I make slow things go faster. When people ask me a question, my reply is always 'it depends'.

I stick some things into other things, press some buttons to activate some things, answer calls for things, and manage operate different things that sparkle and zap. I bang some things, I screw in some things, I disconnect some things.

When people break trade laws, I tell them exactly how they fucked up and how quickly it's going to put them out of business :) Careful when you ship things peoples, because the government doesn't fuck around when it comes to duties and revenue.

I once had a cousin who gave himself the title "Petroleum Distributor & Convenience Requisition Assistant".  He was a cashier at a gas station. lol 

clickity clack NO DON'T DO THAT click clack click clack UGH click clack

Ok you're all good now.

I bring people food and collect money from them, if I am nice enough they sometimes give me extra money. 

I explain to people that I need something they haven’t done and then react to people telling me that they need a capital letter changed. 

I sell people dreams, big dreams!. 

And then I also shatter their dreams, only sometimes because I'm a nice guy. 

In between those two, I chill a lot. 

"I punth people in the fathe with the aim of knocking them to the canvathth. I am a pugilitht...I altho like to take care of pigeonth"