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The Mafias Sexiest Mobster Competition! | Started by: Wheeler on Jul 30, '20 06:29 |
Wheeler jumps up on one of those godforsaken soap boxes everyone is so fond of using and in his best salesman voice, begins to reel off the sales pitch for his newest idea! “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and girls, Racoons, Chimpanzees and Deities! For too long now, these streets have been plagued by a madness. Arguments threaten to turn into bloodbaths as people bicker about who is infact, the sexiest Mobster in the lands! Well I for one have had enough. It is time, for this to be decided once and for all! I’ve decided to start up a country wide competition! The rules are simple! If you, regardless of your species or gender, believe yourself to be the sexiest mobster in all the land, then present yourself before us here! Tell us a bit about yourselves, allow us all to get a real good luck at you, and when the entry period has closed, everyone who has entered will be voted upon by anyone who cares enough to submit a vote! The winner will be given the official, indisputable title of Mafias Sexiest Mobster!” Wheeler then begins throwing fliers out at people, which state that the entry stage of the competition will run until August 07, upon the end of which voting will commence and run until the 10th. Disclaimers about one vote per person and other terms and conditions are also included in small print upon the fliers. |
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You see a door open then a red carpet roll out and then two women. Then you see a shoe. Slowly a figure emerges from the door. It's Johnny McIver. He's wearing a fur coat and puts his arms around the two women and walks down the red carpet. He walks with confidence knowing all too well that he is the sexiest mobster in the entire country. No one could challenge him this title was already his. "Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Johnny McIver and I am the sexiest mobster in America. Just look at me. I'm fuckin beautiful. Women get wet when they see me and some dudes get hard when I walk by. So to everyone else who thinks you got a chance I'm sorry but it's over. I won." |
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Reply by: Johnny-McIver at Jul 30, '20 06:47 | |
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Wheeler watches as the first contender strolls on up, having brought his very own red carpet and two lovely escorts. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first contender! Mr Johnny-McIver of New York! If his entrance is anything to go by, this contest is definitely starting to heat up! Can I get a round of applause for our first brave contestant?!” The crowd goes wild at his request! “I wonder who will be next!” |
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Reply by: Wheeler at Jul 30, '20 07:20 | |
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Henrietta was just walking down the street after completing a deal with one of her contacts when she overheard Wheeler talking on the soapbox at first she thought to herself "goodness, more of this madness? bless their hearts.." until she heard Wheeler's idea for a competition for the title of "Mafias sexiest mobster" then she second guessed herself "oh my, what a marvelous idea" so she walked up to the soapbox and looked in Wheeler's direction and spoke. "I dont want to participate, I just want to leave this here for the winner is all" She said as she proceed to place a small golden statuette with the words "For the sexiest of them all" etched at its base. with her contribution she left to continue her work day. |
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Reply by: Henrietta at Jul 30, '20 07:28 | |
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As Zipline listened to the competition being sprung to life, he of course did not think of himself. So when the gentlemen was finished speaking he quietly walked up to him to ask a very serious but short question. Hello there sir, Wheeler is it? Would it also be possible to nominate people, some out there are awefully busy and might not hear about this contest, or simply would be too shy to come and pump their own chest up to nominate themselves Thank you for letting me know |
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Reply by: Zipline at Jul 30, '20 08:22 | |
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Ronnie overhears someone announce a competition for the sexiest mobster in this country. He scratches his head as he walks to Wheeler confused, as the world already knows Ronnie is the sexiest man alive.
“Excuse me sir. Did I hear correctly? A competition for sexiest mobster?” Ronnie says giving a grin “I believe you’ve found your winner. Tis I. Ronnie radke. Yes. You already knew this. That’s why I’m confused about this competition. Should I just collect my winnings now? Or wait till the rest of these ugly fuckers leave?” |
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Reply by: Ronnie-Radke at Jul 30, '20 11:17 | |
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Wheeler watches as Henrietta comes and deposits a golden statue with him. Beautifully crafted golden statue, bearing the inscription “for the sexiest of them all”. Wheeler nods his thanks to Henrietta for her welcome contribution towards ending these hazardous debates. He is then approached by a Zipline, of Chicago, who asks a question about whether one might be nominated for a place in this competition. Considering it for a moment, wheeler responds. “Good Zipline, what a splendid idea. Indeed, that same quiet shyness might be sexy to some! Sexier than the more cocksure attitudes of some in this thing of ours! Im sure that somewhere in the small print I included something on nominations... ah yes, there it is! I will allow nominations to be made, on the condition that they are seconded by another Mobster!” Ronnie-Radke, the original, self proclaimed sexiest mobster, the spark which set this idea alight in Wheelers mind, then approaches asking about whether he couldn’t just take the title now! Spectators in the crowd begin fainting at his mere presence and medics begin performing first aid on a particularly fragile looking old woman who’s heart appears to have failed at the sight of Ronnie. “Mr Radke, whilst your certainty of your sexiness is indeed a shining beacon to these lands, we must allow everyone an equal opportunity to be appreciated! If you are indeed the sexiest Mobster in the Mafia, no doubt your peers will vote to indicate as such, no? With that, Wheeler addresses the crowd. “Good audience, we have our second contender! The Great Ronnie-Radke! The original, self proclaimed, sexiest Mobster! Now a word of warning for those of fragile constitution! It’s only going to get hotter from here, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the Compe-Kitchen!!” |
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Reply by: Wheeler at Jul 30, '20 13:24 | |
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I hereby nominate Cromwell. I'm sure someone else will second my choice, so let us all already enjoy his suave writer curves, his ink tainted clothes and burrito after shave ! |
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Reply by: Elodin at Jul 30, '20 13:56 | |
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As Zipline heard the ruling from Wheeler, which was way more fair and clear and logical than the ones done recently by some certain judge he rejoiced. For he felt 1 man could potentially be overlooked in this contest. As he heard his own Godfather already voice the nomination he was hoping to do, he knew he would rush after his esteemed leader had spoken to second it
I would agree with the nomination for cromwell, he for sure should rank up there with the most bodybuilding, gym fanatics for he possess something none of them do. It's his intellectual flair, the gazing eyes, the idea that he really sees you!! For the mind is a much more sexual weapon then those big buff muscles are only limited and cannot nurture carnal and intellectual needs of the sophisticated woman!! |
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Reply by: Zipline at Jul 30, '20 14:01 | |
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Hearing the nominations from Godfather Elodin and Zipline, Wheeler announces to the crowd: “Our third contestant, entered via nomination by two of Chicago’s finest, is none other than the reportedly Buritto flavoured Cromwell! Just hearing about his immensely sexy qualities, his piercing eyes and writing curves, has no doubt got some of you quaking at the knee! Who else? Who else will come and compete for this most prestigious of titles?!” |
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Reply by: Wheeler at Jul 30, '20 14:08 | |
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"Now.... Now" Beetle shrugged "Sexiest mobster you say?" She was there minding her own business and couldn't overhear the loud announcement about this touchy subject. She continued "I don't doubt that @Ronnie_Radke might be a leading contender in the sexiness department. I have had a few encounters with this beast during my endeavors and they ended up excessively sexy. Even though I can't help but nominate...." She coughs and clears her throat before speaking out enough audibly for everyone nearby to hear her words perfectly. "The man himself... Rick_Dalton" She pauses as she watches everyone's attention turn to herself. There was an uneasy scuffle and some of them seemed surprised. "Yes you heard that right! This hippie-hating fine gentleman from Philadelphia, Ladies and Gentleman. So modest and humble. So pious and fun loving. He's the MAN. Give him love because he deserves it" She gave them a small bow before exiting the stage leaving them bewildered. But she was happy that she made her point. |
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Reply by: VenomousBlackBeetle at Jul 30, '20 15:22 | |
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A silence falls over the crowd as the venomous black beetle nominates her preferred candidate. Wheeler runs with it. “A nomination for Rick Dalton! The sexy beast from the sexy east! Are any brave enough to second that nomination?!” |
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Reply by: Wheeler at Jul 30, '20 15:49 | |
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As the crowd gathers in the nearby square a stretch limo pulls up and a rather tough looking man quickly jumps out to open the door. Ivy glides gracefully onto the sidewalk looking like sheer sexiness in high heels. “Mr Wheeler sir, so kind of you to finally settle this dispute!” She says before pausing to light a smoke. “I would like to participate and let’s face it. Someone has to represent the female population. These boys would look silly in pretty dresses! I would so love to see them in a dress all the same.” Ivy curtsies before her guards usher her away. Thinking to herself what fun this would be to watch play out. |
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Reply by: PoisonIvy at Jul 30, '20 19:27 | |
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Wolf whistles come out of the crowd as the red hot Poison Ivy glides her way to the front. Damn wheeler thinks, it’ll be hard to top that one. “Our Fourth entrant, ladies and gentlemen! You know her, you love her! Named for a plant but ALL fire, give it up for Poison Ivy!” The crowd predictably goes wild. “Well things are definitely starting to steam up over here boys and girls! I can’t wait to see who, or what else this competition will bring for us!” |
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Reply by: Wheeler at Jul 30, '20 19:46 | |
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vGoddess comes across a pointless competition. It was pointless because it is already known who is the sexiest here. It is herself. She does a dramatic twirl before arriving in front of all the people gathered and presents herself. "Oops!" With a hair flip, she speaks "As you can see, I am Venus the Goddess. I guess that's self explanatory." "You can visit me with some offerings of you have any prayers" She winks before leaving. |
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Reply by: vGoddess at Jul 31, '20 05:56 | |
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Can we nominate dead people? | |
Reply by: Anton at Jul 31, '20 07:08 | |
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Ronnie looks at his best friend Anton confused. He places a hand on his shoulder and leans in to whisper.
“Mate...I think if they where dead. Decomposition would’ve surely ravaged them. But. If you want to bring a dead body to a competition based on sexiness. Go for it pal.” |
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Reply by: Ronnie-Radke at Jul 31, '20 07:43 | |
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Three words: Billy Fucking Russo | |
Reply by: Anton at Jul 31, '20 07:57 | |
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Three better words: I’m Fuckin Sexier. | |
Reply by: Ronnie-Radke at Jul 31, '20 07:59 | |
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You fucking aren't | |
Reply by: Anton at Jul 31, '20 08:56 | |
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