Sneering and snarling like a deranged turtle Hobbs approached the streets. Not quite as sacred as the hallowed Square Circle but still an important place to be. The contest taking place before the world was mighty as Powerhouse Hobbs vs Dante Martin, or Powerhouse Hobbs vs Colt Cabana but a battle of behemoths either way. It was a true battle of heavyweights  A hideous deformed ogre of a man vs a hideous deformed man with an ogreface.

"Coach is going to take me all the way to the championship. If I had to speculate I'd say you are nothing more than jealous. Jealous that you're as athletic as a tea spoon. Jealous that you are quite literally half the man as Head Coach. Jealous that you'll never attain success sporting or otherwise. 

You are the first ogre green does not suit, Mr Ogreface."

Let it be known that I am now the leader of a mafia-based all-star basketball team whose wife will still not kiss him and Ogreface is still just an ugly goomba. How the tables turn. 

We liked Conqueeftador a lot as a prospect. He had enormous potential. He is sort of rotund and bent like a potato, which makes him dangerous and unpredictable with the ball. It was a no-brainer recruiting him into our organization. Welcome to the team, Conqueeftador. 

This is a very unfortunate turns of events. I did not foresee a scenario where HeadCoach, known traitor and frequenter of Spike's Mom's basement, would become a crewleader. 

Having had a respect for the structure of a mafia family bred into me from a young age and his becoming a Made Man, I have no choice but to respect him. Thank God that walnut whip, Toranos, took his own life - an act of extreme cowardice that he probably learned while he was bag-carrying for HeadCoach - and stopped talking about his dead Pops long enough for this event to transpire. 

Thanks for the opportunity Coach. I've always been told that my ball handling skills are out of this world and it has been a life goal to play on the The John_Fareham Memorial All-Star Team. I grew up hearing stories about how great John Fareham was and everything he did for this world. 

I just never imagined I would actually make it to the big leagues. 

VVheeler, I don't even know who you are, bro, but you've got a set of cans on you if you're questioning my contribution here. When this is over, I might pull you aside and let you know about all the things I'm doing, right now though there is a little thing called "omerta" (maybe you've heard of it) which means I can't discuss family business with you.

Until then, lets try to keep this discussion about what it is meant to be about, ok? If you want to bang on about Wheeler, a good friend of mine so I might even stop by, you should probably have your own speech about that. 

That this discussion continues to interrupt the various other JFMAST-related activities on the streets is a thorn in my side. I served Wheeler with distinction and honor. My activities since then have been in the pursuit of insanely well-executed basketball & memorialization, specifically that of John_Fareham. For that, the likes of Skitzo and NicosiaAmalfi have made failed attempts on my life. How much more must one man endure? The JFMAST is a pacifist organization, despite the massive efforts we have taken to see this war to its conclusion, as leading lights and role models in this community (being the only ones capable of good basketball). 

My fathers, FourMenInSuits, once theorized that what this community needed to truly rebuild is taller, faster, stronger people with better hand-eye coordination and superior balance. For this, his crewleader Constipated murdered John_Fareham. The proof is in the pudding: he was onto something. No man could be so humorless, so devoid of the necessary communication skills, so unable to follow a pattern of logical decisions, so unaware of obvious contextual clues, that he would do such a thing unless imbued with some hidden agenda. 

For this, we remember John_Fareham, as we do Joan of Arc or Sir Thomas More, and perform wild 360 dunks in his honor every day.