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| Life Insurance | Started by: Numbers4Glory on Mar 25, '08 18:57 |
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Our streets have witnessed many things over the past seven days - a fairly massive war, new auths and much bloodshed. One of these new auths was l0v3hanD, who has subsequently founded The Crazy Numbers in New Orleans, of which I am a part. Good times. We however, as the successful in our profession usually must, have seen a rare opportunity. Whilst we were saddened at the loss of brothers and sisters in this conflict, we see many of their descendants looking to make a name for themselves. Unfortunately, mummy and daddy weren't the most astute when it came to savings. This is always a problem with our generation, all about the here and now, never thinking about the tomorrow. I swear we'll have some serious problems in the future. Still, the hamster wheel was rapidly turning in Numb3rs Central and we believe we may be able to help you. Why not give your next of kin a helping hand in the future? I mean, whilst these federal banks are all well and good, they won't honour anyone's will...will they? In we step, arms outstretched. We are willing to take your cash in exchange for life insurance, which shall be honoured upon your demise to the recipient of your choice. No longer do you have to worry about leaving your children with just the shirts on their back. "But what if something should happen to The Crazy Numbers?" An annoying voice, probably Sprozzington, shouts... Think on this, friends. Who are the least likely to die? Your leaders. Who tends to survive the longest? Your leaders. Who therefore, is most likely to survive you and be able to cash your life insurance? This isn't restrictive to just the Crazy Numbers, although they will be entitled to the best policies.
"What security do we get on our money?" The annoying voice asks again... I stand before you with more protection than any individual walking our streets. I also have the backing of l0v3hanD and the Crazy Numbers in this venture. Consider where you would be now had your parents had such an opportunity. You may have as many bodyguards in your employ as I do. "Ok, but how does Sprozzington Jnr cash my policy?" Whimpers the voice... When you take out your policy, you will safeguard it with a password of your choosing. The funds will not be released without the password. Any additional security measures may be taken at the policyholder's preference. Anybody interested should contact me directly; I look forward to assisting your children. Not in that way. |
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| Lets all think about the children and the happiness we can thrust into, there bank accounts. | |
| Reply by: Curiosity at Mar 25, '08 20:01 | |
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A charming initiative Numbers; but how, pray tell, will you settle the quarrels between my numerous illegitimate offspring upon my death? In all seriousness though, a brilliant scheme; I don't believe we've seen something like this since the Hose Bros got shut down by City Hall. |
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| Reply by: Sprozzington at Mar 25, '08 20:17 | |
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| Oh, the Hose Bros. what a genius operation that was... | |
| Reply by: CharlieBaltimore at Mar 25, '08 20:45 | |
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Great idea guys, I like it. The fee is a small price to pay for those who want their life's work to see its way to their offspring, but don't have anyone to turn to for help. I'm sure it'll be a success, good effort. |
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| Reply by: Silhouette at Mar 26, '08 04:33 | |
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| Sprozzington, the likelihood of you finding an unsuspecting female to sire illegitimate offspring is low. | |
| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at Mar 26, '08 10:15 | |
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| Why do you need a helping hand when all your friends can just buy you bg's? | |
| Reply by: Thunderbutton at Mar 27, '08 02:47 | |
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Not everyone is rich in their friends. Some people would perhaps find this service more beneficial. |
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| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at Mar 27, '08 04:39 | |
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Some people don't have any friends at all, I can think of quite a few. e.g. Numbers4Glory |
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| Reply by: PrinceofCheese at Mar 27, '08 04:42 | |
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Sounds Like a good Plans Aplauds. |
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| Reply by: RustyJames at Mar 27, '08 05:28 | |
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I agree, good plan. But is a first policy of $1,000,000 not a little high? I wouldn't want to tie up that much cash at once. |
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| Reply by: TheJoker at Mar 27, '08 05:40 | |
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Sorry perhaps I should make this clearer. $10 - $1,000,000 - The Crazy Numbers take 10%. So you don't have to start with $1,000,000. You could start by purchasing $10,000 and then adding to it when you're more in funds. |
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| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at Mar 27, '08 05:59 | |
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Ah ok, Il consider it. |
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| Reply by: TheJoker at Mar 27, '08 06:03 | |
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Since the discussion's veered round to numbers...won't the return on $3m be $2.4m, Numbers4Glory? Rather than the $2.5m stated. Not a big deal either way, if I come into a wad of cash, I'll be considering it. |
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| Reply by: Silhouette at Mar 27, '08 07:27 | |
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How disappointing. This is what you get when you trust outside accountants. You are correct. It should read, $2,400,000 and not $2,500,000. Still as someone has asked me via mail, should you wish you can pay in smaller ammounts and continually add to it. |
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| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at Mar 27, '08 07:40 | |
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Okay first of all, good idea, can't think why no-one thought of it. I'd have trust issues but maybe I might go for it. Second of all, 30% of 3 million is 900k. Thus the family member would get 2.1 million and you would keep 900k. I'm here all week, it's fine. |
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| Reply by: Emoretti at Mar 27, '08 07:46 | |
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| No, Emoretti. It's 10% on the first million, 20% on the second million, and 30% thereafter. | |
| Reply by: Silhouette at Mar 27, '08 07:50 | |
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Okay I misunderstood. So 100k, 200k and 300k, oh I see... Yes. Emoretti walks away rather embarassed but thinking of his grandchildren. |
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| Reply by: Emoretti at Mar 27, '08 07:53 | |
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| Is this going to skew the Bodyguard system, meaning people can get huge windfalls of cash from their dead parent, and then buy BGs at low rank while their really cheap? Just a thought... | |
| Reply by: Isen7 at Mar 27, '08 11:17 | |
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*they're Also, isn't it unusual for an unknown thug to have millions in the bank? Most thugs i've seen around recently have been pretty poor, pettying for their money, or at least having to loan it... |
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| Reply by: Isen7 at Mar 27, '08 11:20 | |
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