters that had been listening to the conversation.

During the holidays I challenge each and every one of you to do the same as me.  When you see somebody struggling in an argument, or you see one person's tip jar substantially more full than the other's, throw a few bucks their way.  It will go a long way in making somebody happy, and that is the true essense of the holiday spirit.

The season comes and goes so quickly, we can all return to tipping based on merit after the holidays have passed.  In the meantime, let us spread a little joy.

You have tipped Grooglez the amount of $20,000 for their post.

Destro_Whelan, I am very grateful for you recognizing my friend Grooglez, who is trying his hardest. He simply does not realize that calling me Morty instead of Marty is not bringing him any closer to becoming a valued member of society, deserving of the hard-earned money of others. What's even more worrying is that he continues to pose questions such as these:

Don't be jealous that the bug bad nerdy man higher in social status than you as well as smarter? 

The language is borderline Paleolithic. I take my duties as GFC very seriously and am fully committed to accelerating his evolution past discovering fire, the invention of the wheel and hopefully nearer to a point that more closely resembles the foundation of modern communication, such as crude drawings or emotive gestures. Helping this angry young man will be my finest hour. 

You have tipped Destro_Whelan the amount of $20,000 for their post.

Totally agree with Destro in what he says about tipping and other things, its always good to have som small cash to tip some good guys and gals that are worth it and that way try to make both them  and other glad and perhaps learn some others to try to be glader and also getting tipped, just a few thoughts that perhaps some coudl try to understand.

Watching the muscular man moving around and talking about crazy stuffs he did not care about, the small and frantic kitten could not help but imagine how great it would be to stand on top of such a big individual.

The view point would be perfect ! You could easily check for potential preys, watch out for dangerous people and, more importantly, look down on everyone else.

While Marty was busy explaining his view points to everyone else, the kitten sneaked behind him and discreetly began his hazardous ascension. As a matter of fact, Marty was so muscular and huge that his massive arms could not reach a good part of his back. By the time he realized something was going on, the kitten was already too high and ended up on top of his head in matter of seconds.

He then proceeded to take a look around from his unstable position, satisfied by his accomplishment.

Hey Marty, you make a formidable pedestal ! I can see sooo far from here !

Could you be so kind as to not move around too much though, it is not exactly easy to stay here ! And I need to find something to eat. You know, some meat. Proteins you call it I think ?