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| Story Time with Unky Orwell. | Started by: Orwell on Feb 21, '08 13:34 |
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Gather round children, for I shall weave for you a tale of woe and fascination. Many of you would be expecting a story in the form of a charming little allegory, but not wanting to disappoint or indeed confuse the less mentally able among us, I have instead decided to use thinly veiled monikers that all but the dimmest will be able to see through. Once upon a time there lived two Dons who carried out their business in harmony. There was Don Timmy, with the foot odour; and there was Don Clive with the excessive nasal hair. One day though, Don Timmy carried out what he thought to be a perfectly standard business procedure. Sadly, Don Clive disagreed, and being of the hot blooded Sicilian stock, he swore a vendetta against Don Timmy and all his family in a thoroughly exaggerated fashion with much hand gesticulation. This was all very good and well, but it proved to be, as most current Leaders would agree I'm sure, quite the logistical nightmare. Don Clive and his compadres racked their brains to devise a plan whereby they could fell their foes without taking damage themselves. Eventually, the answer struck them, and it was an absurdly simple solution That absurdly simple solution was to fly to Don Timmy's city in the dead of night, when not even a cheap whore could be stirred from their slumber. In this darkest hour, they would slaughter Don Timmy and his minions whilst they slept. And slaughter they did! (There was also a spot of rape and pillage, but we won't go into that; not only because I accept most of you are docile, upstanding members of the community who can't tolerate any level of profanity; but that's another debate) Back to the story. Don Clive prevailed without losing a single one of his own men, and it was a joyous day for all. Except the bitter offspring of the vanquished foes who complained that there was no honour these days. The moral of the story? The end always justifies the means. Now, my little pretties; here is what I think, and I don't even have to read between the lines. I think shooting people in their sleep is the smartest thing one can do, it is a good strategy, and to suggest otherwise defies all logic. Is a Leader's biggest priority not the welfare of his family, even, especially, in times of war? Perhaps what it has in tactical soundness and strategic advantage, it lacks in honour. Though we are criminals, the code is one of erta and famiglia, not fairness in the fight. The bottom line, for me, is that if the only argument one can muster to challenge the reasoning of a takedown is that the victims were asleep; then the takedown was obviously warranted. |
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Orwell, you would never ever make a decent leader in some peoples eyes. The reason being is that you look after yourself and those around you. You would go to war when you know you cannot die, you'd quite happily kill people in their sleep or when they are not walking around these streets for a few days. This makes you a bad bad man. It amuses me, it really does, the amount of people who go on about honour of war. There is no honour in war. Your whole aim is to kill someone.. why should you really care how you do it? Your mind is already set and your reasons justified. The only thing left to do is, well, do it. You don't want to see members of your family die so you attack when you know there will be no shots heading back your way. It's quick, easy and painless. Surely that should be everyones aim of a war/takedown? I'd also bet 99% of the people bitching and moaning would do exactly the same in that position. Those that would not will never survive in this world. People like you Orwell would shoot them and laugh about it. |
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| Reply by: Tamelo at Feb 21, '08 14:14 | |
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First of all Mr Orwell, I'm happy you have dumbed down the tale for us. I feel that I can endure little kiddy stories, rather than the boring speechs that are given by people with the ego the size of, erm pauses a really big thing, and the brain the size of a coughs loudly brain. Moving on! An interesting story that made me chuckle from here | to....wait for it.... | here. Surely with Clives excessive nasal hair along with some of Timmys foot cheese and the excessive amount of bullshit going around nowadays, that some kind of recipe for world peace could have been made? Again, moving on Just wondering, how long did it take Clive to think of the easiest way to shoot someone? In the back ofcourse. Mario giggles for a second, then returns to sanity It seems to me that this Clive chap (I have no idea who you mean of course), lacks in the ol' testicular section? Whatever happend to a good ol' war? When both people are aware of the situation and shoot pistols at dawn? It may just be me, but I sure as hell feel more satisfaction kicking the living shit out of my enemy when I know they are at full strength, rather than sneaking behind them and sticking a dagger in their back. Perhaps you and the majority of our streets see it in a different light? I don't really care. I'm overjoyed that Clive managed to kill a family when they are sleeping, without losing any men. It must be the hardest thing to do in this world. I'm sure people are just imagining the sarcasm in my voice. Thank you for calling my pretty Orwell, I may have to give you a little visit later. It is the best strategy to shoot people in the dead of night. To avoid a bloodbath for your side and to ensure the safety of your family. For this point I can't argue with. (Although I would've like to have thought up some smart comment that would have all the ladies with the extremely thick glasses lusting over me.) This story has kept me entertained for a whole ten minutes, which admittedly, is hard to do. I believe that you Sir have found yourself a little talent, if you know what I mean. I give this speech a nice big four, yes FOUR out of five! Mario Puzo puts a cent and a key to his shed in Orwells hat. Mario turns to his left and leaves the street with a nice, big, sexual grin on his face. |
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| Reply by: MarioPuzo at Feb 21, '08 14:49 | |
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What with Clive instigating a war, I think you could hardly call him for lacking testicular fortitude. Personally, I'd always feel more satisfied to look upon a situation and say "Well look at that boys, we laid waste to their hordes without receiving so much as a broken finger nail!" as opposed to "Well, I lost some fantastic members, but at least we could mock them because they were awake when we shot them". It's a no brainer for me, it really is. I never said, or even implied taking down a family in their sleep is the hardest thing to do, it is simply the most effective, and indeed the most responsible way of conducting a war. Minus the completely irrelevant crap you started spewing toward the end of your contribution, I'd say the last thing of note you remarked on was that I was right on the point that this is the best strategy. Does this point alone not render all your others completely obsolete? Would a leader ever choose an inferior stratagem when there is a better alternative? The answer will always be no, unless the Leader in question is a complete cretin with delusions of grandeur. |
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| Reply by: Orwell at Feb 21, '08 15:00 | |
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Perhaps we may disagree on certain points. I think that people do need some form or shape of testicles if they declare war on enemies that are awake and are ready for it. I hardly think that you need to be brave, or have a nice set of shiney balls to go and shoot people in the back. Perhaps you may decide that as being brave? Yes I mentioned that is the best strategy, simply because its the easiest. Any hare brained Don with a dozen or more hitmen could take out a family when they are sleeping. THATS why it is the best strategy. Well perhaps me and you will agree to disagree? But perhaps next time you will have the respect, (is that the right word?) not to call what I spoken as "crap" I mean people go banging on about respect day in and day out. Your a respectable member of society yes? You get my point et cetera et cetera, I'm mortally wounded by your insult, aaaaand we trail off the subject. Good day to you Orwell. |
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| Reply by: MarioPuzo at Feb 21, '08 15:13 | |
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I call what you've spoke as crap because it was...well...crap. You think I really give a shit how you'd rate my oratory skills? That's the irrelevant crap I was referencing, rather than the valid points you brought up which I addressed. I never said shooting people in the back was brave, nor did I even imply it. As with your first contribution, you are not just incorrectly interpreting what I'm saying, you're putting words into my mouth. There is an old argument that there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and I think this is particularly apt in this situation. Attacking a foe whilst awake and ready could undoubtedly be construed as brave, yet surely it is as many parts stupid as it is courageous? I'll revert to my previous point that it does take a pair to instigate a war of any kind, though I do feel, ultimately, that the quality of bravery is far overrated in our thing. |
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| Reply by: Orwell at Feb 21, '08 15:34 | |
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Funny thing... I think MarioPuzo got lost on his way to the Wild Wild Wild West. GO WEST MY BOY! GO WEST! |
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| Reply by: NikiNikiTembo at Feb 21, '08 15:35 | |
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Orwell is despicable, #unicorns would never have attacked anyone in their sleep, it was un thinkable, we had honour you scummy peice of scum.... Oh, wait, I'm talking shit again, like most of the whiners who complain about takedowns in your sleep, war is not fair, war is not suppossed to be honourable, as a famous ancient scholar once said 'victory is twice itself when the victor returns with full complement' (I honestly can't remember WHICH scholar but it was one of them, maybe Tacitus? :S). Or as a more modern general will one day put it ever so eloquontly 'War is not about dying for your country, but rather about making the other bastard die for his' *puts away the crystal ball*. The intention of war is to win, preferably at minimum cost, simple as that, all other considerations MUST be secondary. |
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| Reply by: SunTzu at Feb 21, '08 17:59 | |
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Orwell, I think I may love you. In a masculine, manly, friendly way. Nothing sexual. What do people expect? A written declaration of war? Then, shall we put on our powdered wigs, get a drummer boy, and form lines as we shoot at each other? Or perhaps I should slap someone with a white glove and we can duel at sunrise. That would be pure balls. Or, maybe we could arm wrestle. TO THE DEATH. Now that's 100% gonads. |
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| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 21, '08 18:09 | |
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Hmmm... win because of "underhanded tactics" or die gracefully.... I'll take the former. |
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| Reply by: Bill_McNeal at Feb 21, '08 18:22 | |
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While running away from the police after robbing a store Santino stops to catch his breath. He hears a few guys talking on the streets. I've heard about many wars and rants afterwords where people will complain about everything from the color of the shooter's socks to how the attacking family wore the wrong style hat. When people are pissed off they grasp at straws and complain about the most ridicoulous things, such as someone being killed while sleeping. It wouldn't make me feel any better about the death of my parents if they were killed while walking down the street instead of shot in their sleep. Either way they are still dead. |
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| Reply by: Santino at Feb 21, '08 19:20 | |
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| Eh, to be fair Santino I'd prefer to die with my boots on, anyone would...and my forefathers always have died with their boots on...but commen sense on the attacking teams part dictates that any advantage must be taken and exploited and always has been. | |
| Reply by: SunTzu at Feb 21, '08 19:26 | |
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| And I'd prefer to die surrounded by beautiful women, but I doubt that will happen. It would be nice if we could choose how and when we die, but that would take the surprise out of a surprise attack. | |
| Reply by: Santino at Feb 21, '08 19:33 | |
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Lovely story...too bad so many will never get the meaning behind it. Character A (after being killed in a war when offline): "oh you rotten bastards,kill us in our sleep eh? How unfair and dishonorable!" Character A (after their family performs the sleep death scenario): "Oh we capped your asses fuckers! Com eon are you gonna cry because you died...poor bitches?" See it all depends what side your on,that depicts how you act....for some of us we die with a little dignity and grace no matter what side we are on.Thos eof you who say this certain tactic of war is unfair and lacks honor and respect....are truly the ones who do not understand the honor and respect scenario to begin with. |
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| Reply by: Apathy at Feb 21, '08 21:13 | |
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| WHAT???? SHOOTING SOME ONE IN THEIR SLEEP!!!! why waste bullets, use a blade or an axe maybe. It's cheaper people...cheaper | |
| Reply by: thugnazty at Feb 21, '08 21:36 | |
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I see the majority speaks out, like normally/ Mario grins in a drunk manner |
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| Reply by: MarioPuzo at Feb 21, '08 22:02 | |
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Actually I'd rather abandon conventional mi,itary wisdom and attack whilst my enemy is at full strength with banner held high. I'd like to lose the lives of every loyal man and woman that stood by me over the years and give some exceptionally precise hitmen a beautiful window to knock me: "Off my fucking perch." As a fella says. And then if I won I'd try to build an empire with the crumbs I had left. If I lost, I'd gargle on my way to the bottom of the ocean. Seriously though, I think your speech is the best advertisement for a Night Manager I have ever seen. |
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| Reply by: Sledge-Hammer at Feb 21, '08 22:10 | |
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Come to think of it... War is always won by honorable men. History is written by the winners and the only way you can be sure to win, is to use stealth, guile and smart tactics. By the virtue of winning, you are right :) |
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| Reply by: NikiNikiTembo at Feb 22, '08 07:55 | |
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I have no issue with people slaughtering those that they may be afraid to take on head to head in their sleep so long as, when the time comes, the aggressor accepts that at any point in time they could wake up and be... well, dead. The controversial method killing may soon be common practice, just don't have your sons whine should a pre-meditated attack on yourself come while you are fast asleep. |
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| Reply by: Genco-Buscetta at Feb 22, '08 08:12 | |
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A young girl of around 12 walks into the Streets dragging a bunny toy behind her. She cocks her head as she listens to the people talking back and forth. Then she takes a moment to speak for herself. "If I woke up and my family were being killed all around me, I'd be really annoyed about it. Yeah, I'd definitely be annoyed at the people attacking us, but maybe they had their reasons. Maybe they had good reasons. "But I'd also be annoyed with my own boss and the people running the family. Aren't they the ones providing us with protection whilst we give them a large cut of our earnings to keep us safe and alive? "Maybe it's just me. But I think I'd be pretty disappointed with my leader if a war like that happened whilst we were sleeping. Some people have 2 right-hands, some have more. If they leave themselves exposed like that, then I think you know, something bad could happen and maybe they deserve it for not being more alert. Mathilda shrugs. |
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| Reply by: Mathilda at Feb 22, '08 08:14 | |
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